Thanks to the suggestion of my Aunt Susan-who has stepped up big time the last few months in helping my mom cover the bases for caring for their parents-the Shiva remained at Poppy's apartment.
The Rabbis who helped establish this communal mourning period recognized that by having the community visit the mourner, it helped to reaffirm life and encourage people to go on. Poppy responded that way and was clearly invigorated by the social warmth.
Last night, however, he wasn't feeling so well and many people were asking: "how long until we are back here again?"
Obviously no one wishes death for Poppy, but the fact that, in his present condition, my mom and Aunt are basically in a "walking on eggshells" type holding pattern definitely puts stress on them.
Is it "better" (not to be flip) for things to happen sooner rather than later so "life can go on" or is quality of life the variable?
These are not easy questions, of course, and it's almost pointless to debate them. You just have to deal with it.
One thing that I did notice...Poppy has a nurse now and it's expensive.
What happens when the Baby Boomers get to that age and each of them requires that type of assistance? We just don't have enough people-right now-legal or otherwise (I would think legal would be necessary for Medicare, but who knows?) to help out.
Read a GREAT book a few years back called the Epidemic of Care
. If you're interested in the pending healthcare disaster/tidal wave/challenge, it's a MUST read.It talks about the challenges of our medical system and how (paraphrasing) 1% of the population consumes 80% of the healthcare budget and that 80% (roughly) of the money spent on your health will be consumed in the last year of your life.
We saw this with Nana as well ( see:$3,000 a month medicine... )
It's one of the great ironies of a society that has built such wealth and increased life expectancy.
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