The ties that bind…

Image via Wikipedia

Part of the travel experience is embedding a sense of curiosity in my children.

The other part is the family bonding. Within that is the bonding I have with my kids, but I think more of it may be facilitating the bonding they have with each other.

The experience of discovering the new (together), of dealing with unfamiliar and sometimes frustrating experiences (together) and of shared moments is the mortar that, I hope, will cement the relationship of my kids for years to come.

I remember reading an article many years ago that, when all is said and done, it is your siblings who are the ones who know you longer than anyone else.

You (hopefully) outlive your parents.

Your spouse and kids meet you later in life.

But it is with and through your siblings that you can go back and investigate the beginnings of your personal story.

I thought about this as I watched Kohlberg/Tikkanen and Kravis/Jokinen playing on the slides and see-saw at the Gan Sacher park in Jerusalem for over an hour.

We had nowhere to go and, thanks to the fact that my cell phone data plan was really expensive, I was able to be EXTREMELY present in the moment.

So, while Roberts/Lakkanen and I were playing, I was able to just watch them from afar, laughing, playing, enjoying life and time away from the day-to-day, building those bonds that will last them a lifetime.

What would (younger) Jeremy do? (audio version)

In case you missed yesterday’s post or prefer an audio version, I recorded this Cinchcast. Listen here.

 

What would (younger) Jeremy do?

Twenty years ago on the eve of my first big visit to Israel, my father asked some friends of our family to give me some travel advice.

The one I remember and which impacted me the most came from our friend, Sue Singer.

Her guidance?

“Walk the land.”

It became my mantra for those four months and my subsequent travels in Europe, Asia, and elsewhere.

It was through “walking the land” that you really get to know a place.

I thought of those words when I woke up at 4.30am in Jerusalem.

The night prior, I had driven from suburban J’lem into the city for dinner with some friends and parked in a garage.

When I returned at 10.30pm, I discovered-to my dismay-that the garage had closed at 9.30pm.

(Now, what self-respecting late-night dinner area garage would do that is beyond me, but I digress.)

I got a ride home from some friends, but was faced with the question: Best way to retrieve the car the next morning (garage opened at 7am) without major disruption to the family?

My hostess told me about a bus option, which would require me to get up at 6.10am.

I set the alarm, but I guess I was concerned about the alarm waking the kids, so something woke me up (anxiety maybe).

As I lay in bed, thinking about life, I recalled Sue’s words “walk the land.”

Then, I thought about age and the passage of time.

If youth is a “state of mind,” then staying young is about doing things that your younger self would have done (with slight adjustments for the fact that I have 3 kids, etc.)

So, I said to myself “what would (younger) Jeremy do?”

The answer: “He would just ‘walk the land.’”

So, that’s what I did. 3 miles or so.

1 hour later, I was downtown, ready to get the car, but I had seen the city come to life, watched the sunrise, and found free wi-fi.

I had created a memory and, at least in my mind, “stayed young.”

Curiosity, Travel, and Adaptive Learning…

Sometimes, it is good to have programs designed for kids.

Sometimes, you can take the attitude of “no matter what, we can make this exciting.”

The point of travel isn’t about a checklist.

It’s about building perspective and creating curiosity.

We took the kids to the Israel Museum and found, slightly to our dismay, that there were no kid-centric activities scheduled for that day.

Not to despair, the NFO and I took turns (it felt very unifying) in creating a memorable experience for them.

First, they climbed in the sculpture garden. Then, when I saw the “do not climb” sign, we moved over to the model of Jerusalem during the 2nd Temple period.

We proceeded to explain why cities had walls, water basins, and gates. From there, our kids took over, asking all manner of questions about ancient fortifications and beliefs. It was inspiring to behold.

Eventually, we made our way to the Shrine of the Book where the Dead Sea Scrolls are located.

Again, Team Finland or KKR as they are known, demonstrated their aptitude and excitement for new experiences by asking questions about who wrote them (the Essenes), why (your guess is as good as mine), and what they talked about.

While the museum is quite large, we spent only about 80 minutes there, but we were able to confidently declare victory after seeing the inquisitive nature of our kids plus feeling confident that we had imparted in them a sense of history and connection to the land.

Related articles

• Dead Sea scrolls going digital on Internet (blogs.reuters.com)
• The Shrine of the Book (biblicalpaths.wordpress.com)
• Israel, Google to bring Dead Sea Scrolls online (topinews.com)

The Super Bowl in Bogota and the Social Media Connection

I watched the Super Bowl in Bogota, Colombia this year.

In the lobby of my hotel in the afternoon prior to the game, I met two guys who were contractors to the American Embassy.

They were headed over to the Hard Rock Café to watch the game with others.

I considered that, but was pretty tired from an early morning flight and also had a big day the following morning.

Instead, I watched the game in my room alone.

But not really.

The Super Bowl is, as you know, a social event and I felt like I was participating in a worldwide Super Bowl party.

Between Facebook and the Super Bowl “hashtag” on Twitter, I was able to participate and listen into the conversations and thoughts of both my friends and people I didn’t know.

Even though I didn’t see any of the commercials (they aren’t played internationally), I saw people’s reactions immediately.

I was alone, but that was the furthest feeling from my mind.

How to make calls from abroad to US for free…

Just sharing how I do it in this video and hopefully, it will be valuable for you.

Seismic Shifts: Prosecution and Gas

Image by Getty Images via @daylife

Two really seismic events happened within days of each other while we were in Israel.

The first was that the former President, Moshe Katzav, was convicted of rape.

The second was that a HUGE natural gas field (known as ‘Leviathan’) was discovered off Israel’s northern coast.

While no one is in favor of rape, of course, I detected a small sense of national pride among Israelis that they were sending a message to the world: No one is above the law and we’re not afraid of prosecuting the elite and the higher ups.

