Pressure to blog well...

So a friend of mine tells me that he only reads three blogs.
1. a pharma industry blog (his line of work)
2. the blog of Nobel laureate Gary Becker from the University of Chicago
3. this one

that's pretty good company. Got to keep the quality up.

What happens when I'm in charge...

here's a sample of my son's attire while Tamar was away

5 years and counting...

Today is our 5th wedding anniversary and we are celebrating by doing...nothing.

Tamar isn't here. She's at a dance camp, but you know what? I'm fine with that. The way I look at it...the celebration of our marriage lies in the fact that I want her to leave me with the kids and go do something that she loves doing. We don't need a special day to celebrate our marriage and what we've accomplished, we do that everyday. Ok, that's a joke since some days we're either too tired, grouchy, or not in a good mood, but hey, we try everyday :-)

It is amazing to think what has happened in 5 short years. I've got a wife, a house, a mortgage, a "real" job, and 2 kids. That's about as "real life" and "when I grow up" as it gets.

After five years, there's a lot that Tamar and I know about each other. There are things that we can't stand and things that we'd rather not have to put up with, but when you add it all up, we're thrilled that we've signed up with the best life partner imaginable.

Teaching sales...

So I get a call from my neighbor asking if her 10 year old son can come over and sell me some magazine subscriptions as a school fundraiser.

He does and goes through his pitch. I buy one subscription. Then, he says, "Ok, thanks a lot."

"Not so fast. If you're going to come here and try and sell me something, you're going to get some pointers." I give him some quick basics and make him practice on me.

Of course, then I have to buy more, so I order two more magazines.

Today, I got a note from his father:

"Thanks again for your patience and kindness in helping my son. There are lots of things that we have been able to teach him, but marketing isn’t one of them. After your coaching he set off on a massive selling campaign, determined to win whatever they were offering as an incentive. He usually doesn’t get very motivated about the other school drives (selling gift wrap or candy) but I think the fact that he actually believes in the product this time has been a motivating factor. He managed to reach his immediate sales goal and seems to be looking to continue and try for whatever the grand prize is. At least it’s for a good cause, is educational, and has zero caloric content."

If a tree falls....

In the 7 months he has lived, my son has not mastered the fine art of sleeping through the night. It's very trying...and exhausting.

With Tamar gone to dance camp, I was the sole individual responsible for the care and feeding of our children.

Thursday night, I put Erez down around 9pm. Usually, he wakes up around 12pm or so. It was 12 and I didn't hear him, so I went to bed.

Next thing I know, it's 7:30am on Friday morning and the house is quiet.

"It's a miracle," I think, "he's slept through the entire night."

Then, I realize there's another possibility.

I am a notoriously heavy sleeper (I slept through an air raid drill in Israel once) and it's definitely possible that the boy woke up, cried, and I just didn't hear him.

This, of course, begs the question...if Erez wakes up in the middle of the night and nobody hears him, did he actually sleep through the night?

(Note: Friday night, my parents were here and at 1.30am, my mom heard Erez crying...from downstairs where she was sleeping, so maybe he didn't actually sleep through the night or maybe he did and Friday night, he reverted. We'll never know.)

Home alone...with 2 kids

So it's payback time from Tamar.

She left today for a 2.5 day Israeli folk dance camp in the Catskills and I am on my own with the 2 kids. I figure that when she gets back, I have more than repaid my debt for the solo trip to Israel.

How does 1 week of my vacation equal 2.5 days for her? That's easy.

As a friend of mine said, "2.5 days for you does not equal a week for her. It equals 2 weeks for her."

It's the old "Incompetent Father" card that I like to play.

Tamar and I also have different philosophies. She plays superhero. I play victim. Tamar figures she can do it by herself. I make no pretensions whatsoever and unashamedly call in whatever reinforcements I can muster. My sister and parents are the obvious choices, but I also called my sister-in-law with a business proposition that involved high compensation. I called Calanit's pre-school and asked if, only tomorrow, I could drop her off early since "without that I'm finished."

I'll be begging friends and neighbors for assistance. No pride on this one.

Furthermore, it's obvious to anyone who knows that Tamar is far more talented at managing the 2 of them than I. I have a ton of fun with them and they enjoy it, but let's be honest here. If I asked Tamar to install software, it would be significantly more complicated for her. It's like the "degree of difficulty" scale they have in the Olympics.

If Tamar is the benchmark with a degree of difficulty of 1, then 7 days times 1 degree of difficulty equals a score of 7.

For me, the degree of difficulty, by contrast, is probably a 5.6.

Thus, 2.5 days at my level of difficulty is equal to a 14, hence the realization that when Tamar gets back, she'll owe me a week.

I'm sure she'll be thrilled.

Where is the loyalty line?

For a while I thought that any Microsoft employee who purchased an Ipod or Tivo was being disloyal. By acting contrary to the goals of the company (and your own long-term stock performance), you were being disloyal.

I may be reconsidering, though I'm not sure.

Each of us does things everyday that are short-term benefits at the expense of long-term gain (diet and exercise being the most obvious). If you want to take the long-term stock hit in return for an iPod or a Tivo, then go for it. What's more, as a believer in free markets, if the iPod is a better product, then it should win.

Still haven't resolved this, however, for people whose paychecks depend on the success of competing products.

Full disclosure: I have neither an iPod nor Tivo. Of course, Blogger is owned by Google :-)

Sleep is important...

Once upon a time, I thought that life was about doing as much as you can, figuring that you could "always sleep later."

Now, I realize that without sleep, I'm a shadow of myself. Not only do I not perform at my best, but I'm irritable and cranky. Just ask my wife...

However, old habits die hard. I'm a night owl and do my best work later. Unfortunately, my kids don't necessarily see things that way.

Catastrophe averted...

The weather has been wonderful the last few days so I opened the windows to air out the house.

Last night, I heard a "thud" and then a beep-beep from our alarm system that indicated one of the "zones" of the house was not secure. Then, nothing.

I said, "What happened?" and Calanit answered, "I closed the window!"

Thank G-d nothing serious happened, but the thought of her fingers getting smashed went through my head over and over again. I had no idea that she could even reach the window and for a few hours afterwards, I was really shaken up. There are so many ways these kids can hurt themselves, it's scary.

Later that night, around 10pm, I went into her room to check on her. She was still awake. We had a nice little chat for a few minutes and I just found myself thinking, "I know she can't, but I want her to stay this way forever."

So loving, cute, innocent, curious, and fun. People say that it only gets better and I've seen that it does, so I guess I'll just have to continue doing my best to cherish every moment as it happens.

Kid visit hierarchy...

Much like in poker where there's a pre-defined set of hands that represent a hierarchy from best to worst, I think there's one for visits with kids.

Simply put, the family with more kids gets greater influence in determining time/location/nature of the get together. In the event of a tie, the family that has traveled further gets to decide.

However, if a family with one child comes from Denver to visit NYC and they want to get together with a family of 2 children, that family gets priority. If it's one person coming to visit one person, the person who travels farther gets deference.

At least that's the way I look at it :-)

The true cost of a vacation...

When you are married, vacation has 2 types of costs. Real and nominal.

The nominal cost of my vacation to Israel was, I am proud to say, about $500. (Big factor here was frequent flyer mile redemption).

The real cost, well that's much higher.

It looks like it comes down to the following equation.
1. For the 2 weeks prior to leaving, I need to be on extra good behavior to Tamar (no sense in having her angry with me when I leave) and be extra diligent in helping with the kids
2. For the 3-4 weeks following my return, I need to deliver the same higher than usual degree of care and attentiveness.

In other words, it's a 6:1 ratio of extra care/work:vacation.

Now, the next question to figure out is: how much time needs to elapse after a week of solo vacation before I can take another one? :-)

Best birthday present ever...

was Friday morning when my own child said "Happy Birthday!" to me for the first time.

Long wait time...

I'm calling Comcast to cancel my service (we're going to switch to FIOS and Dish, if it checks out) and I selected (naively, perhaps) the option to "Cancel or Disconnect your service".

I bet they make it REALLY REALLY LONG so that you just give up and can't cancel your service.

