Canada, We Stand on God For Thee….

We didn’t have a huge window for a long summer vacation this year, so we decided we would do a 3 day jaunt up/back to Niagara Falls.

Our objectives were simple and two-fold.

1. Ride the Maid of the Mist
2. Go to Canada

It’s what you learn along the way that makes the family trips so much fun.

And it’s the little moments (both good and bad) that you create the memories that stick with all of us for the rest of our lives.

What’s going on in Canada?
As part of our ‘get in the Canada frame of mind” effort, we pulled up the Canadian anthem on YouTube and played it over the car speakers.

It was around that time that we learned that Paco thought the lyrics were:

“we stand on God for thee” instead of “we stand on guard for thee.”

Needless to say, we had some fun with this. Canadians being so dedicated to their country that they will trample God for it.

Also, he thought that it was “Bob keep our land, glorious and free” instead of “God keep our land.”

This led to a lot of speculation as to who exactly Bob is. Perhaps Canada’s gardener?

The Unexpected Twists

Nadia has had a bit of a string of bad luck recently. She had strep, then a viral infection of her chest. We had taken her to a few places (Right Time Clinic being one of them where we had a horrific experience) and it seemed like we were doing all the right things.

Still, she was obviously sick and wheezing a bit.

We had a nebulizer and were using it.

However, the first night in the hotel was just brutal. Nadia was coughing violently, having a hard time breathing, and it was keeping the NFO and me up.

I was up from 2-5.30, but that’s nothing compared to the NFO who decided at 5am to take Nadia to the Williamsville hospital ER.

All’s well that ends well, but it was one of those nights where you think “great, I’m on vacation with the family, I’ll get to bed at a reasonable time, and be somewhat well rested” and instead turns into an all-nighter.

Ah, parenthood.

The kids ended up having a great attitude, making lemonade out of lemons (and that’s a life skill, isn’t it?) and we went to the pool in the morning.

We didn’t get to Niagara Falls until about 12.30pm, but it all worked.

Simple Expectations and Bonusville

My philosophy of travel with the family is very simple. Have ONE objective per day. Everything after that is bonus.

Monday was “Maid of the Mist” and then whatever.

Once we did that (and we all had a blast, getting soaked), we were in bonus land.

I had brought passports, so we walked across the Rainbow Bridge (kids enjoyed straddling the border) to Canada.

It gave us a chance to talk about different currencies, why Queen Elizabeth is on the money, kilometers vs. miles and immigration policy.

The approach is a major stress reliever for me. You don’t need to rush. You just do your thing and then can allow the rest of the day to unfold.  I find it helps with keeping other people from whining too much as well.

And The Icing on the Cake

When we’re at home, we’re all not staying in the same room or same car for the same length of time.  The intensity comes from the proximity and you see how we all work together to solve disagreements or partner.

You see how the kids take care of each other as they get to explore the hotel or go downstairs for the breakfast buffet.

You get to see that, for some reason, they think the show “Full House” is one of the funniest things they’ve ever seen. They laugh at the show and the NFO and I just laugh at their reactions.

You get to inhale the innocence of childhood through them, knowing that you don’t have it forever, but that it’s glorious while it’s here.

And you get to talk about “that time we went to Niagara Falls and Canada.”

Even if we had 14 hours of driving and a trip to the ER while we were there.

It’s all worth it.

The "Ask Mom" App

Paco was looking for his shin guards before soccer.

I asked him to be a bit more focused.

He said, “I have a better idea. I am going to use the app on my phone.”

He’s 8…doesn’t have a smartphone.

But, I turned around and saw him dialing on the home phone. He smiled.

“It’s called the ‘ask Mom app’”

Sure enough, it located the shin guards for him.

The Dead Presidents—Ohio Day 3

I had one of those “oh wait, I think so-and-so lives here” as we drove through suburban Cleveland.


I saw the Cleveland Clinic and remembered that a friend from college-whom I had not seen in 18 years-Sandhia Varyani, lived near by. So, I called her and got to see her-and introduce her to the kids. A nice side benefit.

As much fun as that was, it wasn’t our primary goal when we stayed in Solon, OH (named after a Greek leader? I should look).

The reason we selected it was because of its proximity to Mentor, OH, the home of America’s 20th President, James A. Garfield.

The Park Ranger was first rate and very kid-friendly in the hour long tour of the home. Garfield, who only made it to Day 200 of his Presidency before he was assassinated by a guy with delusions of grandeur, was extremely well read. His library had over 5,000 books and he could speak French and German as well as reading Latin and Greek.

