Talking about the end of your life…

It’s very sad, but my grandparents health isn’t so great. Back in June (see: Preparing for Death I, II, and III), I wrote about this and in some respects, it’s a miracle of medicine that my grandfather is alive and we’ve had him for the past 7 months. And now, my grandmother, as well, isn’t doing so well.

I know that, to quote Raphi Salem in the NYC FOJ gathering on Monday night, I “don’t do things like most people,” but I’ll tell you one thing I’ve learned from this experience.

For the benefit of the people who love you, you’d be doing them a HUGE favor if you can get over the idea of your own death for a minute and tell them EXACTLY what your wishes are.

My mom and aunt are by no means fighting about my grandparents, but they are spending a lot of time discussing it. I think it would save a lot of time and stress-and allow people to just focus on carrying out your wishes and savoring the remaining time-if people had the ability to say what they did or did not want to have happen.

Write out a healthcare directive and/or living will. Take the time to tell a few people what should happen. Make some copies.

If you have the courage, broach the subject with an elderly parent or grandparent when everyone is lucid.

Death-no matter when it comes-is an emotional and VERY trying time, of course. Do what you can now so that when it does-and like taxes, we know it will-you know what to do and don’t start asking questions when it may be too late or your under a lot of stress.