Friendship criteria...

Von Clausewitz once said, "no plan survives the first encounter with the enemy."

While not as drastic, it is clear that elements of our Sabbath Invite strategy need some modification. T'here are some consequences as well.

The biggest challenge is that of "planned spontanaeity." For example, I had originally set aside Feb as the month where we would completely "play it by ear" and, as I joked, "affirmative action for non-planners."

However, we've created a structure where, for better or for worse, people understand that our dates are booked well in advance. As a result, we received invitations for dates in Jan, Feb, and March.

Jan and March filled up (we are blessed with so many wonderful friends!) and initially, I held steadfast on Feb as "blackout dates."

Eventually, when a few more invites came in, I realized that this was just rude (yes, I have a threshold :-). Was I suppose to tell someone "no" who had the foresight (ie: courage) to invite us so far in advance in deference to potential someones who might invite us?

That seemed a bit much (yes, I know there are those of you who think this whole thing is a 'bit much')

So, I broke down and began planning dates for the "Planned Spontanaeity" period. Which means that "Planned Spontanaeity"doesn't really exist anymore.

That also means that "affirmative action for non-planners" is a dead concept. Which means that, for the time being, we have set a criteria for the people with whom we socialize to be: an ability to plan and execute for social gatherings anywhere from 1-6 months in the future.

While certainly not our only criteria, it's one I had never thought of previously.

At another time in our lives (before or after now), it may be different, but for now, this is one of them. Odd.