The Junior Park Ranger program gave the kids some great activities as they went through the house and they also got a sense of what life was like in the 1880’s. The “deep dive” was just what we had in mind when we visited.
2.5 hours later, after a drive across central Ohio, we found ourselves in Marion, home of the 29th President, Warren G. Harding.  While the house was closed (we still counted it as a visit), we did get to sit on his porch and read some facts about him from Wikipedia (where else?)

Harding was known for many scandals during his administration and has consistently ranked near the bottom of US Presidents. However, it seems like some folks are now looking at his stance on the 8-hour work day, women’s issues, and Civil Rights to try and portray him in a different light.

Like Garfield and McKinley, he didn’t make it out of office…though he wasn’t assassinated.
We stopped at a great park on a beautiful day. It felt like Heartland America in small town America. Very quaint.

After sufficient energy was burned off, we drove to Columbus where we had some Graeter’s ice cream (I had to go with Buckeye flavor) and then spent some quality time with my cousins, Lee and Shelby Nathans.

Our Holiday Inn Express had a mini water park (slides and fountains, etc.), so we had a chance to catch up over pizza while the kids seriously frolicked. The NFO is on point during our trips for securing lodging and she rocks it when it comes to finding a place with a pool and a fridge…so we got to swim every night. (I also helped the kids understand why I like hot tubs).

The next morning-and our final official activity on the trip-took us to COSI-Columbus Museum of Science and Industry-which is definitely one of the best museums of its kind that I’ve seen.  The exhibits were fantastic and the bonus was that we had a chance to spend some time with the NFO’s cousin, Bruria Martin and her kids, who are living in Columbus for 2 years (from Israel). Outside, the kids had the opportunity to sit in some tractors, which they loved.

The kids are at a good age now. A degree of self-sufficiency that makes movement easier. They can cooperate and assist and with the iPads, they are generally placid for the ride.
All of this makes the ultimate objective-instilling curiosity and a passion for discovery-easier to accomplish.
The theme of “visiting the homes of Presidents” makes it easy for us to get motivated and have a core focus.
Whatever it is…I would call this trip a success.

Halls of Fame and Presidents—A Summer Road Trip to Ohio

A few years ago, after a visit to Jefferson’s home at Monticello and Madison’s at Montpelier, the kids developed an appreciation for history and excitement for the Presidents.

Somehow, we came up with the idea that a worthwhile goal would be to visit the home (or some place) associated with each President (and, no, the White House doesn’t count.)

So, when we were thinking about summer vacations, we were using this as a criteria and we discovered that Ohio has connection to 8 Presidents (albeit, some looser than others).

Still, it seemed like a good idea and when we combined our love of football (a visit to the Pro Football Hall of Fame) and Music (the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame), it seemed like a manageable trip.

Day 1 took us from DC to Canton and with summer hours going to 8, we were able to explore the Football HOF with plenty of time to spare. The kids-all of them-loved the history and the interactive exhibits. Even the NFO got into the swing of things.  Any time you have tablet computers and videos, you’re going to do well…which is exactly what happened.

I stopped to pay homage to Joe Gibbs and explain some of the great moments of the game. I am proud to say that it seems to have worked.

Once we were in Canton, OH, it was a very short hop to the William McKinley Memorial and Library. The 25th President was assassinated in 1901 and it’s interesting to think what would have happened if that hadn’t happened…his VP was Teddy Roosevelt.

The Memorial is built on a hill with a significant number of steps leading up to it. Entombed with him are his wife and 2 daughters who, sadly, died when before reaching age 4. It included an impressive biography of his life as well. Adjacent to the Memorial is the Presidential Center which had a mock “street” demonstrating what life looked like in the early 1900s…printing press, saloon, and all.

There was a also a great Science Center which the kids loved.

Afterwards, we headed to the First Ladies’ Historical Site, situated in the family home of Ida McKinley. Alas, it was closed on Monday, but we did get a chance to visit the gift shop, so all was not lost.

Moving at rapid pace, we then visited the Harry London chocolate factory, part of the Fannie Mae family (and now owned by 800Flowers.com) where we not only got to sample some great chocolate (of course), we had the chance to see it being made.  The kids LOVED this in all facets.

They’ve been great travelers, minimal complaints, and enjoying most visits. Of course, family trips with iPads and GPS aren’t what they used to be.

Since the point of this trip (and really all travel) is to widen horizons and instill curiosity, we figured a trip to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland would fit the bill (and, let’s be honest, I wanted to go there).