Makes sense to me...

If you like movies...

Great site: http://www.killerclips.com

Dishonest and deceitful downloads...

Adobe really got me angry the other night. I was installing the newest version of Acrobat Reader and if I hadn't read the fine print, I would have had the Yahoo! toolbar and the Adobe Picture Manager installed as well.

Nowhere did they say this would be a part of the download. That's not the way you should treat your customers.

Daily dictations...

One of my best tech purchases ever was a handheld, digital dictating machine. I bought it in 1998 for $230. Now, you can get one for $50 or so.

I wear it on my belt six days a week. It has come in handy in many ways. When I'm driving, on a subway, in a situation with no pen or paper, I can capture the information I need. Usually it's a to-do of some sort, but occasionally it's someone giving me information or making a request. The beauty of having it is that I rarely forget to follow up on something.

So, yes, sometimes it irritates Tamar when she's speaking with me in bed and I'll say "hang on" and turn to the bedstand, grab the dictating machine, and make a note, but hey....my mind is a racing machine :-)

Over the past month, I've been sick for most of it, and my head hasn't been "fully in the game."

The last few days I've finally felt better. This morning, by 11am, I had 19 notes on my machine. A good day is 8 or 9.

I think the number of dictations on my machine is an indicator of my mental acuity for the day.

From a new "FOJ"

Happy to be on the 'friends of jeremy' list.

You should think about writing a book. I have the title worked out:

Be(a)st Practices: A technologists guide to an optimized life.

I can throw in a few chapters. I finally executed this week on a long-overdue ambition of removing battery-related bottlenecks. Just bought a second mobile phone battery, blackberry battery, and laptop battery. for a few hundred dollars, i can work/play the whole way across the atlantic instead of halfway, and never run out of phone/e-mail juice. My wife thinks its crazy, so I know I might be on-to something...

Women's haircuts...

Dating 101: look for changes in a woman's hairstyle.

Women love it when men notice new hairstyles, particularly since most men don't notice.

That's why I always look. 8 out of 10 times I'm right when I ask "did you do something with your hair?" and that's only because I am looking for it. The other 2 times...well, they take it as a compliment, so you don't lose.

I guess it's not Dating 101, it's Female Flattery 101.

Today, within 10 minutes, I saw two women at work and was right on both counts. The second one, however, was wise to my game.

"Are you married? Only married guys know to ask that question!"

So, there's my secret. Well , not really a secret, I guess, but a good skill. So guys...LOOK AT THE HAIR and just ask. You don't have to like it, of course, you just have to notice.

Incentive to use the web...

It's more cost-effective for a company to deliver service via the web than the phone. I'm wondering if E*Trade is creating a system to encourage people to use the web.

I had to make a modification to an IRA contribution for 2005. Called E*trade to see which form to use...was on hold forever. Tried to navigate the site (the help feature was terrible). Couldn't figure out which document I needed. Called back and still was on hold forever. Went back to the site and because I was so frustrated with the phone, I looked a bit harder....and found what I need.

Made me wonder if it was a deliberate attempt to make me feel frustrated so that I would give up and go back to the web.

Watching kids sleep...

is such a serene feeling.

I remember when I was single, I was visiting a friend of mine (Shu) who took me into his kids' room late at night. They were asleep.

"Aren't they beautiful?"
I nodded, but of course, didn't really get it.

The best is going in at night and adjusting the blankets, knowing you are making them warm. Having them crash in the back of the car while you are driving is a close second.

Achieving a technical black belt...

If you want to be master technologist, you have to accept that there will be many unpleasant bumps on the road. To get a black belt in Karate, you're going to have some broken legs. To win an Olympic Gold, you're going to have to sacrifice.

To understand the potential of technology, you've got to be willing to have hard disk crashes, lose data, have network outages, and all of that good stuff.

I'm committed to the path of the master. I can accept that not everyone is.

Wedding and Marriage Advice

A friend wrote me and said:

“In other news, I got engaged two weeks ago to my girlfriend. We're obviously very excited - nervous, but excited. May have to come to you for wedding and marriage advice down the road.”

My response:

Congratulations!! Very exciting. Here’s my summary advice.

Wedding: Remember that it’s not your wedding. It’s your (and your future in laws’) wedding. When your kids get married, then it will be your wedding.

Marriage: Your fiancée is at the center of your life. Everything else fits in to that. Not the other way around.

Marriage (bonus): You will be right at a ratio of approximately 1: 40 versus when she will be right. Keep track and you’ll be ok.

Glad to be home...

My brother in law told me before I had kids that "you love your wife, but you REALLY love your kids." It's different, that's for sure and there's nothing so nice as coming home to two kids who run up to you (or reach as the case may be) and say "I missed you!!"

For music fans out there...

Check out http://www.lifeisasoundtrack.com/

Observations on the Israeli High Tech Market in 2006

I just returned from a week long investigation of the Israeli high-tech market. If you are interested, the 5 page report is available by request.

doing security right...

One thing that Israelis know a lot about is security. It's interesting to note some of the differences in how the systems work.

When you go to the airport, every vehicle is searched. A guard looks in the window or steps on the bus. He looks around and decides what to do.On my bus, there were 3 Canadians, 2 Germans, 1 Frenchwoman, and 2 Americans. The other American looked very dark, perhaps middle eastern.The guard asked for his ID, looked it over, and passed it back. It was profiling, pure and simple.

Once you're in the airport, your bags are screened and some more security personnel ask you questions while you are waiting to put the bags through. One of my bags was specially tagged for a hand search since I had received a gift for Calanit from someone.You go through the metal detectors (no need to remove shoes) and you're on your way.They have enough personnel there to make it relatively seamless once you're in the airport.

Just interesting, I suppose, that profiling is so obviously a tactic and one that is so derided stateside.

All Marketers Are Liars...

is the title of Seth Godin's newest book. It's a great explanation of how all of us as consumers think and lie to ourselves about what a product or service will do for us. If we believe it, then we buy it. The marketer's job is not to lie in reality, it's actually to tell the truth. S/he must share an authentic story about the product/service that gives the customer the meat to convince himself what he wants to believe.

You can get the book here

If you want to understand marketing in the post-Industrial era, you could do a LOT worse than read all of his works. (Purple Cow, Permission Marketing, Idea Virus...to name a few).

I actually had a conversation with him a few years ago. Well, not really, but when I started my company, SilentFrog, I was working on the marketing plan. My mother-in-law had given me a book called "Accidental Genius" which advocates a Private Writing approach to help you uncover ideas that are locked in your brain. One of the techniques is to write a dialogue between you and someone whose opinion you respect to gain the benefits of his/her insight. I had a 4 page "discussion" with Seth that helped me clarify some of my thinking. It was great. I think I still have it somewhere.

Pretty much my entire flight (when I wasn't sleeping) from Kennedy to Tel Aviv last week was devoted to reading All Marketers Are Liars Heck, I even skipped the movies :-)

Finding a shawarma....

Along with sushi, shawarma is one of my favorite meals. Yet, I have been in country for 4 full days and have yet to consume one. Partially because we have been on the run. Sometimes because the stands aren't kosher (I found a shrimp restaurant in Haifa, however). It's killing me...facetiously of course.

Tomorrow night, before I leave back to the US, but before I do, I WILL find a shawarma!!!

Travelling in the Internet age...

Vonage, Skype, and remote desktop means that I have been in constant contact with the US and my own home computer for almost nothing. Add that to cheap cell phones in Israel and you have the makings of easy communications and staying the loop.

What's more, my sister, who lives in Tel Aviv, works from 3pm-11pm using the Internet and VoIP to do work with people in the US.

the day that didn't end...

On the way in to the gaming networking event last night, we met two young women who were hocking Red Bull. The deal was...listen to their pitch (in Hebrew) and get a free Red Bull. Why not? It was only 7.30pm

Asher picked up a free coffee at the event and then, after dinner at our friend's home, he had two espressos, I one. Well... we got back to our sister's apartment and hung out for a bit. I went into the bedroom to read a bit of "The Coming Economic Collapse" and it was a page-turner. Next thing I know, it's 3am and my mind is racing. I try to sleep, but can't. Asher, meanwhile, has slept for an hour, but then wakes up.