This bodes well for Israeli democracy and national pride.

In how many other countries, they asked, would people do the same?

And the news of the Leviathan find sent another message, albeit a more subtle one.

It said, I think, that the dynamics of international politics will change significantly if, indeed, Israel is able to become a net energy exporter.

Two events which will have long lasting impact on the evolution of the state.

2000 Year Old Dig

Though jet-lagged, Day 1 was an active one.

We took the kids to Beit Guvrin where we participated in a program run by Archaeological Seminars called “Dig for a Day.”

The guide, Missy, was great and she gave the kids a wonderful perspective on the 2000 year old cave in which we were digging.

The place was called “Tel Maresha” and there were something like 3500 caves which were quarries and storage facilities.

The kids were enraptured by the description and, as you can see, they got down and dirty.

Best part was that they found some pottery shards, so they were the first people to touch them in over 2000 years.

Very cool and a great way for the kids to connect with the land and the history.

Why go to a “war zone?”

My grandmother could never understand why someone would travel from America to Israel.

“Why do you want to go to a war zone?” she would ask.

Of course, since 9/11 (arguably Feb. 1994), the US is a war zone, but I digress.

What’s interesting now in Israel (and it’s been like this for a few years now) is the number of illegal immigrants from countries like Thailand the Philippines.

Working as home health care providers and cleaning ladies, the economic opportunities outweigh any security concerns.

I met a woman named Cheryl from Manila. She’s lived in Israel for years, has no concerns about security and her family has no concerns either.

It just makes good financial sense for her (and her family).

What a world we live in.

New Nickname Alert/Glossary

As you know, one of my core philosophies as a father is that it is my responsibility to help my kids understand that change is life’s only constant.

To help them acclimate, I will periodically introduce new nicknames to keep them on their toes.

Recently, I was watching a biography of private equity legend, Henry Kravis. Financial and business types will remember him from the book “Barbarians at the Gate.”

Anyway, Kravis had two partners, Kohlberg and Roberts, and formed KKR.

So, now, I call my kids “Kohlberg, Kravis, and Roberts.”

The nickname glossary

1. Tonka, Tikkanen, Kohlberg (age 7, girl)
2. Paco, Maximus, Jokinen, Kravis (age 5, boy)
3. Nadia, Lakkanen, Roberts, (age 3, girl)

Tonka: Only relevant emails, please…

As I mentioned, Tonka has use of an iPhone.

Until recently, she was the only one of the kids who could read and thus was a conduit for all messages to her siblings.

Paco, however, has been learning and, as a right of passage, I felt like it was time to get him his own account.

My mom didn’t know yet that he had been set up (it was still new) and sent a note to Tonka asking her to relay a message to Paco.

Her reply:

From: Tonka Epstein
Date: December 27, 2010 9:07:37 AM EST
To: Nannie

Subject: Paco

Paco has his own email just so
You know you can email him
and you don't have to email me
if it's something I don't need
to know.

Sent with Love from my iPhone,

Tikkanen/Tonka

Israel and Sustainability…

After seeing India, the enormity of the environmental challenge in front of us was driven home for me.

After visiting Israel, I see a possibility for HUGE amounts of innovation to happen here that ultimately impact the entire world.

Already limited in natural resources and exacerbated by the Arab embargo, what you are seeing in Israel in terms of innovation in desalination, electric cars, renewables, solar….it’s really remarkable.

This place will be (if it isn’t already) recognized as a leading R&D lab for the ecological future of the planet.

Historical Injustices in a new light?

Last month, Tjada and Simon vigorously challenged the idea that a historical injustice could be viewed in an alternate light after the passage of time had revealed new facts.

I thought about that as we glided through the still relatively new airport in Tel Aviv.

Israel’s ascendancy as an economic and technological power happened, in my mind, in large part because of the fact that the Arab states rejected the 1947 Partition Plan and have continued a declared state of war ever since.

It’s a historical injustice that Jews have been killed for simply being Jews and living in the Jewish homeland.

But, the success of the country today is connected to the root cause of those deaths.

• Would I rather that all of those people not have died?
• Would I rather that not all those Africans had been enslaved?
• Would I rather that Indians had not been subjected to the excesses of British rule?

Of course.

Still, it’s interesting to see how these things play out over time.

El Al and the Map of World Relevance…

When you study the map of El Al’s service area, one thing jumps out at you.

You know why, of course, El Al can’t fly directly from Israel to Mumbai, Beijing, or Hong Kong, but when you see the massive loop they have to make around the Arab Middle East, something else jumps out at you.

Not Arab intransigence about the acceptance of Israel, but more like a big sign that says “no significant innovation or economic development happens here.”

But, on the periphery, Israel, China, India…that’s where stuff will happen.

Israel: Nothing to prove?

Years ago, when you landed in an El Al plane Israel, they would play traditional Zionist songs over the loudspeaker.

People would clap.

It was a celebration of the Zionist achievement.

Now, the plane just lands.

No clapping.

But, this isn’t about a nostalgic yearning for a different era, it’s about the fact that, in my mind, Israelis now feel like they don’t have to prove themselves to anyone anymore. And they have accepted that the views of others aren’t going to change.

A few months ago, there was a semi-controversial article in Time magazine saying “Why Israel doesn’t care about peace.”

The basic premise was that, with respect to the Palestinians, that most Israelis had gotten to the point where they realized that there was no credible peace partner on the other side of the table and that, the security issues had just become a “nuisance of life.”

My recollection was that many within the pro-Israel community were upset and concerned with this article and went to great lengths to denounce it.

I remember thinking, “yep, that sounds about right.”

This was my 9th trip to Israel, if I’m not mistaken and the vibe I am picking up (and maybe I’m looking for it) is:

“yeah, we’re here, people want to kill us every day ,but whatever…we’re just going to do our thing.

