Passed an important marketing test…

Helped my 3rd grade son get elected to class representative.

I was nervous, but fortunately he came through.

Truly team effort as NFO and his sisters did the bulk of the work.

Still, I felt my rep was on the line!

Teaching the Value of Work and Money

There have been some proud moments in my life, but one of the proudest came the other day when Paco got his first job.

Our neighbors made him offer to do some planting in the backyard and Paco really took the responsibility seriously.

He committed to showing up on time, being prepared, and ensuring that his customers were satisfied during and after the job.

He didn’t complain about it being too hot or too hard.

He just went out there, did the job to the best of his ability, and was beaming with pride when he came back with the first earned dollars of his life.

The value of a hard day’s work and seeing it through to completion.  If my kids can learn these traits, I’ll feel that I’m doing a good job as a parent.

As a parent, it’s difficult to ask for more than this…

Nadia has been reading a lot of books about historical figures. They are titled “Who was so-and-so?”

“Who was Elvis Presley?”

“Who was Thomas Jefferson?”

You get the picture.

The other day, she was reading the list of titles and one was: “Who was Michelangelo?”

She turned to me and said, “Is he related to Maya Angelou?”

When Your Son Throws You Under the Bus…

I picked up Paco from school the other day so he didn’t have to go to ballet with the two girls.

He came home, did some reading, hung out with me in my office and was generally fine.

The NFO had left instructions for dinner, which is normally served around 5.15.

At 5.45, I realized I hadn’t fed him and was headed upstairs to get him set up. I knew that if he was hungry, he would have just told me.

On the way home, I saw a text from the NFO, basically saying “hey, why hasn’t the boy been fed yet?”

I saw Paco and said, ‘hey bud, let me ask you. Did you tell Mom that I hadn’t given you dinner yet?”

“Yes,” he said.

“But were you hungry?” I asked.

“Not really.”

“So, is it that you just enjoy getting me in trouble?”

He smiled.

“Yes.”

End of an Era: No more nanny

In reality, we probably waited 1 year too long in deciding that we didn’t need a nanny for our kids, but that’s beside the point.

The other day was the last day where she worked for us and she had been working for us for about 7 years.

We’d had our moments, as any employer-employee relationship would, and certainly toward the end, when I started to question the value in my mind, the emotions changed, but when she left for the last time, I got nostalgic and even a bit choked up.

Now, I’m not the most sentimental or emotional person around, but when she left, I had two realizations.

The first-the kids are growing up. You know that, of course, but sometimes the reminders are jarring.

Second-and more powerful-was a profound sense of appreciation for her efforts. For many years, she was an instrumental force in caring and nurturing these babies into the children they have become. She had reinforced the NFO and my values and served as our proxy.

When they look back on their lives, they may not remember her, but it’s pretty powerful to think about how important she was to their lives.

I am feeling a true sense of gratitude for her efforts…and, yes, I wrote her a note to tell her so.

Humbled by my son…

On Sunday, Paco and I decided that we would go on an outing together.

I would run. He would bike.

We had ambitious of a long one. I was hoping for 9 miles.

Early on, we ran into some issues. The backpack he chose wasn’t so comfortable, so I had to fix that.

Still, it kept interfering.

Then, he elected to ride across the ford in the creek, which made his shoes slippery.

His feet were wet and at one point, he slid off the bike.

He started to cry and said his leg was really hurting. We were nearly 3 miles from home, the NFO was out, and we didn’t really have anyone to call to come pick us up.  From a close examination, I didn’t see any external signs of injury.

At this point, I was torn. I really felt the need for a long run. Yes, call me selfish and I was concerned that he wasn’t being “tough enough.”

I asked if we could go farther and he said yes.

Soon thereafter, I noticed another problem. His bike tires weren’t properly inflated, making the ride all the more difficult for him.

After a while, he said he couldn’t bike anymore.

Though I did  my best to hide it, I am sure he picked up on my frustration at having the “vision” of the outing ruined. Not really the outing, more like my exercise routine.

