Feeling less than 100%

One of the most difficult aspects to the recovery process is not being able to "go 100%" It's frustrating, very frustrating, for someone who enjoys his Type-A approach and doing things in "overdrive."

I know I shouldn't push myself, but I can't help but feel that:

1. if I don't push, I'll lose my 'edge' both in my personal and work life
2. there's a double-edged sword of having a company/team that says "hey, take the time you need," because the work will just double when I get back
3. it's all well and good for a company to say "take your time," but at the end of the day, it's about shareholder value, so your personal health doesn't really matter. In other words, if I don't deliver, I'm either not needed or not highly compensated...no matter what anyone says
4. sitting around watching TV and reading is nice, but not the best thing for me long-term (though I have seen a lot of Project Runway, Trading Spaces, American Made, & Designed to Sell and am reading Beyond Bullet Points, Stealing Fire from the Gods, and Decoding the Universe [a tough one, but deep])

This anesthesia stuff really does take a lot more out of you than you realize.