We’ve got one of the highest standards of living in the world, some of the best technology around, and we’re as global a country as you will find.

We don’t have to prove ourselves. If you want to hate us, ok, hate us.”

Israel used to have to celebrate itself because its accomplishments were so new and unbelievable.

It used to feel like “hey, I want to be loved. Please love me. I’ll do whatever I need to do to be loved.”

Now, it’s:

“Ok, the world is going to hate me no matter what and I just don’t really give a damn.”

At 63 years of age, the country, like a person is at the point of self-confidence.

I find that refreshing.

The benefits of a travel agent

We were supposed to leave for israel on the day after Christmas. That was the day of the big blizzard. Our flights were cancelled. Everyone was scrambling. Airports closed and hold times for the airlines approached one hour.

As it turned out, I had bought our tickets via a travel agent.

So I called jay and, well, he saved the day by not only providing expert insit and advice, but he did all odd the heavy lifting. It was huge.

I used to think that airline tickets were a commodity busine ss.

Jay press proved it isn't, by adding so much value that i can highly recommend him.

Jay Press
International Travel Exchange
215-332-2444
800-752-6050
www.israelnow.com

Benefits of kid travel

It is definitely tough traveling internationally with children. Jet lag, security lines, etc. But I will say this.

First of all, there is a lot of value in seeing travel through their eyes. New perspectives is one of the reasons to travel and kids do at for you.

Secondly, you oftentimes get to go to the front of the line.

Emotional Disclaimer…

One of the many things which the NFO does better than I is to express empathy for other people.

I'm working on it, but have a long way to go.

Typically, when the two of us receive an email from someone with any type of inquiry, I get it first and am happy to respond.

However, as I draft my response, there’s a voice in my head saying, “I bet I could be more sensitive, thoughtful, caring, and empathic like the NFO is.”

Of course, I have very little clue of actually HOW to do that, so I’ve come up with a hybrid approach.

I’ll respond initially by saying,

“Before I respond, I’d like you to imagine all of the thoughtful, caring, and sensitive language that the NFO would insert here about how much this means to us, how humbled we are, and how much we respect you, etc….yada, yada yada.

Now, here’s what I’ll say…”

and then I can just write it out.

Problem solved!!!!

It’s like those big disclaimers at the end of emails from lawyers, right?

Related articles

• On Empathy... (jer979.blogspot.com)
• Do Bullies Actually Lack Empathy? (psychologytoday.com)
• The Power of Apology (psychologytoday.com)
• Mike Robbins: The Power of Empathy (huffingtonpost.com)

The Antidote to Fear…Book Giveaway.

Since I’ve started my business, many people have said to me, “I’ve always wanted to start my own business, but….”

it’s usually followed by an expression of some fear of something happening (not paying mortgage, healthcare, etc.)

Now, fear is important. It’s what kept us alive in evolutionary times (as well as some cases today).

Sometimes, however, it is artificial and a hindrance.

Recently, I was virtually introduced to Dr. Srinivasan Pillay, who teaches at Harvard Medical School.

He’s written a book called Life Unlocked: 7 Revolutionary Lessons to Overcome Fear and, after reading it, I want to give it away to one of you to encourage you to overcome your fear.

What I like about the book is that it’s not super touchy-feely. It’s based in science and practical. He gives you straightforward biological explanations for why you feel the way you do…and then relevant, focused advice on what to do about it.

I like the approach.

So, here’s how you can win a copy.

1. become a fan of Never Stop Marketing on Facebook
2. Then, share your biggest (current) fear in the comments section below.

I’ll pick one (yeah, it’s subjective) and send it out.

This could be the first step in the rest of your life!

Cat’s in the Cradle…

Image via Wikipedia

Got a bit emotional the other night.

As usual, was working late.

Listening to my Pandora radio station.

Then, the song “Cat’s in the Cradle” comes on.

I’ve always liked it, but this time really listened to the lyrics.

Thought about my own son, Paco.

Man, this balance thing is tough.

Auto-Translate Brings the World Closer

You’ve probably seen this by now, but I still think it’s very cool…and a great sign of how technology can break down barriers of communication.

Now, when you visit a foreign language website using Google Chrome (at least…and I think in Firefox, too), it will ask you if you want to automatically translate it.

Israel Shark Conspiracy…

In case you missed this…

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Israel Shark Conspiracy
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor & Satire Blog</a> March to Keep Fear Alive

Harvard Defeats Yale 29-29

Great movie that is ostensibly about football, but contains a large number of life lessons.

Also, apparently the actor Tommy Lee Jones went to Harvard, roomed with Al Gore there, and played football, too.

Also touches on the ‘60s and American History.

Here’s the link on NetFlix.

The Year of Touch Devices…

Image via CrunchBase

The other day I reached out toward the monitor of my PC and tried to touch the Windows Start button on it.

Yep.

Then, it dawned on me.

My transition to “touch” devices as my primary way to interact with technology was complete.

A year ago, I had none.

In February, I received a “hand me-down” iPhone and, while I was late to the mobile game, I finally saw the revolution coming.

Then, in March, I received a Zune HD as a gift (don’t knock it, it’s a great device).

In April, I bought an iPad.

In June, I got a EVO 4G running Android.

Now, those devices (primarily the iPad and the EVO) are my primary and, often times, preferred methods for getting info, interacting, etc.

It’s definitely the case for my kids who are extremely adept at the iPhone and the iPad –here’s my 2 year old on it. (I won’t even talk about how they use Kinect).

I even jumped on the bandwagon with the Never Stop Marketing iPhone app.

As Eric Schmidt says, “Developers must think ‘mobile first’”. And I’ll add to that “think mobile TOUCH first.”

Steven Spielberg adds that it’s all about “making technology invisible.”  That’s what I think the power of touch represents.