He offered to run next to me, but I knew that wouldn’t work, so I stopped.

We started walking in silence. I was wheeling the bike.

Both of us were just trying to deal with our emotions.

It was a really nice day (albeit a bit windy), but we were stewing in our own feelings.

At one point, he turns to me and says, “Abba [Hebrew for dad], I am sorry.”

My heart melted and I felt smaller than my 8 year old.

I immediately turned to him and said, “Paco, you don’t need to apologize for anything. I am the one who should be saying I am sorry. You’re more important than any run and I didn’t make you feel that way.”

From there on, we had a great time, talking about things that we never would have had he been biking and I been running. We both were able to look on the proverbial bright side.

I think every Father wants his Son to grow up to be better than he is.

I am glad that it my boy is on that path.

Kids in New York City

The mythic appeal of New York City begins at an early age.

Our kids were fascinated by it and, despite some of their other travels, had never made it into Manhattan.

We decided to rectify that by doing a short weekend visit to the Big Apple.

As always, the kid travel philosophy is to shoot for one major activity per day.

Day 1-Midtown Stimuli

The NFO had secured tickets to the Observation Deck of the Empire State Building, but since no time was specified and it was “first come, first serve,” we decided to make it our first destination of the day.

Originally, we were thinking of taking public transport in, by my brother-in-law, with whom we were staying in Teaneck assured us that traffic was insignificant. And he was right. We were in the city in about 25 minutes, but I erred in the selection of the best parking garage and ended up with a $48 bill for about 5 hours. Ouch. Including the “minivan surcharge.”

Anyway, it ended up being the right call…if only judging by the lines going out the door in frigid NYC weather when we exited. Fortunately, our wait which was about 1 hour or so it seemed, was all inside.

After a lot of moving, hustling, and bustling, we made it along with tourists from pretty much every other country on the planet, to the top. Not a crystal clear day, but enough that the kids got the “WOW” element for which we were looking and we were able to lay out the geography of the island and surrounding areas.

And, of course, we enjoyed their newfound perspective on height and relativity.

We grabbed lunch at a nearby restaurant and took it to the Sprinklr offices (which are 1 block away from Empire State Building) so we not only had a touchdown location, but they could see where I spend a nice chunk of my time.

Afterwards we walked up 5th Avenue so they could see of the Xmas decorations (they also had seen Macy’s windows on the way in), culminating with a visit to the tree and ice skating rink at Rockefeller Center.

Then, we took them through Times Square on the way back to our car.Transformative Moments Require Transformative Leaders

Bottom line: Mission accomplished. They got a sense for the hustle, bustle, and energy of New York.

Day 2-Bits of NYC History

Waking up to pouring rain, we knew we would have a challenging time, but we were determined to visit the 9/11 Memorial and the Tenement Museum.

The NFO had secured the “free” tickets beforehand for 11am and paid the “convenience” fee as well. We drove in, I dropped them off, and went off in the naïve belief that I could find parking for free, since I was still smarting from the $48 hit on Friday.

Good news: I was successful.

Bad news: I had to run for about 15 minutes through the chilly rain, only to get to the memorial and not be able to reunite with my family because of the snaking lines and security.

I ended up waiting in line for about 20 minutes, during which I was sandwiched between 2 German families, one of which was giving their kids a version of semi-revisionist history about American hegemony…in German.

I debated for a long time about whether I should interject and, surprisingly, I chose not to. I’m not sure why.

Anyway, as I neared the final checkpoint, the NFO called and said that the kids were very cold, the memorial wasn’t really open (save for two reflecting pools designed to inspire introspection) and that it was time to go.

I jumped out of line and ran all the way back to the car, so I could intersect with them and minimize their outside time.

Bottom line: I had a 30 minute run through the lower Manhattan rain to/from the Memorial. Oh well, another time.

The beneficial part is that the kids had a chance to see it and the NFO are pretty good partners when it comes to providing the perspective/education/background on things of this magnitude (granted, there aren’t that many), but the overarching important thing of having them have a sense of history was delivered.