We start talking. Finally, it's 6am and we know at this point we're doomed. We have a day full of meetings and there's nothing we can do to get any sleep.

We go for a walk...Forrest Gump style, and before we know it, we have walked the entire length of the Tel Aviv beach promenade and back- a distance of probably 7 miles and had two cups of coffee. It's 7.45am

We hit the road for a day full of meetings that include a drive to Haifa. At the last meeting, I have to excuse myself because I was falling asleep in the chair...which is exactly what I do when I get outside the room.

Finally, we get to out stop for the night..and sleep awaits us.

Globalization...

At the coffee shop this morning, we met an Israeli who had spent 3 months in England working in a shopping mall earning money. Not so unusual. What is unusual is that he plans to take that money and enroll in dental school in Romania. It’s cheaper than Israel, the language of instruction is English, and when he comes back to Israel, he just needs to take a test to be certified.

 

Romania is exporting dental education to Israel in English. The world is flat.

"Actually, we're on vacation..."

We had 3 good meetings today (two venture capital firms and one established software company). Some themes are emerging....

Israel is getting/staying strong in
-respecting Intellectual Property
-semi-conductors
-optical networks
-understanding the US market
-Internet technologies
-gaming (casino) technologies

Israel does not have strengths in:
-sales execution
-enterprise software (there's no money in it and Microsoft/Oracle/Symantec can't be toppled)
-communication skills (particularly listening).

The best example we got of this was: "In the US, when someone realizes that a listener doesn't understand him, he says "hmmm, I need to rephrase it.' In Israel, he says, 'this guy doesn't understand me, i'm smarter than he is and he's an idiot."

Tonight, we happened to find out about a networking event for people in the gaming industry, designed to bring together venture capitalists and start-ups. We crashed the event and started working the crowd. We would get people to talk about their business, ask them questions, and figured out what made them tick. They would ask us who we were.

Our answer, "I'm here on vacation."

No one of course believed us, but it's the truth. Best evidence I can think of that we're passionate about what we do. When we're (Asher and I) on vacation, we go and talk business and technology with start-ups and financiers.

on the ground...

Landed in Israel. It's been four years and the changes are noticeable. First one was the airport. The new terminal can go head to head with any one I've ever been in. If you judge a country by its airport, then Israel is a big time player on the world stage.

On a different note, I found out that there is only 1 synagogue in an airport in the entire Western Hemisphere, in JFK.

The components of attraction...

Saw a snippet of a program on National Georaphic Explorer channel about the three components of attraction that a man needs in his mate.

1. Physical attraction (lust)
2. Romantic attraction (feeling that you've found your soulmate)
3. Attachment (the willingness to persevere through difficulties together)

Makes me appreciate my mate all the more.

The trip....

I'm taking to Israel for a week is difficult because I have to leave my family. But I like the fact that I don't feel like I need a break from them or the stressors of life as a "familyman." Something reassuring and comforting about that.

Father of the bride...

We have a good friend whose daughter recently broke off an engagement. To many, it was a relief, since there were signs that the marriage did not have great chances of success.

Recently, we learned that the couple has begun dating again and is committed to "making things work."

I was listening to the mother of the girl describe her predicament. She felt doubtful that her daughter was making the right decision but she knew she could not get involved. If she rejected the idea, she rejects the daugther and thus damages the relationship. I could see the emotional pain on her face as she discussed the predicament she faced as a parent in having to restrain herself and enable her daughter to live her own life.

During our conversation, Calanit was running blissfully around with a big smile on her face. I couldn't help but wonder what type of emotional challenges this little, beautiful girl of mine would bring my way before all is said and done.

She's on my lap as I write this, enjoying the picture of herself

Tax season...

Though with each year it gets a bit easier as I acquire experience and understanding of the process, it still galls me that as a citizen of moderate intelligence, I can't do my own taxes.

Part of it has to do with the time investment, but part of it has to do with the fact that there are so many things to keep in mind that I'd miss more savings than I'd get. I tried once 3 years ago and may try it again in the future.

It is one of the few non-automated parts of my life and it rubs at me like a raw blister.

Have your cake and eat it, too...

I have a Media Center PC which does the same thing at Tivo (actually more) when it comes to watching TV.

It's great to record shows, listen to my music, watch our family pictures and videos, but the one concept that I get but still excites me is the ability to pause live TV.

It's one thing to tape a live game and watch it a few hours later. You know that it is long finished and there's no sense of being in the same period of time when the outcome is being determined.

Now, though, I can answer the phone, look at Calanit's blocks, or do whatever and I'm only minutes or seconds behind. Then, I can catch up.

Today, I watched the Olympic Gold Medal Hockey game. I started watching, paused it for 10 minutes and since the score is always in the top corner, I could catch up to the point where one team scored, watch that, and then catch up to the actual action and feel like I've seen the major points of the game in much less time.

The time-shifting phenomenon that Tivo, er Windows Media center, has enabled is quite remarkable.

My personalized Google search site

http://www.pimpyourgoogle.com/pimped.php?text=jer979

The Olympic Spirit....

Of those I've surveyed, most are not watching the Winter Olympics from Torino. Don't know why. Maybe I manage my time more efficiently, maybe less. Who knows?

Asides from being a sports buff, I like the Olympics because of my past travel experiences. For the Winter Games, in particular, I've been to almost every country of consequence. Thus, when I see Finland play Sweden or cross country skiers from the Czech Republic or Estonia, it's not some distant, intellectual concept, but a real place with real people I can picture in my mind. I can relate to the athletes and have some idea of what they mean to their own countries. It makes it more compelling for me.

I like the spirit of internationalism that the Olympics represent...commercialism and all.

On a side note...NBC has got to get rid of Sandra Bezic and Dick Button for figure skating. So much negativity. It's one thing to comment on issues that affect performance but come on! If you're in the Olympics, you deserve some credit. IT seems like they got bonus $ for every time they sounded holier than thou. I started watching with the mute on.

How I know I'm smarter than my wife...

During one of our earliest dates, Tamar and I came across the fact that we both took Latin in high school. I was particularly proud of one fact.

"I took the National Latin Exam and got a silver medal," I boasted.
"I got gold," she calmly replied.

That, combined with her legal mind and vastly superior intellect for Jewish texts made me defer to her wisdom on many things (technology being one of the obvious exceptions.)

Anyway, the last few days have made me change my mind.

I'm going to Israel for a week...by myself. I've been sick now for about 3 weeks and Tamar has borne the brunt of child care. It's becoming more and more obvious that, as was said at my wedding, I "married way above myself."

Obviously, if my wife were smarter than I, she wouldn't have agreed to marry me. That's how I know I'm smarter than she. :-)

Anne's sacrifice...

We have a wonderful woman who takes care of Erez one day a week. She's from Kenya, 48, and the mother of 4 kids who live in Nairobi.

She speaks often of her "responsibility" and the need to "sacrifice" as a parent. The entire reason why she is in the US is to earn money so that her children, all of whom are back in Kenya, can go to graduate school. Shes' got another 4 years or so, by her calculations, before she can return to her family.

You think that once you raise your kids, your job is done, but Anne doesn't feel that way. It never ends.

Housekeepers who don't speak English...

In the age of Caller ID, I have a very hard time understanding why someone would instruct a non-English speaking housekeeper to answer the phone. It's my job now to speak Spanish?

Why not let it ring and I'll leave a message? Now, you've inconvenienced me by making me call back again later to make sure my message gets through.

This one I don't get.

Learning how to feel...

I'm going to Israel on Sunday for a week. Intellectually, I know, that there's as much risk in going there as driving to the office in my car. Of course, the fact that I'm flying, going to the Middle East raises the perceived risk.

I was feeling pretty anxious tonight as I thought about what could happen and what that would mean for my family.

I came downstairs and started crying. Tamar gave me a hug and then Calanit came over and held me for a while.