As marketers, we need to continue to ask ourselves “what is the mobile experience?” “what is the ‘touch’ experience?” for our customers and community?

Breaking habits and paradigms is tough, but that underlies the never stop marketing mantra.

A Call to Men…

A powerful talk from TEDWomen challenging all men to think differently.

Doghouse…

Clever ad that was forwarded to me…

How to enjoy carpool..

With three kids, there are often days that require logistical sophistication on the order of an Iraqi invasion.

Add in other kids, booster seats, nap time, etc. and you’re looking at a supercomputer scenario.

When driving Maximus to a birthday party (he and two sets of female twin girls ), I heard all of the kids laughing and interacting with each other.

In Why Beautiful People Have More Daughters, the authors talk about how 50% of who we become is as a result of the people with whom we interact (an idea offered in another book I read called Herd).

So, as I sat there listening to Paco interact with all of the girls, I realized I was watching his development occur right before my eyes.

It made carpool a much more meaningful experience.

Playdate Milestone…

I figure the way to live without any regrets that I “missed” their childhood is to acknowledge the little milestones.

The other day, my youngest, Lakkanen, had her first “away” playdate.

I dropped her off, picked her up 90 minutes later. All went well. Took a picture and a deep breath. Just a small step in her development, but I noted it and savored it.

Paranoia, Evolution, and Business…

Cover via Amazon

When people ask me how my business is faring, I answer that “no matter what, I feel paranoid.”

“If I win a deal, I worry that I might get too confident and lose my edge.

If I lose a deal, I worry that it’s the beginning of the end.

I’m just constantly paranoid.”

For a while, my guiding light was a book by former Intel CEO, Andy Grove, called Only the Paranoid Survive: How to Exploit the Crisis Points That Challenge Every Company, but my new favorite book: Why Beautiful People Have More Daughters also offers the same advice, though based on data and evolutionary psychology.

As they write, “evolutionary speaking, it's good to be paranoid because it might save your life.”

I feel much better now.

Wait!! Who’s that behind you?

How to get people to give more money….

I know I keep blogging about this, but I told you, it was a great book.

My kids go to a parochial school and let’s just say, tuition isn’t super cheap.

We’re often approached by the school fundraiser/development team for additional contributions.

I’ve wondered about how this works, thinking most people already feel like they are paying a lot.

Well, in Why Beautiful People Have More Daughters, the authors offer a plausible answer based on evolutionary psychology.

“by contributing toward the welfare of other members of such an "extended family' or tribe, so to speak, you are essentially providing benefits for your genetic offspring, both distant and near.”

Not sure if the development team reads this blog or not, but it seems like the pitch can be extended from “help others” to “help your kids and their offspring” which could be even stronger.

Why are most suicide bombers Muslim?

Image via Wikipedia

While suicide missions are not always religiously motivated, according to the book “Making Sense of Suicide Missions,” when religion is involved, it is ALWAYS Islam.

The question: why?

According to Why Beautiful People Have More Daughters, there’s an evolutionary psychological explanation for this.

Well, actually two of them.

The first has to do with sex, or as the authors say “the absence of sex.”

Islam tolerates polygyny which means one married to multiple women.

Consequently, young men of low status feel increased competitive pressure to find a mate and have increased odds of ending as “reproductive losers,” i.e. no offspring.

The authors explain that tolerance for this in societies around the world leads to increase violence of all kinds, but while this is necessary to explain the phenomenon, it’s not sufficient, since there are plenty of cultures that tolerate polygyny, but don’t have suicide bombers (west Africa, for example.)

They then point to the line in the Koran that says a martyr receives 72 virgins in heaven for himself which provides the final motivation.

Faced with the prospects of total reproductive failure on earth and the prospect of a personal harem, young Muslim men of low status (and the data supports this) are most likely to become suicide bombers.

So, am I “very attractive?”

According to Why Beautiful People Have More Daughters,

“Young Americans who are rated "very attractive" have a 44 percent chance of having a son for their first child (and thus a 56 percent chance of having a daughter).

In contrast, everyone else has a 52 percent chance of having a son (and thus a a 48 percent chance of having a daughter) for their first child.

Being "very attractive" increases the odds ofhaving a daughter by 36 percent.”

Career Boost for Married Men: Work at Home

Image by Yasuhiko Ito via Flickr

After reading Why Beautiful People Have More Daughters, I realized that working at home is actually a competitive advantage for me.

According to the researchers, the research suggests that married men hit their “age-genius” curve peak at age 33.9, whereas unmarried men hit their peak at average age of 39.9.

The reason is obvious.

Married men, particularly after having kids, start to question their priorities in life and start investing their time in their family versus their careers.

Consequently, they have fewer opportunities for breakthrough insights to significantly advance their careers.

What’s more, they start saying “why should I be at the office when I could be at home with my kids?”

So, for someone who works at home and saves 2 hours on commuting plus have access to my “full office” pretty much all the time, it would seem that while I have less time than an unmarried man, I have a lot more time to devote to my business WHILE still devoting time to my family than I would if I worked in an office.

We Think Because of Evolution…

One of the most thought-provoking books I have reads in a long time, Why Beautiful People Have More Daughters attempts to take an “evolutionary psychology” view of life.

In short, we do things as men and women because for millions of years, those behaviors were “selected” for by evolution.

If you’ve read Freakonomics, you will thoroughly enjoy this book.

One of the more interesting findings was that women value their children more than men do.

You see, one woman can, realistically, have at a maximum, about 25 children.

A man, on the other hand, could theoretically have thousands of them.

As a consequence, women recognize the limited number of kids they have and inherently value kids more than men do.

Other questions which they raised and answered included:

• why does having sons reduce the risk of divorce?
• why do girls of divorced parents experience puberty earlier than girls whose parents remain married?
• why are almost all violent criminals men?
• why are women more religious than men?