We drove from the Financial District to the Lower East Side and stopped for lunch at the Shalom Chai Pizzeria and then to pick up bagels and bialys at Kossar’s.

Once the center of Jewish life in NYC (and, America), most of the Jewish landmarks are now gone…a sign of the times, I suppose, and judging from what we saw about life in the early 20th century via the “Sweatshop” tour of the Tenement Museum, it’s probably for the better.

Cramped, crowded, poor lighting and sanitation, really difficult working conditions, you really get an appreciation for the type of sacrifice that so many immigrants have made over the years in pursuit of a better life for themselves and their children.

Speaking of appreciation, my hope for our kids is that they not only appreciate what their ancestors have done for them to get them where they are, but also a better sense of appreciation of what they have. We’ll see.

The tour itself (and the very knowledgeable tour guide) were really first rate, perhaps my favorite thing on our NYC trip, even though the tickets were quite expensive. Yes, I know it’s NYC and everything is expensive.

Either way…well worth it.

It took a while to get out of Manhattan, with pouring rain and traffic, but we eventually made it to our heated-pool equipped hotel in Elkton, MD.

Day 3—Potato Chips and More

We also love seeing how things are made, particularly when there is machinery, scale, and automation involved (oh yeah, free food samples never hurt either), so we stopped by the Herr’s Snack Factory tour on our way back.

We want the kids to get a sense of appreciation for entrepreneurship and overcoming adversity (the founders), marketing (hey, what can I say), production, and where things come from.

Plus, fresh potato chips that literally are coming right off the production line never hurts.

Highly recommend it if you are in the area.

Headed for Home

Another trip in the books (and when you think about the fact that in 1 month, we’ve hit Israel and NYC as a family, I’d say we’re doing ok) and I like how our team is coming together. For the most part, we travel well. Like others, we have our moments and 3 iPads certainly doesn’t hurt, but seeing them ask questions and get excited about new things is why we do it.

Plus, with mobile connectivity, though one argument is “you aren’t focused on your kids,” the other argument is “it’s easier to take time out and do things with your kids.”

Balance, as always, is never simple, but I am grateful that we are fortunate enough to have to confront this particular challenge.

Israel in 2013-Hannukah in the Land of the Maccabees

Unlike my personal and professional life, I take a very laid back approach to travel, particularly with kids.

Long ago, in my backpacking through Europe days, I gave up on the notion of “trying to do it all” and instead take a mentality of “whatever you are doing, you are doing in <place you are visiting>.”

Now, that doesn’t mean I just sit in a café all day and work on my laptop and, of course, try to marry this with my philosophy of “do things that are unique to <place you are visiting>,” but it’s a balance.

In short, my goal is “one big objective per day” and then everything else is bonus. I don’t want the travel experience ruined by the “we have to get here” mentality and not being able to appreciate the subtleties of a location like “what are rest stops like here and why?” or “how do people shop?” and more.

Ok, enough background. On with it.

Background

We found the deal of the century on Turkish Airlines ($700 RT per ticket), which everyone universally agrees is a great travel experience, so I was of the mindset of “whatever we do in Israel, it didn’t cost that much to get us here “. Plus, between it being Thanksgiving time and Hannukah, the stars were aligned…or should we just say that yet another miracle occurred.

Base of Operations

One of the challenges of any travel scenario is establishing your base of operations. Fortunately, my brother-in-law lives in Hashmonaim, which is near Modi’in. The location is ideal, about halfway in between Tel Aviv and Jerusalem. The only downside is that Foursquare seems to think it is Palestinian Territory.

The Phrase that Sums Up Israel

I was entering the bank in Jerusalem and the security guard asked me a simple question: “Do you have a gun?”

I said “no,” and moved on.

But in that moment, you get a rich appreciation for the complexity of life here.

Agree? Discuss below.

Daily Goals

Day 1-Technology and Business

Knew it would be challenging because of kids’ jet lag (though I have to say they were absolute, 100% rockstars on the flight over. 3 iPads were deployed and the kids didn’t even get up once on the flight from DC to Istanbul—not even to use the bathroom).