I love my family so much and I worry about what would happen to them if, for some reason, something happened to me. I don't like to think about it, of course, but you have to because the responsible thing is to think about it and prepare for it, which I have done.

It's very interesting how these things, whicha few years ago, wouldn't have fazed me, give me pause now because of the people who depend on me...and whom I love.

I've been reading a book recently by Rabbi Harold Kushner called "When all you ever had wasn't enough" and the most recent section discussed learning how to feel so you can really learn how to live. Wonder if this is part of the process.

Speaking of process and the "journey as destination," parenthood makes you think about "what it all means," why we're here, and where we're going.

Yes, there's an element of eternity because your kids live beyond you, but recently I've started to just appreciate the process more. Seeing my kids development, seeing myself develop as a parent. It gives me a nice sense of serenity to think about that instead of asking myself...what's this all about? It's right in front of me.

Dora the Explorer....

As it turns out, Calanit's middle name is Dora. And one of her favorite shows is "Dora the Explorer."

Every episode, Dora and her monkey friend Boots (he's really a monkey) set off on some adventure. In order to reach their objective, they must consult their friend, "the Map." He instructs them on the directions to their goal, which invariably has three components. For example.

1. Go THROUGH the Jungle
2. Cross OVER the Lake
3. ...and that's how you reach the magic temple (or wherever)

Then, he repeats (as does Dora throughout the show)
Jungle...Lake...Magic Temple
Jungle...Lake...Magic Temple

Now, our nightime routine has taken a page out of that book.
1. First, we play
2. Then, we take a bath
3. Then, we go to sleep

Play...bath...go to sleep. Play...bath...go to sleep.

Calanit has mastered this. It's pretty cute.

Social Networking and CRM...

Don't know if you are familiar with the social networking site www.linkedin.com or not, but the concept is potentially very powerful.

Was talking about it at lunch today with some colleagues about how they use it. I've played around with it, but haven't figured out exactly what the "killer app" component of the concept is just yet.

Anyway, that led to a conversation of how we keep in touch with our networks. Mine is very simple in strategy, but difficult to execute, simply because it requires discipline and focus.

Basically, I divide my world into personal and business networks. Then, those people are divided up into "Special Interest Groups" that associate with areas of moderate expertise of mine. These are technology, Jewish/Israel, Germany, Japan, and then groups I belong to, like alumni of Hopkins or JDS (my high school).

Each person is tagged in Outlook with any of the multiple categories to which they belong. When I find something of interest to that group, I'll just send an email to everyone in the entire category.

That's the ad-hoc stuff. The programmatic effort is as follows.
I send a quarterly update to the business and personal networks. The personal one gets a linked to the blog, pictures of my kids, and other personal stuff. The business group gets commentary on business world and a more straightforward update. Obviously, people can move from business to personal (and occasionally the other way).

I also make a point of calling everyone on the personal list on his/her birthday.

I've found a few things out.
1. people, no matter how old, appreciate being remembered on their birthday
2. people remember each year the fact that I remember their birthday
3. if I talk to someone only once a year-on his/her birthday-then that's ok

Basically what this does is when I arrive in, say, Denver and call someone I haven't seen in 5 years, it's not as awkward because, at the very least, that person knows what is going on with me and I've spoken (or left a VM) to him annually for a few minutes.

Some days there are 0 or 1 birthdays. Some days, like tomorrow, there are 6 or 7. So, I invest up to 1 hour in relationships...big deal. At the least, the person appreciates it and at the most, I have a good conversation with someone.

Is it shallow? No, I don't think so. I'm not keeping people in my network because I want to "use" them for some advantage. These are people I've met, have had an impact on me over the years, and with whom I'd like to keep in touch. I appreciate their life perspectives and what they can share with me.

A colleague of mine said yesterday that, "aside from your parents, the things that have the most influence on you over the course of your life are the books you read and the people you meet."

That's why I invest the time and energy to keep in touch and stay up to date.

I also love www.plaxo.com for this reason, but that's another subject.

How to explain....

I tell people that there are two things in life that I've experienced that I can't possibly explain to other people. The first is starting and owning your own business. The other is parenthood.

Calanit and I have a routine now.

Jeremy: "Who loves Calanit this much?" (stretching out arms all the way)
Calanit: Abba!!! (that's father in Hebrew)

Jeremy: And who is Abba's favorite girl?
Calanit: Calanit!!!!

How do you explain how that one feels?

Netflix and the cost of movie testing...

My dad and I share a NetFlix account. What I realized today is that with the marginal cost of putting a movie on my queue at zero, the cost of "testing out a movie" has dropped significantly. It's made me less risk averse.

Before, you'd go to the video store and have to consider whether the $4 was worth it for a movie you'd either never heard of or someone recommended to you. Now, you ask for it, it comes and you can test it out.

I did this the other day with "The Terminal." After 30 minutes, I could tell it was a movie I didn't want to watch. I just put it back in the mail and waited for the next one.

What NetFlix has done, in this respect, is helped me to take more chances in the movies I'm willing to screen. I'll give it 20 minutes and if I like it, great. If not, send it back.

Another dramatic impact of the Internet.

Parenting drama

About 2 weeks ago, Calanit realized that she didn't need to stay in bed when she woke up and that she could come into our room. Not a big deal, she usually climbs into bed with us or sits quietly on the floor.

This morning, Tamar and I are lying there, and we hear Calanit say "I have a poopie."

"Great, do you want to go the potty?" We've been working with her on this topic.

"I have a poopie."

Keep in mind that at this time, both Tamar and I are in bed with our eyes closed. Calanit is on the floor.

At some point, I look over and squint (not wearing glasses and all) and see that Calanit is lying on her back WITH HER DIAPER OFF and yes, she has a poopie.

I am notoriously difficult to wake and we're constantly fatigued (though Erez is improving significantly, it should be noted), but nothing gets me out of bed faster than an open diaper, face down on the floor of my bedroom.

Catastrophe has long since been averted, but it's one of those unpredictable twists of parenting that you just have to love...or you will go insane.

Guardians of Israel...

Among 'mainstream' (that is to say, left leaning, Democrat-oriented) Jews, the Christian right is something to be feared. Their perceived aggressive, proselyte-focused, and faith-based mentality makes many Jews feel uncomfortable. To an extent, I can understand that.

I've also come to appreciate the fundamentalist Christians. They are supporters of Israel and, in my mind, it's a no lose scenario. Basically, the deal is that the Christians support Israel as a Jewish state until the 2nd coming of Jesus. In my mind, that's a deal I'm willing to make.

Anyway, this morning, I was reconfiguring the TV (after a power outage) and stopped for a moment on Channel 17, which was promoting www.guardiansofisrael.tv and showing pictures of Israeli pensioners who couldn't afford their medicince and soliciting donations from Christians to support Israel.

The show also talked about the impact of terrorism on the Israeli economy and made a point of showing the entire state of Israel without and reference to Gaza, West Bank, or Golan.

Amazing....they put their money where their mouths are and some people wonder who their friends are....

A conversation from a child's perspective

It’s great to see how a kid looks at a simple question with fresh eyes after adults are so conditioned to look at it another way.

 

A recent example. We got a note from pre-school saying that a friend of Calanit’s, Kara, wanted to have a play date with her.

 

I said, “we could definitely do that, depending on where she lives.” Looking at Tamar, I asked, “where does Kara live?”

 

Calanit chimed in…”at home!”

 

So true and obvious.

 

Danish political cartoons

Was watching CNN the other night and Paula Zahn was doing a report on the riots in the Arab world. At the end of the program, she editorialized, “at CNN, we feel it is our job to report the news, not to throw fuel on the fire. That’s why we have decided not to show the offending cartoons.”

 

What it said to me was that “we’re willing to give up some freedom of the press for the comfort of knowing that CNN headquarters won’t be torched by a mob.”  Worse than that, though, is that terrorism has now extended to journalism (which I kind of new, but is not obvious) and that the “truth” is going to be advanced by those who are most willing to use violence to drive their message.