They take a data-based approach to these questions (and are quick to stress that just because the data supports it doesn’t mean it’s an ideal situation. For them, it’s “just the facts.”)

Still, I found myself after every 2 pages or so, putting the book down to think about some element of their argument. It’s been a while since I did that.

Related articles

• Critique of Evolutionary Psychology via Psychology Today (compassioninpolitics.wordpress.com)
• Evolutionary psychology: Why daughters don't call their dads ... (molecularstation.com)

I created this mess…

The other night, Tonka wanted to get out of bed (it was late) and look for her American Girl doll.

After an initial look, she couldn't find it. So, I told her to get in bed and we'd find it in the morning.

Next thing I know, she send me the email below from her iPhone while in bed!

-----Original Message-----
From: Tonka Epstein [mailto:tonka.epstein@gmail.com]
Sent: Thursday, December 09, 2010 7:40 PM
To: Abba
Subject: Dolly

If you don't let me find dolly

You won't get your

Awsome birthday present

Sent with Love from my iPhone,

Tikkanen/Tonka

We’re all biased….

One thing I found interesting was how based on equally limited information, many people (not just those who commented directly on the blog) were willing to guess the race and gender of the police officer in this “probably a black or Hispanic kid” story.

“It’s named after Andrew Jackson…”

Image via Wikipedia

A few weeks ago at breakfast, Tonka, Paco and I were going over the results from the previous Sunday’s football games.

“…and Jacksonville beat Tennessee,” I said.

Then, out of NOWHERE, Jokinen says, “well, Jacksonville was named for Andrew Jackson and he was from Tennessee, so it’s kind of like they beat themselves.”

I couldn’t believe it.

Now, I know where Jackson is from, but I actually had to look up on Wikipedia to confirm that Jacksonville was named for Andrew Jackson (it was).

How he knew that is beyond me.

See, I told you that football was very valuable education tool

Related articles

• Tennessee Football Headed to Jacksonville for the Gator Bowl on New Year's Day? (bleacherreport.com)
• Jacksonville Jaguars vs Tennessee Titans NFL Live Schedule (footballtransfer.blogspot.com)

When you email your kid…who is 7

After I drafted yesterday’s post about Tonka, you know what I did?

I emailed it to her.

That’s right.

Tonka has use of an old iPhone (it’s only on wi-fi) and sends/receives emails.

So, I copy/pasted it and emailed it directly to her with a note “here’s what I wrote about you, hope it’s ok.”

Then, it dawned on me that I was beginning to have a new type of conversation with my oldest child.

It also dawned on me that she can now go back and read this blog. whoa!

Teaching Perspective….

A few weeks back, Tonka celebrated her 7th birthday.

As part of the festivities, we were going to have a small party for her class at school.

The NFO had asked me to drive her to the bakery to pick out a cake, but being the kind of person I am (feel free to interpret that as you wish) and a general aversion to retail experiences (unless I’m on a marketing research trip) combined with a drive for efficiency, wondered if there was a better way.

I suggested to Tonka that we look online to see if we could pick out a cake and just call in the order for a later pickup.

There were no cakes online, but there were cupcakes and Tonka agreed to having those instead.

What’s more, she agreed to ordering some for which she didn’t see a picture (the baker just told us, sort of, what was available.)

To Tonka’s credit, she elected to say, “hey, they are cupcakes and I’m pretty sure that, no matter what, they will be yummy.”

Instead of throwing a fit about having a cake or about having to see each and every one of the cupcakes, she said, “they are JUST cupcakes” and she was more than satisfied that the objective (yummy treat) would be met.

I was thrilled by her response and perspective. So proud of her for that one.

A “more perfect union?”

The other day, Nadia was listenting to her customized Pandora radio station and a song I had never heard came on.

It took me a minute, but then I realized that they were actually singing the Preamble to the Constitution.

Through the magic of YouTube, I found the song (here it is)

First off, I found myself getting emotional about it in a way that I never had before.

Second, I started to think about it, particularly the phrase “establish a more perfect union.”

What I don’t get is: how can something be “more perfect?”

Either it’s perfect or not.

Anyway, something to think about this New Year.

Pictures of India…

Ok, final India post (I think).

If you want to see some of the pictures, here’s the link to the 2 albums.

Agra
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=301158&id=582724668&l=5ad9532be9

Delhi
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=300506&id=582724668&l=b3a6c4d9f2

Electric Reaction…

One of the little quirks of visiting India comes in the form of electricity.

There are periodic power failures. The lights just go out suddenly.

What’s really interesting is how people react.

They don’t.

In the US, we all say “Aaargh! The power is out.”

We get frantic (or at least a bit) and we take notice.

In India…nothing.

Conversations just keep going as if nothing happened at all.

Mobile Innovation? Look to India

Tom Friedman had a great article a few weeks ago asking: “What if we are only at the beginning of the technical revolution?”

(no link, sorry)

The examples were of innovation in mobile banking in India.

Only 20-30 million Indians have Internet access, but there are 20 million new cell phone activations EACH month.

You see people dressed in rags…holding a mobile phone.

While there are certainly barriers to innovation (corruption being one of them), I’m going to keep an eye on the types of services that evolve there.

It’s one area where they could possibly lead the world.

India and Sustainability…

I’ll say this…after seeing the traffic, trash, and pollution in India, it’s more clear than ever that our consumer habits are just not sustainable.

Humbling.

Inches Away. Worlds Apart…

As I write this, I’m sitting in the back of a hired car on the road from Agra to New Delhi.

Using my laptop, moving pictures from my digital camera, creating blog posts, access to the world via my cell phone, and thinking about my kids using Xbox Kinect.

At the stoplight, a young boy comes up to knock on the window, asking for a handout.

He’s 8 inches away from me, but it feels like I’m in a different universe.