As a result, the NFO was very accommodating in granting me one “business day.” Not only do I like this for the benefit of building the personal and professional network, but one of my favorite things in every trip to Israel is to understand how the Israeli business and technology sectors are evolving. As the home of Start-up Nation and the country with the 3rd largest number of public companies on the NYSE (after US and Canada), in my opinion, you can’t understand modern Israel without investigating this side of the story.

I was aided in my efforts this time by the indefatigable and unparalleled Jeremy Lustman, who heads up the DLA Piper office in Israel and is mega plugged in. He set up 2 solid meetings for me.

Israel’s prowess in technology based on military/defense needs continues (as it must) and I’ve long said that the irony of the ongoing Arab war/vilification of Israel is that its existence is what gives Israel so much potential and wealth.

Places like Herzliya reflect this. With the names of pretty much every technology company you can think of on buildings, it’s a testament to the recognition of the world’s largest companies of this reality. The proof is in the dollars.

What I also saw, however, was that Israeli companies, which historically have been very weak at marketing are starting to turn that around.  It’s something I saw a few years ago and I think is a reflection of the natural evolution of the country’s business leaders. More international experience in terms of management and understanding of the expectations of what it takes to survive and thrive.

Day 2-Jerusalem of Gold

No trip to Israel is complete without a trip to Jerusalem, the ancient and modern capital of the Jewish state and the epicenter of Judaism as a religion.

Still, that emotion is overcome by the fact that, well, it’s really a hassle getting in and out of town by car. Still, we deal with it, right?

We stopped at Mahane Yehuda, the big, open air market, where all types of fruits, vegetables, fish, and more are sold. While the NFO and the kids walked through there, I was able to meet up with some longtime friends on Ben Yehuda (the main pedestrian mall) including Noa Choritz, Neil Gillman, and Gil Kezwer. 

I like maintaining relationships…that’s no secret, but I love hearing the diverse perspectives of those who have lived here for a while. Some have become more right-wing (though I heard the best statement of all time from Gil’s wife, Randi who said, “I have become more right wing but I realize that it takes both wings to fly.”)

People and walking…those two things are fail safe ways to enjoy any trip anywhere.

After a short lunch at the Village Green (great vegan/vegetarian food), we set off on foot to the Old City, making our way down through the Shuk (market), we arrived in mid-late afternoon at the Western Wall, Judaism’s holiest site and the last remnant of the 2nd Temple.

For many, it’s a spiritual place and a time for reflection. My last few visits there didn’t really hit that high mark for me. This time, after stuffing a special note into the Wall, as is the custom, my nephews, Paco, and I were sitting on some chairs watching people do their thing and I had a moment of spirituality myself, one where I felt the weight of Jewish history on my shoulders. I felt like I had to impart some of a sense of history, as my friend Jen Pearlman says “of living vertically,” so that these boys would really understand why this place was of special importance and why it needed to be protected and defended.

An awesome feeling indeed and I did my best. A different type of spirituality, outside of myself, I suppose.

One of the things that always strikes me about Israel, but Jerusalem in particular is how you see Arabs going about their daily business and…no one really cares. They are a part of the fabric of life here. It’s stark primarily because of the opposite situation. I believe you would be hard pressed to find the capital of an Arab country where you would see religious Jews openly identifying themselves and walking with zero concern for their personal safety.

Day 3 and 4-Take It Easy

As Day 3 and 4 were Friday/Saturday, things tend to be a bit slower (well, hectic leading into the Sabbath) and then quiet (depending on where you are) on the actual Sabbath. We took the kids to a local park and then had a great time with my brother-in-law and his family.

Day 5-Go North, Young Man.

On this trip, I was determined that my kids learned that there was more to Israel than Jerusalem and Tel Aviv. On our previous visit, we had planned to go South, but, well, there was a war with Gaza, so we couldn’t do that.