 

A friend of mine had perhaps the most keen insight into the rioting.  He observed that rioting is the litmus test for a “perversion of Islam.” Now, if someone says that, for example, suicide bombers are a “perversion of Islam” but we don’t see any rioting in the streets of the Arab world, we can be comfortable in knowing that it’s actually not a perversion of Islam.  The cartoons are a perversion, so there’s rioting. Now, we’ve got it.

 

On a side note, sort of….a colleague of mine asked after the Hamas electoral victory, “oh man, what is happening in the Middle East? These Hamas guys are terrorists!”

 

All I said was, “nothing’s really different, except for you understand now what I understood 15 years ago about the objective of the bulk of the Palestinian populace.”

Snow day..

Once upon a time, snow days were a divine gift.  It’s 7pm on Sunday evening, here’s what has happened since 4 am.

 

1. the power goes out at 4am and the temperature starts to fall
2. at 7am, our kids wake us up and we look outside to see a massive tree lying across the street and the power lines down. By this point, the temperature in the house has dropped to a balmy 52 degrees Fahrenheit.
3. We come up with Plans A-C and spring into action. Fortunately, we only need Plan A, as my parents (who live 20 minutes away) have power.
4. We pack for up to 3 days stay at their home. I go outside, shovel a path out to the road, talk to some rescue workers/police officers who are investigating the power line issue, and then pack the car
5. By 11:30am, we are all at my parents’ home.
6. By 12:30pm, Tamar goes to work, I take a nap.
7. At 5pm, we get word that the power is back on our street. I look outside and see that the lights on my car are on (which I can’t understand since they automatically turn off when you take out the key…and I’ve had the car for 3 years). Bottom line: battery is dead.
8. At 6pm, we get the car started.
9. By 7:30pm, we’re all home. I still have to shovel Tamar’s car out and take out the trash.
10. Fortunately, our Internet (on which our phone/Vonage is dependent) is working, but it takes me 40 minutes to get my newly rebuilt PC back up and running (don’t know why and it makes me question my love of technology).

 

A hassle, yes, but the whole day was put into perspective as I drove with the two kids in the back to pick up Tamar at the Metro. They were whining and not in a good mood so I asked Calanit if she wanted to sing. It took a few repetitions, but I finally understood that she said “Sunshine,” meaning ‘you are my sunshine.’

 

I sang it to them both the entire way home and heard them get quiet and saw them fall asleep so peacefully in the backseat.  It brought tears to my eyes…and I kept on singing anyway.

It happens to the best of us...

If you’ve ever spoken to me about computers, you know that there are three things I emphasize.

1. anti-virus software
2. firewall
3. backup religiously

 

Well, last Saturday night, I experienced something I had never seen before, a total Hard Drive crash. It was crazy, could not even get the machine to work. Well, bottom line, had to buy a brand new hard drive and reinstall EVERYTHING.

 

Fortunately, I back up like a madman and with a few exceptions (some emails and what have you), I’ve got everything that is important, financials, legal, medical, photos, and music. Worked out well, all things considered.

 

And, in the process, learned quite a bit about how computers work (and also got to reorganize my office, a.k.a. the “man cave.”)

Free Home Estimator

This is an impressive tool

www.zillow.com

 

For a while now, I've been saying that real estate is the next big market to be turned on its head by the Internet.

Lowest Price, Best Quality, or Fastest....which two do you want?

I had a boss once named Christophe Cremault. He is definitely one of the smartest guys I've ever met. When we worked at Snickelways back in the lat '90s, he taught me a very valuable lesson about the services business.

 

"Customers," he said, "are always going to want the lowest price, the highest quality, and the quickest completion. There's no way to have all three and they need to decide which two they want."

 

He was (and is) right of course.

 

Yesterday, I was thinking about him.

 

Near my house is a hairstylist training school. For $5, you can get your haircut. That's a pretty good deal, of course.  I went there once about a month ago and got what Tamar said was "the best haircut of your life."  Low price, high quality....it took AN HOUR!!

 

Being a bit on the frugal side, I decided it was worth it.  I went back yesterday for a trim.  I was going crazy, it was taking so long. Now, I know these guys are students and they want to do well and I know that if I rush the guy, he's going to screw up.  I kept thinking about Christophe. The price wasn't going to change and if I told him to speed up, the quality would go down.

 

Finally, though, I said, "this is fine, I've got to go."

 

I think in the future, I need faster delivery and high quality and I'll just go to Hair Cuttery.

Kira's conversation with Calanit

K:  Who is Paco?

C:  Erez

K: Who is the wundertante?

C: you

K: who is Pinky?

C: me

K: who is Jeremy?

C: Abba

K: who is Tamar?

C: Ima

K: Who is Ellen?

C: Nanee

K: I'm impressed.

Changing perspectives...

The following is a note sent to my sister. She recently led a Birthright Israel trip with a number of young adult Americans on it.

 

I wanted to drop you a little note because I haven't been able to get the story you told at the cemetery out of my head. I remember when the Hebrew U bombing happened; I had been working at the Post for about a month at the time. I looked at the coverage, noted that x number of Americans were killed, had a fleeting thought that it was sad, and went on with my day.

 

And now, four years later, my life has intersected with someones who was deeply affected by it. When I got back to work last week, I went back and looked at the summary of that day's edition and it said "Campus Carnage 4-pages." I was struck by the fact that this awful tragedy, that you are still reeling from years later, was reduced to clever alliteration and a 4-page spread. And, just like every other idealistic 20-something, I really want to be doing something that will benefit people rather than exploit and distress those who have just lost loved ones. I think everyone working in the media, and everyone who ever watches the news or reads a newspaper, has to maintain a certain level of detachment from all the terrible things that are constantly around us. But, (cheesy as it may be) the next time I see a story coming out of Israel, I am certain I will really stop and grieve for Ben who wouldn't spin on Shabbat and Marla who should have married Michael and everyone who has lost or been lost in this struggle. So, I really want to thank you for sharing your story because it has really touched me and I know it can't be easy to talk about.

 

 

The Thinking MInd...

I got picked on by a cab driver for the first time in my life.

Traveling to the airport in Vegas, I was offering my opinion on the Cirque du Soleil show "Zumanity." My conclusion, after some background analysis, was that it was not worth the investment.

The cabdriver criticized me saying, "you'll never enjoy anything. You're too analytical."

Wisely, my colleague said, "let it go," and I held my tongue, but it got me thinking.

Later, at the gate, some other colleagues were remarking on some of the comments I had made about Las Vegas and asked "do you ever relax? are you ever not thinking? You're so intense."

They weren't mean-spirited comments, just bewilderment, or so it seemed.

That got me thinking too and it made me realize that it is the analysis that I enjoy. There's something fulfilling about it and it's fun to play around with the possibilities and various angles of a situation, no matter how trivial it may appear to be (or actually be.)

Israel in a nutshell...

If you understand Israelis, this is funny. If you can understand Hebrew, this is hilarious

http://www.youtube.com/w/gruz?v=Z1JaX8v1zO0

appreciating what you have...

The travel week for me in Las Vegas was particularly hard for Tamar since she had to handle both kids the entire time. It’s grueling and since Erez hasn’t yet mastered the art of sleeping through the night, it’s very, very draining.

I know that some of the times when I am on my own and am totally worn down, I don’t always step back and appreciate my situation. It’s hard and you’re tired.

On the way back from Vegas, I spoke with a woman who was very open with me about her situation. She’s 38 years old and there’s no significant other in her life. She really wants to have 2 children and she knows that time is running out on her. She is nervous about going to a sperm donor bank thinking that “the upper echelons of society aren’t your pool of donors.” She has some male friends who might be willing to assist, but she’s very clear about the role she wants from the father in her kids’ lives…basically none. She’s concerned that anyone who is willing to father a child is going to want some level of involvement.

We brainstormed for a while…what about terminally ill patients with no kids? (Maybe, but what does the fact that a person has cancer say about genetic markers?)

What about a legal contract that stipulates exactly what she wants and see who is willing to participate? (Ok, but how do you find those people—there’s got to be a website, right?)

She had a very interesting idea. A friend of her mother’s is 78, never been married, and no kids. He’s got everything she wants from an intellectual, morals, outlook perspective, but how do you begin a conversation asking someone to be a donor for her, she wondered?