British Retrospective…

The period of British rule in India has traditionally not been viewed positively by Indians.

On the other hand, India has more English speakers now than the US, UK, Canada, Australia, and New Zealand combined.

And, because of the British Empire, they have been positioned to create much of the economic growth over the past 20 years.

It seems that Indians recognize this.

Proof (again) that sometimes judgments change over time.

Separate Subway Cars…

As I rode the Metro into Delhi around 11am, I spent a lot of time looking around, just watching the people.

At some point, it hit me: there we NO women in the car with us.

I couldn’t figure out why. I thought it had something to do with gender roles. Women not being in the workforce or what not, but it didn’t make sense.

I changed trains at the Central Secretariat station and grabbed a strap from the ceiling.

The subway in Delhi are multiple cars, like any other subway system, but they are more like those extended buses, where there is an “accordion-like” structure connecting each one, so it’s kind of like one really long train.

My car was pretty full which, given India, wasn’t a surprise.

I looked to the next car and it was sparsely populated.

I kept looking, wondering why no one from my car went into the next car, to get more space.

Then, I saw that every single person in that car was a woman.

In fact, the first car of EVERY metro train is for women only.

The lines at many public places (Red Fort, Taj Mahal) are also segregated and there’s a partition for when they do the full body pat-down as well.

India may be modernizing, but tradition is alive and well, too.

The Taj Mahal

Over 22 years, 20,000 different artisans worked on creating the Taj Mahal mausoleum to Emperor Shah Jahan’s third wife.

While the hype is huge, obviously, I didn’t walk away disappointed. Its beauty is exquisite.

Shah Jahan’s son had him imprisoned in a quest for power (the same son also had his 3 older brothers executed) and claimed that his father was wasting the money of the Indian taxpayer with a frivolous monument that was so expensive and ornate.

My guide and I joked that the son may have thought he was wise, but didn’t have the foresight to understand the international tourism business.

Perhaps Shah Jahan wasn’t just lovestruck, but had a keen insight of the long-term Return on Investment he would generate?

Corruption and Growth…

A few days before I left, there was an article in the New York Times about corruption in India.

So, I decided to investigate.

Turns out, it’s an even bigger problem that the article let on

And, I concluded, it’s what’s holding India back.

One refrain I heard was that “innovation doesn’t happen in India.”

Whether that’s true or not, the perception is that innovation happens in the West and then, when it’s mature, it comes to India for support and maintenance.

Then, the dots were connected for me.

As much as we like to make fun of lawyers, etc., the rule of law, property rights, contracts, etc….without these, you can’t reward and encourage innovation.

I knew that, of course, but it was reinforced.

An educated Indian here with an idea has too many levels of bureaucracy, graft, greed, and corruption to navigate in order to make his/her dream come true.

Ok, maybe a slight exaggeration, but from what I was told, you have to “pay to play” a lot and, even if you do, you still remain exposed.

However, it seems like corruption is endemic. The sense of “justice” that pervades in much of the West doesn’t exist in the same form here.

One Indian told me that there’s a connection to the Hindu concept of reincarnation. “If you do something wrong in this life, your payback is in the next life.”

What’s more, it’s clear to everyone that your first obligation is to your family…you need to protect and take care of them so, who cares if you take a bribe along the way?

That being said, there’s increasing frustration with corruption and the term for anti-corruption is “Vigilance” which seems to be picking up steam (albeit slowly).

Apparently, the Nov. 26 Mumbai attacks infuriated people (not just b/c of the terrorism), but because some suppliers of bulletproof vests to the police had cut corners thus causing unnecessary deaths.

Every now and then, I suppose it’s important to be reminded of the things we take for granted.

In this case, respect for the law.

So, go hug a lawyer. Lucky for me, I live with one.

Poverty and Numbness…

The poverty you see in India is heartbreaking.

Next to the 2 billion dollar metro system, there are people living in tents (if you can even really call it that).

People sleeping on sidewalks.

Kids covered in dirt, grime, filth coming up to you, asking for money or a handout.

You want to help, but after a while, you realize that you alone can’t solve the problem.

You have no idea how the problem can even be solved. (Of course, this assumes that poverty is a problem).

Hundreds of vendors, all selling the same thing for small amounts of money. Dogs (and people) scrounging through garbage.

You just wonder how it all works and how people make it from one day to the next.

I’m not a naturally empathic person (a blog post for another day), so maybe it was easier for me to step back and not let every image go direct to my heart.

Instead, I kept defaulting to the macro.

How does this society (assuming it wants to) begin to go about raising the quality of life and healthcare for its members?

What can we, as members of the global community, do to contribute?

What are our obligations?

But you keep coming back to the scale.

And you feel really small and insignificant.

Security in India….

One thing that surprised me in India was the amount of security…EVERYWHERE.

I need to ask if this is a result of the 26/11 Mumbai attacks or existed before that.

But, for EVERY hotel, every museum, famous location, etc., you walk through a metal detector, can be frisked and, in many cases, put your bag through an x-ray machine.

A veteran of Israel, I’m used to a lot of security, but this amount even surpassed that.

Unexpected Hotel Guest…

I had just checked into my hotel in New Delhi after a 15 hour flight.

After showering, I quite naturally sat down to check email, etc.

Sitting there in only pajama bottoms, I was surprised to hear my door unlock.

It was so unusual that I didn’t even move. Also, I was so tired, it probably didn’t even register.

The door swings open and there is a woman standing there.

No, she wasn’t naked or anything, but she was just as surprised as I was.

It turned out that the reception desk had told her the wrong room and miscoded her key card.

She was embarrassed. I was pleased that the hotel thought enough of me to send a woman to my room.

Just kidding.

She was also upset (understandably) about the security lapse.