This time, we thought our luck would be better in the North, so we went to Tiberias, on the Sea of Galilee (the lowest freshwater lake in the world), having a nice lunch on the promenade. On the way, we were struck by the beauty of the open land around it, the rolling, rocky hills and the agricultural wonder that has occurred there in the past 60 years.

Tiberias is one of the 4 holy cities of Judaism (Hebron, Safed, Jerusalem) and was the place where the Talmud (Jerusalem version) was codified because Jews couldn’t live in Jerusalem following the Bar Kokhba rebellion against the Romans in 135.

Unfortunately, for a city that has so much to offer, it really shows its age. It’s like the city got left behind by time and is stuck in the 1960s. What’s worse, in my opinion, it seems like they are leaving a ton of money on the table since the place is a mecca for Christian pilgrims (yes, I get the multi-religious semi-pun) because of the proximity of Nazareth, the miracle of the fishes, sermon on the mount, etc.

It’s a shame.

But not nearly as big of a shame as what happened to the tomb of Maimonides. Arguably the greatest Jewish mind of all time, he is buried in this city in a glorious tomb.

I was there about 20 years ago and it was marvelous and spiritual. Now, there’s a massive iron sculpture above it (which isn’t so bad), but the travesty is a white Home Depot-like fence that splits it down the middle and serves as the divider between men and women (since people tend to come and pray at his grave).

Now, I get that men and women are supposed to be separate during services and I’m ok with that, but this is a freaking grave…not a synagogue and the morons who put this piece of crap have turned a beautiful piece of art into nothing more than a utility. The opposite of how it should be.

It’s kind of like splitting the Mona Lisa down the middle and saying “ok, you can look at half the canvas and you’ll appreciate Leonardo just as much.”

Ugh. Embarrassing and silly.

Not that I don’t understand the reasons for why the fanatics who did this, did this. It’s just that I don’t agree with it at all.

That night, we stayed in a quaint Zimmer-style cabin near Moshav Zippori (itself a historic place). I really liked it.  Relaxing, peaceful…and great wi-fi.

Day 6-Onto the Heights

When you see the Golan Heights up close and think about the military challenges that faced Israel in the 1967 war, you can’t help but be in awe that they were able to accomplish what they did.

Today, the vistas are breathtaking (even with the fences that identify live minefields), but under heavy fire? Going uphill?

Are you kidding me?

Once you get to the top though, it’s like the Great Plains…flat, peaceful, few trees, serene. I felt so at peace when we arrived in Avnei Eitan, a cooperative of about 100 families calmly situated in, well, the middle of nowhere…and about 10km from the Syrian border. 

The reason for our visit to this outpost was the “Automatic Dairy” where the cows go through a machine called the “Astronaut” which is, well, just fantastic.

Each cow had an RFID chip around its neck and it enters a massive machine 3 times per day. The chip tells the machine which cow it is. The machine knows things such as how much milk the cow gave last time and the entire history of the cow. Frankly, it’s and Electronic Medical Record for each cow (they can do it for cows, just not healthcare.gov website).

The cow is on a scale, so the weight is recorded and the proper amount of food is distributed.

Meanwhile, 4 suction cups are attached to the udder of the cow but only after the teats have been cleaned with a brush (like a car wash) and their exact location targeted and pinpointed by laser. As each of the 4 compartments are drained, the suction cup drops away until all are done. The teats are washed with some anti-biotic spray and the gates open (even if the cow isn’t finished eating). Precisely 17 seconds later, a shock is delivered in order to encourage the cow to leave.

Of course, after the first few times, all of the cows leave at the 15 second mark. No muss, no fuss.

This technology, which costs about $150,000 has enabled the dairy to move from 10 cows to 75 with very limited additional increase in manpower. In fact, our tour guide told us that now she is able to leave the dairy, which she wasn’t able to do before (or someone had to be there) and they can manage/measure the entire process…from their iPhones!

I loved this tour as it reflects the ingenuity and spirit of innovation that is Israel.

On the way up to the Heights, I was telling the kids about the history of the 1967 War and the challenges of scarcity/resource allocation and how “necessity is the mother of invention.” (I also introduced them to the Knesset-Israeli parliament process and they quickly understood why it was such a challenge!)