While the kids only really knew The Beatles and Elvis Presley (they were surprised that Carly Rae Jepsen and Beyonce weren’t in the HOF yet), they still had a great time. Even Paco (the erstwhile sports fan) said he had more fun at the R&R than at the Football HOF. Go figure.

The most fun part, if you ask me, of any visit is asking the kids what their favorite part was and hearing the unexpected answers, but walking through the big mouth/tongue to the Rolling Stones exhibit did make the cut.

We did have to navigate the museum with some care as (to be expected) there were a few exhibits/comments that weren’t, shall we say, family friendly…

I don’t think the guys picked up on it and we were no worse for the wear. At least now they know who the Rolling Stones are and I think they also know names like The Kinks, Supremes, Stevie Wonder, the Who, the Doors, and ZZ Top, so I would consider it successful.

Tomorrow is our next big Presidential day when we try to get James Garfield in Mentor, OH (interestingly enough, he was also assassinated) and Warren Harding in Merion.

Father-Daughter Tea Party and Solar Exploration…

For the 4th year in a row, Tikkanen and I hosted a Father-Daughter Tea Party. Inspired by the book Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters, we decided it was a great opportunity to have quality 1:1 time and help her friends and their fathers do the same…and serve my special “extra cheesy Mac and Cheese.”

As is our custom, we went around the table and each father/daughter combination said 1 or a few things about the other which s/he appreciated. What was interesting is how the girls have become more comfortable speaking up over the years.

We also had some activities that included:

• decorating cookies together
• making souvenir t-shirts
• writing inspiring notes for each other on stickers
• painting fingernails (well, the dads didn’t get their nails painted, but hey)

These year, we also extended the party into a Solar City House Party, thanks to our pals at Solar City. Each guest had a nice tote bag, made from recycled plastic and we had an opportunity to talk about solar power (albeit not a huge amount b/c, well, 3rd grade girls and solar power are not necessarily the best combination, though it did look like some of the cookies had solar-inspired designs) However, the dads got a big of info and the packet came with a solar power worksheet, some napkins (“Go Solar!”) and a DVD…which we didn’t watch, I’ll admit.

So, this was the first year that the Tea Party had a sponsor and I want to thank Solar City for that. I have to say…from a branding perspective, it’s brilliant because now, with a highly competitive field of solar providers, I think Solar City is moving to the front of the pack in terms of name recall and awareness. Two of the dads are going to investigate for their roofs, so there you go.

Afterwards, I did take a few minutes to explain to Tonka about how solar works.

Anyway, that was a nice side benefit. The real benefit is spending quality time with the girls particularly as they get older, staying involved in a meaningful way, and showing them that it is in fact possible to have a good time with your friends even if the napkins don’t match with the tablecloth and when you serve mac and cheese out of a big bowl.

iPads on Family Vacations…

Image via CrunchBase

One of the things that I couldn’t reconcile was whether or not it was ultimately a good thing or not to have our iPad playing videos in the back of the car during our family vacation.

On the one hand, it kept fighting and complaining to a minimum. On the other hand, it kept them from absorbing the countryside.

We didn’t go full on videos for the entire time, trying to balance it to involve conversation and quiet time, but I did think about it.

Balance and Being Present

Struggling a bit with this one at the moment. Feeling a lot of tension from multiple fronts (macro and micro) related and recognize that, for the things that are most important, I may not be as focused as I should be.

Here's to hoping that blogging about it will begin to help with the modification.

How to get people to give more money….

I know I keep blogging about this, but I told you, it was a great book.

My kids go to a parochial school and let’s just say, tuition isn’t super cheap.

We’re often approached by the school fundraiser/development team for additional contributions.

I’ve wondered about how this works, thinking most people already feel like they are paying a lot.

Well, in Why Beautiful People Have More Daughters, the authors offer a plausible answer based on evolutionary psychology.

“by contributing toward the welfare of other members of such an "extended family' or tribe, so to speak, you are essentially providing benefits for your genetic offspring, both distant and near.”

Not sure if the development team reads this blog or not, but it seems like the pitch can be extended from “help others” to “help your kids and their offspring” which could be even stronger.

Ending Family Traditions…

A friend of mine has been going to her husband’s family’s Thanksgiving celebration for every year they have been married (over 10).

Last year, shortly after the holiday, we were discussing the fact that she never had the opportunity to spend the holiday with her own family.

She wanted to.