It’s clear she’s struggling with this issue. It made me recommit to not taking anything for granted.

Leaving Las Vegas...

Proud to report that I’m leaving Las Vegas with a net positive return on my gambling/entertainment money. I finished up 133%. (Ever notice how it’s gambling money when you win and ‘entertainment’ money when you lose?)

Anyway, I did enjoy Las Vegas, even though it is a type of ‘bizzaro world’ that represents the best potential of American capitalism and the worst in excess, vice, and depravity. One thing I did forget was how much you walk in Las Vegas (or can). It’s immaculate and a walker’s paradise though surreal and disorienting since when you’re in the casino, you don’t know if it’s 3pm or 3am. Not sure it really matters, of course. I was impressed by the friendly attitude of the employees of the various establishments. I suppose when your entire economy is based upon having people want to visit you, you’d better be darn nice.

on moderation...

Heard a great quote today from a colleague

“Moderation in everything…including moderation.”

 

Bizarro world

So, I'm in Las Vegas now for a work related convention and the only things that are on my mind are:
1. only in America is this possible
2. this is the best and worst of America all wrapped into one, kind of like an American cultural tortilla wrap
3. the entire economy here is supported by cash infused from other states/countries
4. the type A's don't come to Vegas (the exercise room at Treasure Island doesn't open until 7am!)

It's a fascinating exercise in American culture and economic development.

More on this later, I'm sure.

Cinderella man

I was invited to a get together within walking distance of my house a few weeks ago. I took a stroll over there and wore a reflective vest when I did. A few people commented on it. My response was simple, “the stakes are too high now. Preventing the preventable is my duty. Now for my kids.”

But what about the seemingly unpreventable?

In Cinderella Man, it’s the Great Depression. On 9/11, it was terrorists. Who knows what fate awaits us? But it’s much worse when you have to worry more than just about yourself. When there are young kids who depend on you for material well being as well as spiritual, emotional, etc., that’s when your anxiety and stress goes up. How do you shield these kids from the potentially horrific? Seeing kids suffer is one of the worst things I can possibly imagine.

I don’t know and I guess you deal with it when it happens (and do whatever you can to make the unpreventable somewhat preventable by taking the best calculations into mind as you take risks-since there is risk inherent in everything).

The question is: which part of the unpreventable can be isolated and made preventable? And how do you figure it out?

Travelling with my dad...

Since his children have left the house, my dad, who instilled in us a love of travel, has set forth a straightforward policy for which party assumes which costs when we travel with him. In sum, the child is responsible for travel to/from the destination (generally airfare), while the father picks up the tab for "ground costs."

Over the years, the definition of "ground costs" has evolved and been pushed to the limits. For example, we were in Ireland together, the week before a wedding (back in the US) which we both were going to attend. To prepare, we both needed haircuts. The question then became: is a haircut which took place in Ireland but has nothing to do with the Irish experience and is solely for an event that is in the US a "ground cost" associated with the trip?

We still argue the merits of the landmark 1998 "Dublin haircut" case.

The split in costs works well when my dad says "I'm going to destination X, who wants to come with me?"

There is the flip side to that which occurs when the child wants to go to destination Y. A case in point is Cuba in July 2006. The opportunity has arisen for a special trip to Cuba in July. The price is a bit steep, so the basic logic is, "if we can convince our father of the merits of the trip, then the costs go down to only the airfare."

Now, it's not as simple as saying, "Hey Dad, want to go to Cuba?" That can work,but it's weak. Keep in mind that there is another "cost" of travelling with my dad. When you do go somewhere with him, there is a pre-trip syllabus consisting of books, movies, lectures and other pre-trip enrichment that is required so that we can arrive in the country with the "Destination of the Mind" mentality, e.g. "Norway of the Mind" or "Ghana of the Mind" meaning you are ensconced in thinking about the destination in all its cultural, political, and economic facets.

Knowing that and knowing what makes my dad tick from an interest perspective, you have the potential to build a compelling case for why he should go to destination Y, i.e. Cuba, and then of course, by extension, why it makes sense to foot the bill for those who wish to travel with him.

Here then, is my recently submitted proposal for the value of travel to Cuba in 2006 (I have left out the estimated benefits for each though it was a component of the original proposal).

Meaningful Event (Area of Interest)
-75th anniversary of Bube/Zayde’s [his parents] honeymoon via Cuba (Epstein family history)
-55th anniversary of completion of “Old Man and the Sea” (Literature)
-45th anniversary of Bay of Pigs invasion (US History and current policy implications)
-80th birthday of Fidel Castro (August, 2006) (discussion of various forms of economic systems)
-105th anniversary of Platt Amendment which ceded Guantanamo to US (US History)
-Jewish Cuban history [post Inquisition and WWII refuge] (Jewish history)
-Social action to aid Jews of Cuba (Good works/Chesed)
-Opportunity to legally smoke Cuban cigars with sons (Family bonding)
-Visiting Cuba despite travel restrictions (Unique, differentiating travel experience)
-“Cuba of the mind” (Father-child bonding)

Validating my self image as a tech evangelist...

Today my neighbor, a self-described Luddite, gave me credit for pushing him into the broadband/VOIP world. He said that my monologue to him 6 months ago had made an impact (due to the value of the switch in terms of information potential and cost benefits).

Now at least I have evidence to reinforce my self-image! :-)

The Terrific Two's...

It's not fair to call them the "terrible two's." Sure, there are times when you have to discipline your 2 year old, but that comes with the territory.

This is a great age. She's old enough to understand most things, make jokes and know what is funny and what isn't, and to help out by throwing things in the trash, for example.

The other day, Calanit and I were in the kitchen and Erez was upstairs in his crib. He began to cry. I was content to let him cry himself back to sleep. Next thing I know, Calanit is going up the stairs (normally I close the gate, but this time I didn't) saying "I'm coming Erez! I'm coming Erez!"

Then, last Wednesday, I changed her diaper at 7pm and she refused to let me put her pants back on afterwards. I figured it was no big deal since we were about to head up to the bath.

Anyway, she's running around the house like a crazy woman in only diapers, a shirt, and a light sweater. Finally, Tamar says to her, "Calanit, are you cold?"

"No!"she said emphatically. "I have my sweater on!"

It's a great age.

New job jitters...

I've moved back into sales from marketing.

I'm excited because I know that in sales, the value you deliver to an organization is clear. It's there in black and white. You always know where you stand. With that, of course, comes greater accountability which can be scary.

I know I can sell, I've done it before, but it does feel different a bit. I mean, there are 2 kids who are depending on me. That makes it feel a bit more pressured.

Over the last 2 years, in my marketing role, I've grown and learned a ton. I know I can talk the talk with the highest level marketers around. That's a good thing.

With the nerves and the apprehension, however, comes the feeling that I know I am going up the steep learning curve again.

Business tourists...

I’ll be in Israel at the end of February as a “business tourist”. This is the 3rd time in 6 years where I will make this type of trip. Accompanying me is my brother, Asher, a fantastic travel partner, particularly on this type of journey.

I’m looking for the names of people in the IT industry who would be willing to sit down for 30-60 minutes just to share their impressions of where the Israeli and/or US IT industry is headed. This could be entrepreneurs, technologists, sales/marketers for large corporations, or investors.
If you have suggestions, let me know.

Managing Expectations
This is not official Microsoft business. I am not making a concrete offer to help.

This is simply an opportunity for the people I meet with to exchange ideas with a veteran entrepreneur and experienced MSFT US-based field marketer. At the very least, your contacts will have an engaging discussion. (Very brief bio is below).

Background
I’ve fortunately seen the country as a more traditional tourist. I now prefer to meet those who are shaping Israel’s economic future, particularly from an IT perspective (obviously close to my heart). I always do a post-trip write up on the people I meet and my impressions of the state of the IT industry there. I’m more than happy to share when I return.