The machine isn’t Israeli-made (it’s Dutch), but the point was made and they saw how the operation of the dairy could scale because of technology (something I am always happy to have them see!)

Gamla-The afternoon took us to Gamla, aka “The Masada of the North,” a secluded location that served as a refuge for Jews who were trying to escape Roman persecution. Tragically, the 9,000 people there all died, choosing suicide instead of slavery at the hands of the Romans when their situation became desperate.

We took a moment to hear from my brother-in-law about this time in Jewish history while on a 1 hour long like over the hills and terrain, absolutely breathtaking and well worth it. Joined by a longtime friend, Shmuel Goldman-a resident of the Golan-we had a chance to just soak in the earth.

Over 20 years ago, before a trip to Israel, a family friend gave me her advice about how to experience it. To this day, I remember it: “Walk the Land.”

And I do, every time I am here.

Other Observations

1. New Highway 6 is great.
2. A few people talked about Iran. No one talks about the Palestinians.
3. I still can’t understand why coffee from pretty much any shop in Israel is better than most places in US. Certainly better than Starbucks (which isn’t in Israel, btw. They gave up and left due to strength of coffee culture).
4. I popped a Golan SIM card into my Nexus 4 and had connectivity everywhere. Great stuff.
5. Waze is even better in Israel because EVERYBODY uses it. Really helpful for crowdsourcing traffic.
6. As some of you know, I enjoy checking in on Foursquare. Not only can I find friends and suggestions in the area, but it’s a diary for where I go. I was a bit disappointed to see that the Golan Heights, according to them, are part of Syria and Hashmonaim, where my brother-in-law lives is part of Palestinian Territory.

No need to worry…I sent the issue along. We’ll see what happens.

Ok, I cranked this out all in one day. Random stuff that I will realize that I forgot and report on last few days to come.

Resilience

Beginning way back in 1998 when I read the book “Adversity Quotient,” I’ve settled on the idea that one of the key determinants for success (beyond talent and skills, etc.) is RESILIENCE.

The ability to dig deep, leave it all on the field, never give up, push on in the face of tremendous odds.

For me, the Tough Mudder was just a practice run for that in real life.

The latest book to drive that home came to me courtesy of my wonderful (seriously) mother-in-law.

It is called The Unthinkable: Who Survives When Disaster Strikes - and Whyand provides anecdotes and evidence about why, ultimately, it’s resilience that matters when a disaster (9/11, Katrina, etc.) occurs.

Do you believe you will make it?

Have you thought about it in the past and previously practiced/convinced yourself that you will make it?

These are critical factors and traits I hope to instill in my kids. That’s why I was super proud when I saw Paco’s basketball camp report card…and the praise he got for pushing as hard as he did.

Shooting, dribbling, etc. All of that comes…but grit. That has to be cultivated.

And it seems like there is a good reason why.

Big Finish

Sometimes you just have to document the funny moments.

I took the girls to the pool the other day and Nadia was enjoying jumping off the side, spread-eagled into the water before swimming over to me.

I told her, “ok, two more.”

She did one, climbed out of the pool and announced, “Time for the BIG FINISH!!”

She’s 5.5.

Good stuff.

Southern Road Trip: A Study of Slavery

For this winter’s road trip, we decided to give our kids a small taste of the South.

After an overnight in Fayetteville, NC (which I found out was named for General LaFayette and was set up by merchants in Wilmington, NC as a defensive measure against the port of Charleston), we drove down to the Palmetto state.

Our first stop was Magnolia Plantation where we placed the emphasis on teaching the kids about the history of American slavery. We covered topics ranging from human rights to economics to agriculture and more.

The NFO did a phenomenal job of making the story of slavery personal by connecting it to the story of the Exodus, with which the kids are familiar, of course.