The next evening, I got in the elevator and looked at the woman in it with me. “Hey, was that you last night?” I asked (sounds more X-rated than it really was).

Indeed it was.

Diane Mancene is a Senior Designer for Macy’s and comes to India to help get her designs manufactured.

She also is the newest member of the “FOJ” club (friends of Jeremy) and may, arguably, have the most unique “how we met” story ever.

New Delhi-No Expectations, No Objectives

In the month leading up to my visit, I tried to “get my head” around India, or as my dad might say, “India of the mind.”

I couldn’t.

It’s too big, too vast, too complex. The scale is just so massive.

Still, I had 3 days on the ground (one of which was work-related), so I figured I’d just make the most of it.

To do that, however, I had to bring my longtime travel philosophy back and recognize that, even if I were in India for 2 years, I wouldn’t “see it all.” Instead, whatever I saw, I saw. Whatever I did, I did.

What’s more, travel is less and less about the sights for me and more and more about the people I meet and learning their perspectives.

This post will be a bit more of “what I did” and expect a few future posts will be thoughts and observations.

In a unique twist of events that proves my quarterly email to my “FOJ” list is actually a good idea, I discovered that a former neighbor of my parents, Katrin van der Vaart and her husband, Bert, were living in New Delhi for 6 months and would be there when I arrived.

She graciously offered to be my companion for the day and arrange for a driver. What’s more, she put together an itinerary for me, but her sole conclusion was “you’re going to run out of time.”

I replied that this wasn’t possible, since I had no expectations and no objectives.

I was staying in a part of Delhi known as Guragon, which one of the centers of the “new India.” 

From there, I was able to take a subway into central Delhi and it’s phenomenal. It was completed within the past few years and it’s immaculate (unlike much of the rest of India), efficient, and modern. My favorite part?

They have outlets on the train for charging your laptop or mobile device.

Speaking of mobile devices, there’s something like 20 million new cell phone activations PER MONTH and it shows.

Everyone has a phone or so it seems.

And they LOVE using them.

Meeting Katrin in Khan Market which, I’m told is the 19th most expensive real estate in the world (though you wouldn’t know it from looking at it), we did a whirlwind tour of a few of the highlights, including India Gate (which is the World War 1 memorial to the 90,000 Indian soldiers who died fighting in the British army) and the Red Fort which was built by Akbar the Great in the 1500s (he, being the hero of India for his “modernization” efforts and the egalitarian way in which he treated Hindus—he was Muslim, among other things).

The Red Fort then was taken over by the British and symbolized the Raj period that followed.

On August 15, 1947 when India gained her independence, it was there where the flag of India was raised for the first time.

(No links on this post since I am writing it in the car as we drive from Agra back to Delhi prior to my departure and while I have secured mobile Internet on my phone a few times—mostly for fun—connecting my laptop seems to be too ambitious!)

India is made up of many different religions, including 150 million Muslims, so we stopped at the Jama Masjid which, I’m told, can hold 20,000 worshippers at one time.

Completing our religion theme, we stopped at the Haym Judah Synagogue where I met the curator who told me that the Jewish population of New Delhi stands at about 50 people (those of the Bene Israel) and another 100-150 expats.

They have services weekly and were preparing for Hannukah celebrations at the time.

My final activity was a “Marketing Meetup.” Through the power of social media, I had reached out and with the help of some locals, was able to have a 2 hour conversation with some very bright minds in the Indian marketing community at the Taj Mansingh Hotel.

Not only was it fascinating, but it gave me some great insights which I was able to integrate into my presentation the next day.

As you make your way through Delhi (actually all of India), you are doing it among an absolute crush of humanity. There are people everywhere. There are cars and vehicles everywhere.

There’s also dirt…a lot of it. And, an environmentalists’ nightmare…trash everywhere.

You see wealth and modernity sitting right next to abject poverty.

There was a guy on his knees in the middle of a main thoroughfare, begging for money. How he didn’t get hit is beyond me.

There is a love affair with the horn on the car as well. Close your eyes and it’s like a symphony (well, not really). More like a cacophony.

The movement of traffic is like a lava lamp. It flows, but there’s no real order to it. People and vehicles are  going in every possible directions, like a miasmic soup.

I’m sitting here, trying to think about how to do India justice in a blog post (or 20) and I find myself frustrated.

I keep thinking how, like Warren Buffet said, “I won the birth lottery” and how fortunate I am that my grandparents immigrated to the US.

I wonder about the challenges ahead for India. A country with so much potential in terms of human capital, but with hurdles the scale of which defy my limited brainpower.

Infrastructure, health, education, environment, waste collection, water. All of these things which are basically taken for granted in the US are very real and very pressing here.

My head hurts just thinking about it.

Which, I guess, is one of the reasons why you travel, isn’t it? Expand your mine.

Sorry. I feel like this is jumbled, but it’s just such a massive shock to the system that I can’t fully process it.

Still, I have to say, there’s something about Indians that I really love. The ones I’ve met (granted not at EVERY level of the socio-economic ladder) have a great attitude.

A great sense of humor, a willingness to chat and engage, a desire for knowledge, and a helpful kind spirit.

I feel so blessed that I had the opportunity to see this part of our ever-shrinking world.

What happens here in the future is going to impact ALL of us, so having a small clue as to what they are going through is something that I believe is critically important.

In the land of Outsourced

During my recent trip to India, I had to deliver a webcast at 11am EST. That’s 9.30pm in India.

To obviate any technical issues, I decided to go to the Microsoft office in Gurgaon (a suburb of Delhi).

Gurgaon is one of the hearts of the “New India.”

Driving down its streets, you see the names of pretty much every major foreign corporation that you can imagine.

When I emerged onto the street at 11pm, instead of a quiet area, I saw a bustling commercial area.

I met a guy who works at IBM and answer tech support for US customers.