Very Brief Bio
-3.5 years at MS, 2 years leading the mid-market initiatives for our server products in Mid-Atlantic (we were top 3 in every meaningful category last year)
-Currently lead the initiative to drive a scaled partner-led modle in the core mid-market (over 7000 customers)
-Co-founder of Internet-based services marketplace, SilentFrog, in 2000. Raised $500k (post-bubble)
-4 years of experience in Internet sales and marketing in New York and Tokyo with clients like Heineken, Tumi, Fruit of the Loom, IBM, and Unilever

Reducing the cost of technological experimentation...

eBay has done me a great favor.

Before eBay (and CraigsList and Freecylce), if I wanted to test out a new gadget, I had to do 1 of 2 things.
1. only buy cheap gadgets
2. buy a more expensive gadget and be prepared for the fact that I could lose the entire investment (a term I use loosely)

Now, however, my risk is mitigated. I can buy something, test it out, and then, if I find that it doesn't work for me or I don't see the value, I can recoup most of my money via eBay or Craigslist.

Best example is a GPS receiver I bought from my PocketPC phone. It worked fine, but I just didn't use it that much. It was cool, but the business value wasn't there.

Sold it on eBay and recouped 70% of my money. I got to test it out, play with it, understand the technology (all of which I consider to be expenses that are in line with my passion and career goals), but didn't have to fork over all of the cash in the end.

What this does is put even higher priced items within my range of risk tolerance for technology experiments.

This is yet another huge benefit to the Internet.

Late night blanket checks...

One of the things I enjoy about parenting are the "behind the scenes" things that only I know about.

One of those is the late night blanket check.

Erez wakes us up at some ungodly hour (which explains why I'm bloggins at 4.45am). After we feed/change him, I return him to his room (after 5 months, we moved him out).

Then, I check on Calanit.

She has a unique sleeping style and somehow she ends up on her hands and knees with her head in the corner of the bed and no blankets covering her at all. Without fail, this happens every night.

I gently pick her up, say a few words to her, align her head on the pillow and cover her with her Dora the Explorer blanker before leaving and (hopefully) returning to sleep myself.

Keeping the house clean...

is mission impossible. Tamar and I strive valiantly to maintain order (and it's not a mess by any standards) but it seems like every time we put things back "where they belong," we turn around and something is out of place. Usually, Calanit is the instigator, but Erez is beginning to contribute.

As a Type A, obsessive compulsive, initially this got to me. Not that I was out of joint about it, but I tend to prefer things to be organized and I still do in my own little corner of the house (which seems to be shrinking as my kids encroach upon it), but I've mellowed a bit in regards to the other parts.

It's not so much that we let it disintegrate into anarchy. It's just that I realize what the disorder means. It means the vibrancy and growth of my kids. It means that there is life that is forming.

I remember growing up once I saw a comic strip from "Family Circus" where the mother saw a mess around the house and said "when will this ever be cleaned up?" At that moment, she had one of those bubble thoughts and pictured herself as an old woman going up into the attic and seeing all of the toys packed away.

Someday, that time will come for us and our house will be nice and tidy, but that will mean that we're at a different stage of life.

I happen to love the stage of life in which we find ourselves now and the energy of our kids is both invigorating and VERY draining ;-) so I'm content to let it go if Calanit decides she wants to dump her puzzle pieces in the front hall. I won't leave them there for a week, but I'll view the process of cleaning up as a benefit of parenthood and not a cost.

Origin of the name Calanit

They say we only create 1 face...

Judge for yourself.
This is both kids at roughly the same age (5 months of age)

The houseguest handywoman...

Growing up, my mother was the one who handled household repairs. She could fix a leaky toilet, paint, caulk, etc. I'm sure my dad can/could do it, but it was my mom who took it upon herself.

In our house, it's not quite that way. I learned from my mother and take pride in doing the household stuff.

On Saturday, we were faced with a unique challenge. Calanit likes to play with the door knobs and she managed to push in the button to lock the door, without our knowledge.

We had guests coming over with an infant whom we figured we would put upstairs to sleep when he took a nap. Being a bit on the messy side in our room (a 5 month old does that to you when he sleeps in your room), we were reluctant to have our lunchguests even inadvertently see the disorder, so we closed the door to our bedroom.

It was at that point that we discovered we were locked out. Valiantly, I tried all manner of ways to open the lock, but failed entirely.

Our houseguests showed up and the wife took it upon herself to solve this problem.

And she did. Sure my ego was bruised...a bit...but more importantly, our door was open and WE WERE IMPRESSED.

It was an epic display of household "Handypersonness" and it goes down in the annals of the Epstein home as one of the great 'gifts' of all time.

I'll have to clear the blog entry with her before I release her name (she may not want you calling her!)

A dead man lives...

A few months back, a dear friend of ours passed away. He was 60 years old.

My mother has been helping his widow go through all of his belongings to process them and organize them. He was a well dressed man in his day and I am the recipient of 6 suits, 4 blazers, and numerous shirts and trousers. The clothes fit neither of my brothers.

Anyway, over the last few weeks, I've been wearing his clothes. That doesn't bother me so much. In fact, I think he's post-humously making me a better dresser.

What is interesting is how I'll put my hand in a suit pocket or the back pocket of some pants and find something that he put there.

Today, I found a cocktail napkin. I've found a dollar bill and a button, among other things.

It's just weird to think that he put these things there whenever he did and now I'm taking them out. It makes me pause to think about the man and in a different twist, what was happening to him when he put the item in there at the time.

The possibilities are endless:
Did he get change for $10 bill and only need 9?
Was he at a party on his way out and didn't see a trash can, so put the napkin in his pocket?
Did he find a button on the street or his desk? Was he doing a friend a favor?

I guess it doesn't matter, but it gives me a unique chance to have a 1:1 bond with a departed friend.

Nemawashi...

There are some great terms in foreign language that succintly describe a concept that takes multiple English words.

One of the best is "Schadenfreude" in German, which basically means taking joy in the misfortune of others. A great example is if you are a watching a football game and your team intercepts a pass. You experience Schadenfreude as a result of the opposing team's problems.

Another great one is "Nemawashi," in Japanese.

A friend of mine from the Snickelways days called me up this evening and told me that he had used this term over and over with the boardmembers of his non-profit organization. Their meeting is this upcoming Friday and he had scheduled meetings with each of them prior to the actual meeting. When they asked him why, he said it was Nemawashi.

Nemawashi reflects the Japanese desire for consensus and is the process of securing agreement from all of the principal players on a topic prior to the actual meeting. This way, when the meeting occurs, there is no animosity nor loud debate. Everyone has already agreed upon the course of action.

I was honored that he remembered it six years down the road and it caused me to once again appreciate some of the elements of the foreign languages and concepts I've studied.

How I walk....

Got to love what technology can do. About 6 months ago, I detected some pain in my left knee and ankle. I sat off it for a while and when that didn't work, went to the Orthopedist. He prescribed orthotics.

Finally, went there yesterday and as part of the examination, I walked over a pad, which was connected to a computer that tracked 2000 points of pressure from my feet on the ground.

It was pretty insightful as the image shows. The areas of red is where highest pressure is and, I'm told, it should all be in the front of the foot. It's not, clearly, so we'll see if the orthotics help and if not, there's apparently some therapy to "re-learn" how to walk.

Bluetooth and 1066

My newest technology gadget acquisition is a Bluetooth-enabled wireless headset for my phone. Bluetooth is a technology that has been around for at least 7 years (when I first heard of it) and I think it's finally hitting the mainstream (judging by the fact that it's a selling point in current car commercials.

This has led me to the new conclusion that the adoption curve for technologies is approximately 7 years. I'm watching a few others, including Electronic Bill Payment and Presentment (e-Billing), among them.

When I first heard about Bluetooth, I remembered that it was named for a Danish king (it was invented in Denmark). For more info on the origin of the name, click here.

Meanwhile, I've been listening to a book about the Norman invasion/conquest of England in 1066. I had no idea of the interplay of the Norwegian king, Harald Hardrada in the events of that year until I listened to this book. Anyway, in part of the historical context, the author was mentioning Harald's experience with the Danish kings who "always had colorful nicknames."

Made me think of King Bluetooth and the earphone I was wearing at the same time bearing his name over 1000 years later.