We had a nice Southern moment when we went to buy our tickets. Paco had to use the bathroom desperately and, without batting an eye, the woman at the cash register willingly let us in so he could use it and then return afterwards to buy our tickets. Sure, we didn’t have our stickers indicating we had paid, but I could see many scenarios where people would not have let this happen.

The bulk of our time/tour was in the former Slave cabins on the plantation and it was just tough to imagine having 6, 9, or 12 people in one of those homes. It was about 45 degrees when we were there and I imagined how unpleasant it must have been to have winter days and nights in this rickety house with no insulation warmed only by a small fire.

From there, the conversation (by a first-rate guide) took us through 570 years of history in about 25 minutes. While the kids may not have gotten everything, they understood that having 600 people crammed into the hold of a cargo ship, lying horizontal for 7-10 days at a time when it was built for 450 (not that that was a good situation either) would be miserable.

In short, I think they felt a bit of empathy…which was the ultimate point.

Aside from that, the grounds were glorious. The gardens had a great deal of attention paid to them and the kids enjoyed the garden maze.  You really felt a sense of relaxation, away from it all, surrounded by nature’s beauty.

It’s like keeping two ideas in your head at the same time…the beauty of the grounds, but built on the injustice that was slavery.

But, we take these trips to confront these dilemmas and the cognitive dissonance.

Our travels continue tomorrow as we go to Fort Sumter…the site of the beginning of the Civil War.

My 4.5 Year Old Prefers Decaf

Nadia came down to my office the other day. She looked at my coffee and said, “can I have some?”
It was 6pm and whereas I’d give her a small sip earlier in the day, I didn’t want to take any chances, so I said, “Sorry, no.”
“Ok,” she replied, “can I have some Decaf?”
I chuckled…and made her some.

4 Year Old Practical Joker…

The other day, I was home with Paco and Nadia. We were expecting a friend (one they both know) to stop by and pick up a package.

I ran downstairs and said to Paco “If David shows up, you can open the door for him.”

When I came upstairs, Paco was standing at the door.

“Is David here?” I asked.

“No,” he said, “but I heard a knock.”

We both walked away.

Then, we heard another knock, but out of the corner of my eye, I saw Nadia scampering into the other room, hide behind the couch and start laughing.

After I confronted her, she fessed up.

“I knocked on the door and was hiding!!!”

How many more Tea Parties?

The other day, Tonka (7.5 years) had a friend over for a play date.

Afterwards, I saw their American Girl-centric Tea Party and I found myself wondering, as a proxy for ‘they grow up so fast,’

How many more Tea Parties will she have before she’s “too old” for them?

Developmental Inflection Point…

Image by jer979 via Flickr

We become who we are, in large part, because of our siblings (if we have them).

The other night, as Paco spent his first night in his new room, by himself, I thought about how, until now, his life had been very intertwined with Tonka’s.

Now, it takes a slightly divergent path.

Same with her (and Nadia, of course).

Just appreciating the turn in the road.

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Kids at Midnight: Constellation Outing

Image by Computer Science Geek via Flickr

A few days ago, I downloaded the GoSkyWatch Planetarium app on the iPad and was showing it to the kids at dinner time.

I told them, “this is how you know which stars are in the sky at night and the constellations they form.”

The kids then begged me to take them out at night to see it.

I was shocked when the NFO said, “OK, but only if you go to bed right now.”

And, they did.

At 12.30am, I woke them up, took them to a park and for about 6 minutes, we examined what we could of the night sky.

We saw Saturn (we think) and we had a true Remember the Maine moment.

I was proud of the NFO and of myself. We knew they’d be tired the next day (and the day after that and the day after that) considering it was a Tuesday night, but we recognized that sometimes you just have to “break the rules.”

The kids were tired while we were outside.

They were cold, too.

I’m not even sure they will remember it for years to come. Here’s to hoping they do.

I know I will and I will look it to as a North Star and guiding light for seizing a unique moment in parenting to instill in my kids a sense of curiosity and of wonder.

After all, that’s my job.

Remembering FDR…

On our most recent DC-focused excursion, Kohlberg, Kravis, Roberts and I visited the (relatively new, by my standards at least) Franklin D. Roosevelt memorial.