I suggested to her that she “hold on to that feeling” and 6 months before Thanksgiving, announce to the family that she would like to do something a bit different this year.

Otherwise, when it was too close to the holiday, she would just “cave” and end up going, despite her own wishes.

I should add that Thanksgiving at her in-laws is a BIG deal, with over 30 people from multiple generations and branches attending.

So, I gave her the strategy and she executed.

Made a note on her calendar and reached out to her mother-in-law, well in advance.

The response?

Not so warm.

Mixed, actually.

Her husband’s grandparents took it in stride. “Life happens, goes on” was kind of their philosophy.

Her mother-in-law was pretty hurt.

Her husband’s cousins were FURIOUS!

“You’ve ruined the holiday!”

“You won’t ever be forgiven!”

Now, many others have taken the attitude, “well, if she and her family aren’t coming, maybe we won’t” and the family tradition could be at an end.

On the one hand, maybe it was well past time for it to end.

On the other, maybe she (and I, indirectly) should have just left it alone.

My dad knows too much…

Image via Wikipedia

I’m going to Brazil in a few months and my dad who, was there last year, offered to sell me his Reales at the market rate.

It just so happens that I saw the Google News headlines and caught that a new President had been elected on the day prior, as a successor to Lula.

My dad quoted me a rate.

I glibly responded:

Check's in the mail. You are probably buoyed by yesterday's election  of Lula's successor, but I'm happy to pay for Brazil's optimism

My dad replied:

I don't know that I have a reaction to the election of Lula's successor. IF she remains oriented towards a free market and growth then okay.

Lula danced with the Presidents of some trouble-making countries. I don't know where the new President will go.

The economic policies that have brought growth to Brazil were put in place by Lula's predecessor, President Cardoso.

Lula continued those policies, though his previous history would have suggested a different course.

He called my bluff. Ouch.

Hi Tech Nephew…

My newest nephew was born the other day at 12.22pm.

As you can see from the clock behind us, it was only a matter of hours before my sister and I began educating him on the merits of various mobile device technology.

Mazal tov to my sister, Dina and brother-in-law, Eitan.

When everyone is sleeping…

One of the peaceful, most fulfilling moments in family life for me, is late at night when everyone (including the NFO) is sleeping.

Not because of the peace and quiet, but because of the feeling of serenity.

I think it feeds my sense of “provider” and “protector” and like Rembrandt’s “The Night Watchman,” I am kind of standing guard over the most valuable things in my life.

“Some women marry women…”

The day after I explained sexual intercourse to my kids, I was confronted with another unique challenge.

After 18 years (since high school graduation), I was going to see a good friend of mine from my early years. She was coming with her wife (they are married in Massachusetts) and their 2 kids.

Now, I probably could have let the whole thing slide and they would never have asked, but I guess I was on a kick of “keeping it real” for them) and saw that this was another chance to help them understand the world beyond the walls of our house.

So, I shared that there are some women who marry other women and that some men marry men.

They seemed to take it in stride and that was the end of it.

Of course, I’d be lying if I didn’t say that I was glad that they didn’t ask the question that put the two discussions (sexual intercourse and lesbianism) together. That would have been a bit much ;-)

Note: for those of you who are wondering, the NFO approved of both conversations.

Quakers, History, and Plan B

One of the things that Tikkanen, Lakkanen, Jokkanen (aka my kids) and I try and do is a special “unique DC outing.”

It’s such a shame to live in a great city as we do and not take advantage of all of the attractions here…if only for 1 hour.

The point? Inspire my kids to be curious and learn how to ask questions.

The other day, we had planned to go to the new National Capital Trolley Museum. It looked promising and we were exciting to ride the trolley.

When we arrived, however, we saw a sign that said “Closed. No electricity.”

Now, I give my kids A LOT of credit…they took it in stride and were not upset at all.

As they ran around the empty parking lot, I used the power of the iPhone “Around Me” app to search for other museums in the area and came across the Sandy Spring Museum.

“What the heck?” I thought, so we made the 4 mile trip and discovered something that I didn’t know existed…and learned something in the process.

The kids got to play with toys from the 1800’s, see a Model T, an icebox, and a hearth for cooking.

An area that was founded (and still heavily so) by the Quakers and covering 100 sq. miles in upper Montgomery County, Maryland became another little journey for us and 45 minutes (that’s really all we were there) when we could take the kids out of their normal routines, see some new things, and appreciate the world a bit more.

Pictured: Lakkanen (aka Gianni) writing on a slate.