This is where the call centers are. These are the people we all call during the day and who answer our questions (some better than others).

They are laughing, smiling, smoking, walking, talking…real people just doing their job.

It put a unique face on the whole Outsourced phenomenon for me.

Now, I can picture the people and the places of this globalized world.

Travel Made Easier…by Skype

It’s never easy being away from home, but now that my team knows how to set up Skype on their own (no help from NFO), it’s a bit easier. And fun.

Doing What You Love…and Getting Paid

Long time readers of mine (pre-dating the blog) will remember the guiding principlce of my two years in Japan and one year in Germany.

“Try to get people to pay you what you want to do anyway.”

It’s no secret that I love travel.

Love meeting new people and seeing new things. It’s a HUGE adrenaline rush for me.

And, while I could only spend 3 days in India (barely scratching the surface), I smiled as I thought “hey, I’m getting paid to do this.”

I’ve seen a lot recently about how values are changing and people are taking comfort in the simple things, plus reconnecting with their passions.

In reading a book called “The Presentation Secrets of Steve Jobs,” the author claims that one of the reasons Job’s has been so successful is because he isn’t in it for the money.

Do what you love and the money will follow.

I know it’s a hard leap of faith, but I’m believing in it more and more.

“Business or Pleasure?”

A number of people on the flight to India asked the same question: “Are you traveling for business or pleasure?”

I can’t tell you how lucky I feel to be able to say “both.”

And not just “both” as in I have time for both (though I do), but “both” as in “I love my job.”

I am very, very grateful for this time in my life.

Training for Jet Lag…

I resent all of those times when I was awoken by the scream of  a child asking for something and I would stumble out of bed to get it for them.

(Let’s not pretend that the NFO did it 10 times more often, shall we? I’m trying to make a point and be the hero here.)

On the flight/arrival to India, I realized that those nights of zombie-like sleep had prepared me for jet lag quite well.

I guess I resent them less now

Your iPad…at any angle

It’s really more than a stand and case, it’s a flexible rotational system. Ok, enough with the mumbo-jumbo.

Here’s the video, if you don’t see the embed below, but what you’ll really like about this product is not just that it’s a case, but that it allows you to position your iPad in almost any angle imaginable. Typing, planes, looking at recipes in the kitchen, business presentations, drawing. That flexibility to optimize your interaction with the device is what sets it apart.

Disclosure: I did receive a complementary copy.

They have cases for a whole slew of devices at their website: Zerochroma.com

Great holiday gift for the iPad-lover in your family.

Just some thoughts on the Zerochroma iPad case…

Charity Pitch on a Plane?

I was on a flight from Chicago to Delhi on American Airlines.

About 1 hour before landing, someone gets on the PA system and makes a pitch for UNICEF.

It lasted about 3-4 minutes.

Now, on the one hand, I don’t want kids to die of preventable disease.

On the other hand, this pitch struck me as a bit interruptive of my flight and certainly not inline with expectations.

Just not sure how I felt about the whole thing.

The Power of Facebook…

If you are still skeptical of the power of Facebook (and social applications, for that matter) to help bridge connections, here’s one small anecdote.

I didn’t connect with Jeremy at the airport, but I made plans to see Jon (who lives in Seattle) in Delhi.

Incredible!

Security at the Airport….

I used to resent the PLO for the advent of airplane terrorism and the requisite long lines of security at the airport.

I seethed at the indignity of the world they had created.

Now, however, I have a different attitude.

I still am resentful, but now I suppose I have moved into “acceptance.”

I also realize that the wonderful technology which I love so much has its uglier side.

And, I have to recognize that this is the cost.

I don’t know if this is a good or bad development, but I noticed the change in my mentality during my most recent jaunt through TSA-land.

It was a white woman…

backstory here.

Getting Old…or Responsible?

Every year on Thanksgiving Day, I play in a football game.

This year, a few days after Thanksgiving, I was slated to go to India for 5 days…for a (what I considered) pretty big business opportunity.

With the forecast of cold weather and rain, I wondered if the risk of illness or injury was worth it.

I’ve been sick on a 12 hour flight and it was a terrible experience.

I couldn’t decide if my debate about whether to play or not was being responsible or silly.

Am I missing the roses?

I really love my job.

A lot.

Love it so much that I enjoy doing it whenever I can.

Yes, I know it’s crazy and maybe difficult to believe.

I’m also lucky.

It’s like a painting on a huge canvas that I want to keep improving, tweaking and beautifying.

Every now and then, though, I wonder if I am missing something?

Is it worth spending all of that time on something that, when all is said and done, is ephemeral?

Should I be spending more time with my family? With my community?

Home Ownership Anniversary…

One of the dates that I mark in our family history is the date when we bought our first house.

Different than the birthdays of our children, at least for me, it represents a concrete, unchanging (for the most part) fixture representing a transition to adulthood and responsibility.

The other day, we hit 6 years in our home.

Just made me ponder the passage of time.

How much should you control creativity?

On the one hand, I want to encourage my kids’ creativity.

I don’t know many 5 and 6 year olds who know how to use Canola Oil, baking powder, sugar, and salt to make perfect cookies with NO adult supervision.

I’m at the point now where I can take a nap (while Nadia takes one too) and leave Paco and Tonka on their own.

More often than not, I wake up to some culinary concoction having been put together in the kitchen.

They cracked the eggs, put in the vanilla extract, mixed the batter…everything.

All they need me to do is put the stuff in the oven (they’ve already put it on a baking sheet-and applied the non-stick spray).

Truly remarkable.

On the other hand, they tend to leave a mess and use a ton of confectionary items (choc. chips, M&Ms, etc.) The floor is, shall we say, not the cleanest.

And, it’s up to me to clean it up.

I’ve told them that “clean up is part of baking,” but that doesn’t always work.

What’s the right balance?