Girl Scout Cookies...

If a girl scout shows up at your door, do you HAVE to buy cookies?

I mean, let's say you don't really want them. Are you discouraging the girl if you say no and sending her down the wrong path? Or, are you misleading her, by doing a symptathy buy, since that's not how sales really work?

This year, the doorbell rang and I KNEW I didn't want ANY cookies at all in the house (having learned from last year).

What to do?

P.S. One option was to buy a box that would be "donated" with the proceeds going to the "Army" (that's the word she used) or "Cancer" (I didn't ask further).

Travelling with "the boy"

It was with mixed emotions that I woke up this morning. On the one hand, I was looking forward to some quality bonding time 1:1 with Erez. On the other hand, I was thinking about all of the possible snafus that could evolve in 7 hours of travel, two airplanes, a connection in Detroit, and a 5 month old infant.

Key lesson of the day is that when a father is travelling alone with a child, the attitude of the people around you changes dramatically. Let's say a mother is there with a crying child, people are thinking "hmmm, why can't this woman control her kid?"

With a father, there are no expectations, people think that he's naturally incompetent. Women flock to you (particularly those between 45-65 with no grandkids of their own), and you're the object of empathy and patient understanding.

On flight 1 (which suffered a 45 minute delay on an uncomfortalby hot day), I enlisted the aid of 4 flight attendants and 5 other passengers. It was great. Flight 2 wasn't as bad from a crying perspective (we had about a 25 minute episode on the first flight) and we made it very well.

I guess the key for today was attitude and perspective. If you think it's going to be stressful and difficult, it will be. If you give yourself plenty of time, plan and think ahead, and maintain your composure, it's generally going to work out pretty well.

Erez was a total trooper and did a great job of putting up with all of the movement. A bonding day indeed.

Memphians....

It took me 36 hours on the ground in this city by the Mississippi to get the answer to the question of "what is a person from Memphis called?" but I was relentless and succeeded.

The other questions I asked were, "what do Memphians take pride in for their city?" (Blues, BarBQ, FedEx" and "what are real estate prices like?" ($200k for a 4 bdrm/2 bath in a nice neighborhood.) That was just the tipe of the iceberg as tte four of us spent the weekend in Tennessee as part of the wedding festivites for Tamar's family.

A firm believer in the need to learn about the location you visit and experience its unique attributes, I made sure we (well, at least Calanit and I) were off and running as soon as we landed. (The logistical elements of moving 2 kids, getting up at 4.30am, taking car seats, strollers, and clothes is a story for another day. The rough parallel is the US Army invading Iraq.)

Anyway, I took Calanit to Graceland and, like my dad did for my siblings and me, made a point of explaining the significance of Elvis to American pop culture. We also talked down to the river, where I told Calanit about its importance to American economic development. Beale St. is the heart of the Blues culture, which was complemented by a visit to the Stax museum of Soul Music, so we could talk about American music and the African American culture of the Deep South. We also saw the famous ducks of the Peabody hotel parade out of the elevator and into the pond.

All of this plus tremendous family bonding time, including a mock football game in the conference room of the hotel where we dstayed, made for a memorable weekend.

(The picture at right is Calanit in front of Elvis' fur covered bed in Graceland.)

Calanit's identity

“Calanit, are you Jewish?”

“No!”

“Really, why not?”

“Cuz I’m Calanit!”

 

 

Ariel Sharon's words.

On this sad day (Sharon has suffered from two strokes) I found a May 2003 quote from Haaretz:

"A senior security official recently told [journalist Akiva] Eldar of a conversation with Sharon, in which the prime minister said Israel must stick to its guns for the next 30 years, at which time alternative technologies will reduce the need for oil, thus sapping Arab influence on Europe and the world."www.SetAmericaFree.org

Learning science...

I've got a great little "con" that I put on.

I've taught Calanit that when I say "Ar" she says "chimedes." As in, Archimedes, the Greek philosopher/scientist who postulated that the amount of water displaced from a bathtub when a person enters it is equal to the mass (or volume, honestly I don't even remember) of the person.

So, what I do is the following.
"Calanit, what was the name of the Greek philosopher who, while sitting in a bathtub, came up with the principle identifying water displacement based on volume of the object inserted into the water? His name was 'Ar..."
"chimedes!!!"

People are blown away and say "I didn't even know that!"
Of course, I could say, "who was the guy at the grocery store? His name was "Ar..."
"chimedes!"

Anyway, it's pretty cute.

I do have her refined on the following:
"What's a major component of blood?"
"Hemoglobin!!"

All she needs to hear is 'blood' and she's off and running.

I'm working on some more. I'll keep you posted.

What I love about America...

My cleaning lady has a nicer (as defined by price) car than either my wife or I do.
What a country.

I know you're going to ask.
She's got a Hyundai Sonata. I have a Hyundai Elantra and Tamar drives a '91 Camry.

Multiple choice questions...

My dad used to use multiple choice questions very effectively. I've started having fun with them (and hopefully teaching my kids as well.)

Last night's was the following:
"What time do you go to bed?
A. 3 o'clock
B. 8 o'clock
c. 10 o'clock"

"10!"
"I'm sorry that's incorrect. Would you like to try again?"
I repeated the answers.
"8!" she yelled.
"Good job."
Then she said, "thirty," as in eight-thirty.

Tamar and I just looked at each other wondering how she knew that one. Kids pick up the darndest things.

Macro and micro-balancing

I was explaining to Erez this morning that one life's challenges is sweating the small stuff, the details that do matter and which together form the building blocks of our lives, but at the same time, being able to stop and smell the roses and appreciate life's great dramas like love, struggling with issues of mortality, a baby's smile, and of course, a great football game.

Nothing too profound here, just still marvelling at how we can (and have to) exist on both planes simultaneously.

What a game

Tamar came down at 12.15 or so and chided me for staying up to watch the Texas-USC national championship game. Texas was down by 5 points with 3 minutes to go or something like that.

 

“Sometimes,” I said, “there is no doubt that I waste my life watching too much football. Tonight, however, is not one of those nights. This is one of the greatest college football games of all time, maybe the greatest and this quarterback is incredible. I’ve never seen anyone like him.”

 

And at that point, the game wasn’t even over. It just got better after that. Whoa!

 

The first-ever "Blogvey"

If Blog=Web + log

Then Blogvey= Blog + survey

 

Anyway, since there’s no easy way for me to track who reads the Blog, would you mind just posting a comment to this entry? Let’s give it a week and see how many people actually do read the blog.

 

Thanks for humoring me on the first, as far as I know, Blogvey on the Internet.

Blogvey addendum...

It doesn't help if you don't sign it. Enough with the "anonymous" :-)
Throw me a bone here, man.

Big Girl Bed

My little girl is growing up. The last 4 nights she hasn’t slept in a crib and now prefers the “big girl bed.”

Certainly one of life’s little exciting moments (or maybe a big exciting moment).

What it means to have a kosher kitchen

Heard this the other day and thought it was spot on.

 

“To have a kosher kitchen means you have two of everything and prepare a Thanksgiving meal every week.”

New perspective on some of the challenging aspects of parenting...

Some of the late nights are very tough. The fatigue wears on you. There are times, when I selfishly look at my son and beg him to sleep or I ask him to not require that he be held so often.

Then, this morning at 6 am, I had a flash.

At some point, in the not too distant future, he's probably not going to want to be held by me. In fact, he may even run in the opposite direction. Better cherish these moments of when he really wants me to hold him, no matter how tired I am.

Sometimes a change in perspective is all it takes.

So, what is a Great Mind?

If the New Year's resolution is to spend times with great minds, then a definition is probably warranted. I suppose it's a person who likes to ask "Why?" and likes to spend time talking about ideas, as Eleanor Roosevelt said, and is also comfortable talking about the important aspects of life-like death-in non-emotional terms. Someone who is comfortable discussing the uncomfortable and seeking answers within them. Someone who would rather talk about this and gets annoyed, possibly, when a comment like "nice weather..." is thrown at him.

I'm sure there'll be more on this.