Spot Interviews…Family Patriarch Edition

I’ve become a big fan of the service Cinchcast to record spot interviews.

My mother’s business (for many years) was conducting oral histories of family members for their descendants.

It was a big undertaking. Now, however, you can do it from your iPhone (app) or any phone.

Here’s my dad pontificating…

 

As if it never happened…

I was really moved the other day when reading Gretchen Rubin’s blog (full disclosure: client) where she challenged her readers to write about something as if it never happened.

If I had never met the NFO (that’s the codeword for my spouse), for example, I wouldn’t have 3 of the most amazing beings walking around my house teaching me how to laugh like a kid, how to cry as a parent, and how to think and behave like an adult.

I’d also be far less sensitive (that’s not to say that I am sensitive right now…just a bit more than I otherwise would have been.)

I’d also be less concerned with how my words affected the feelings of others. (Again, not a ninja master here with a long way to go, so you can imagine the impact that she’s had on me.)

And I’d be a far more poor communicator. (Do I still need all of these disclaimers? I think the point was I was like a neanderthal and now may be a Cro-Magnon or whatever the accurate move up the evolutionary chain is.)

Sometimes when we look at our lives, it’s easy to think that “this isn’t how I thought it would play out.” Or, “I’m stuck in a situation that isn’t what I want” and when we do that, we focus on the downsides, the challenging, the part that is unrewarding and we take for granted and ignore the wonderful elements that are part of the equation.

Not easy at all, but thanks to Gretchen’s suggestion, we have one step in the right direction.

BTW, her blog and forthcoming book (shameless plug) are called The Happiness Project and you can pre-order your copy here.

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Sunrise, Sunset...

Cover of Sunrise, Sunset

Maybe I am getting emotional in my old age, but the other day, I sat down with Gianni (child #3's nickname) to read her some books (she loves that, which is great.)

And I found a beautifully illustrated version of the song "Sunrise, Sunset" from Fiddler on the Roof.

I barely made it halfway through the book, holding Gianni in one arm, before I got all chocked up and began to cry.

So difficult to hold on to the moments, no matter how hard we try, isn't it?

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You Are My Sunshine...

The NFO was away last weekend at a dance camp, so I was on point with the three kids for 2 days.

But, it's not that big a deal. The NFO had made enough food to feed an army, my sister came over and helped for a few hours on Friday, I called in our Nanny for some Sat. morning tactical support, and we visited with my parents on Sunday.

Being alone with them, however, put me in the "days are long, years are short" mentality, since, well, I did have to be "on point" for the entire day.

It's easy when you are running around, non-stop catering to the whims of young children to just wish it would end, but, as luck would have it, the NFO had gotten a book by Harold Kushner called "When all you've ever wanted isn't enough" and since I'd enjoyed his previous ones, when I had 3 minutes to breathe, I read the first chapter.

He challenged me right off the bat.

"When asked what is more important, family or work, people invariably say 'family,' but their actions belie them."

He dared us to be present and focused in the lives of our loved ones.

And, since they are only young once, I decided that this weekend was the perfect moment.

So, yes, it was tiring, but when it culminated in a 3 person pile-up (Paco on the bottom, me in the middle, and Tonka on top) with a 15-round rendition of "You are my sunshine," it was totally worth it.

I felt the love from them and I took a mental snapshot, remembering them as they are now and holding on to that feeling, knowing that, before I know it, they will be all grown up.

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Mac & Cheese, Baby!

Under the "kids say the darndest things" category, here is my son sharing what he wants for lunch in a unique way.





In case you didn't get catch it, he said "Macaroni and Cheese, baby! Yeah!"

Family Relations in the Facebook Era…

So, I long on to Facebook this morning and this is the first item I see in the status update.

I think, “oh, how nice. A mutual friend is writing on my brother’s Facebook wall.”

Now, I know full well, at this point, that my sister-in-law is pregnant and due any moment, but I would have expected an email from my mom or my brother to the immediate family saying “she’s in labor, we’re going to the hospital,” or something like that.

I hadn’t received it, so it didn’t click.

Then, I scroll down further and see a note from one cousin.

Hard to believe, but it still hasn’t dawned on me…"maybe she has a new cousin on her other side” (especially since I didn’t know that my brother and his wife had picked out a name yet.)

FINALLY (and this is at the bottom of the page), I see:

I’m a lot slower than I realized.

Mazal Tov and welcome to the newest member of the Epstein Team!

(and no phone call or email yet…which I suppose I, of all people, need to be ok with).