Now, the kids (Tikkanen, Jokinen, and Lakkanen) have developed a fondness for presidents. If you go up to them and ask “who was the <insert number here> president?” they will tell you (unless shyness takes over.)

They have also accumulated a wide base of facts about the presidents (who the first to live in the White House was, who was so overweight he required a new bathtub, and more).

So, together with my sister, Dina and her husband and son, we took a Sunday morning visit to this new type of memorial.

Instead of “one place” like the Lincoln or Jefferson, this one is a “walk-in” and “walk-through” experience, taking you through FDR’s four terms. Each segment has a theme, inspired quotes, and a physical/visual element to complement the theme.

For example, the WWII section has rocks strewn about, representing the destruction of war and the 4th term has the new world order emerging.

As with most of these excursions, the objective wasn’t to have them memorize a set of facts about FDR, it was to help them appreciate the wonderful city in which we live, develop a sense of curiosity, appreciate the importance of history, and of course, have some family bonding.

This was my first visit to the FDR memorial and I enjoyed it a lot. Even more because of the company, the experience, and the memory.

Next time, we’re going to try and make the Lincoln Memorial.

Tonka: Only relevant emails, please…

As I mentioned, Tonka has use of an iPhone.

Until recently, she was the only one of the kids who could read and thus was a conduit for all messages to her siblings.

Paco, however, has been learning and, as a right of passage, I felt like it was time to get him his own account.

My mom didn’t know yet that he had been set up (it was still new) and sent a note to Tonka asking her to relay a message to Paco.

Her reply:

From: Tonka Epstein
Date: December 27, 2010 9:07:37 AM EST
To: Nannie

Subject: Paco

Paco has his own email just so
You know you can email him
and you don't have to email me
if it's something I don't need
to know.

Sent with Love from my iPhone,

Tikkanen/Tonka

From the mouths of babes…

The NFO was away for a day and a half this week (Wed-Thurs), so I was “on point.”

Thursday morning, it was my responsibility to drive carpool and because the NFO was away, I had to take Nadia with us to drop off Tikkanen and Paco.

Thing is, for reasons I won’t go into right now, the TWO car seats that we have for her were not in our house or available.

I wouldn’t say I panicked, but I started to get concerned. I started thinking how I could make this happen and hatched a somewhat crazy backup plan.

While I was scurrying about, Tonka said to me, “I want to tell you something.”

“Not now, princess, I have to figure this out.”

After a few more minutes of phone calls and machinations, she said, “hey, why don’t we just take the booster seat that nobody likes and attach the part from the basement?”

I stood there shocked.

She remembered what I had forgotten.

We actually HAD a car seat that would work for Nadia, but it had been disassembled to a booster for so long that it didn’t occur to me (or the NFO, whom I had consulted.)

Sure enough, that was the best answer. We did it. Problem solved.

I kicked myself…and reminded myself (after the kick), that “you know, my kids are pretty damn smart.”

My Kids and Presidents…

My kids are ENAMORED with the Presidents of the US now.

They both can name them all in order.

Ask them a question, say “who was the 27th President?” and they will tell you.

It’s ridiculous.

They go around saying, “I really want to go see the house of John Quincy Adams.”

In the car ride to the beach, they were quizzing my sister on Presidential trivia.

When she failed to answer correctly, they just plainly stated, “Aunt Kira, you aren’t very good at this.”

I had the chance to be a hero to my son the other day, as we went down the list of Presidents (again!) and he asked me if I had any connection to any of them (a visit to a memorial, a presidential library, an inauguration, etc…they all count. Even Mt. Rushmore counts).

But, when I said, “well, I have a picture of me standing next to Bill Clinton,” he said, “Let’s go look at it RIGHT NOW!!”

And so, digging through my scrapbooks (pre-digital), I found the picture from when I met Clinton while he was Governor of Arkansas, right before he went on to give a long-winded 35 minute speech at the Democratic National Convention in 1992 in Atlanta.

My son was impressed.