Street Talk…

Paco has a fascination with streets.

He is always asking “Is such and such street longer than such and such street?”

He knows every single little street we pass on the way to camp, school, etc.

He likes the names and the numbers.

He talks about it ALL THE TIME.

Studies maps, etc.

It’s great.

Except Tonka doesn’t like it. She occasionally will ask him to stop.

He doesn’t.

And, as brothers do sometimes, he challenges her.

“Name 3 streets then!” he shouted.

“Georgia, Randolph, Connecticut…DONE!!” she replied. “Now, let’s stop!”

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My 2 year old on an iPad

While she’s clearly not a Jedi Master, if you still think this isn’t a big deal, think again.

Here’s the video

To Fly…through the years

The signature movie at the National Air and Space Museum is called “To Fly.”

It’s been there for at least 25 years (maybe more).

So, it was kind of a surreal experience when I took Paco and Tonka to go watch it on the huge IMAX screen.

I really felt the passage of time with that one.

However, I feel like I spent more of the movie watching their reactions than watching the movie.

But, when I did watch the movie, I realized how much and how fast the world has changed in those 25 years.

For example, they made a BIG deal about how international jet travel is bringing people closer than ever…and I’m thinking about how I had a Skype call w/Israel that morning…for free and how unfazed these kids are when they talk on a cell phone in a car….they take it for granted.

The movie is still inspirational and awe-inspiring in its scope, but it’s fascinating to think how many of the specifics they cite as “cutting-edge” technology now seem so commonplace.

 

Imitation as the highest form of flattery?

Paco and Tonka climbed into our bed the other night said they were playing “mommy and daddy.”

Paco takes my fleece nightcap (go ahead, laugh) and puts it on his head, covering his eyes (as I do.)

Then, he starts snoring. Loudly.

Tonka taps him on the shoulder and says, “Not so loud!!”

You Are My Sunshine...

The NFO was away last weekend at a dance camp, so I was on point with the three kids for 2 days.

But, it's not that big a deal. The NFO had made enough food to feed an army, my sister came over and helped for a few hours on Friday, I called in our Nanny for some Sat. morning tactical support, and we visited with my parents on Sunday.

Being alone with them, however, put me in the "days are long, years are short" mentality, since, well, I did have to be "on point" for the entire day.

It's easy when you are running around, non-stop catering to the whims of young children to just wish it would end, but, as luck would have it, the NFO had gotten a book by Harold Kushner called "When all you've ever wanted isn't enough" and since I'd enjoyed his previous ones, when I had 3 minutes to breathe, I read the first chapter.

He challenged me right off the bat.

"When asked what is more important, family or work, people invariably say 'family,' but their actions belie them."

He dared us to be present and focused in the lives of our loved ones.

And, since they are only young once, I decided that this weekend was the perfect moment.

So, yes, it was tiring, but when it culminated in a 3 person pile-up (Paco on the bottom, me in the middle, and Tonka on top) with a 15-round rendition of "You are my sunshine," it was totally worth it.

I felt the love from them and I took a mental snapshot, remembering them as they are now and holding on to that feeling, knowing that, before I know it, they will be all grown up.

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Liveblogging the Birth-1 year anniversary

Nitzahn (aka 'Gianni') is 1 today.

Join in the celebration by reliving the live-blogging of her birth (with pictures and video).

End of Innocence Moment...

We had some friends over for lunch the other day. They have 2 boys (2nd grade and kindergarten).

The kids were playing with our kids very nicely in the basement.

Today, I was asking Tonka about it.

She told me about the games they were playing. Then, she said that [names changed], "Michael tried to kiss his brother, Josh. Then, when Josh said, no, Michael gave Josh a wedgie!"

Tonka is 4.5 years old and she's talking about "wedgies."

Here we go....

Negotiating Skills

B-schools and law schools spend a lot of time teaching negotiation skills.

Whole books and libraries are devoted to the subject.

My suggestion. Forget it all and put these students in a kitchen with a 3 year old during mealtime.

Then, try to convince the 3 year old to eat a balanced meal.

If you can do that, you’re well on your way to the top of the corporate ladder.

Yoga, Yogurt, and Life's Lessons...

Had lunch with an old friend, Jon Landy, a while back and we got to talking about our kids.

"You know, it's not so much the formal education that I think about with them, it's the little things. From the 'stop and smell the roses' to how to throw a baseball."

How to impart your accumulated wisdom into your children is a big question. Which is why, the other day, I was very excited to see how Paco and Tonka had picked up some of them.

The NFO had a late night, so I got up with all 3 of them. I was feeling pretty sore and muscles were tight, but in thinking about my day, I couldn't see when I'd have some time to do some yoga.

So, since my kids tend to take their time eating breakfast, I said, "what if I take Gianni downstairs and do yoga while you guys are eating breakfast?"

Then, Paco said, "what if we eat at the table in the basement with you?"

And Tonka added, "and if we finish breakfast before you finish yoga, we'll just play nicely together!"

Now, longtime readers of this blog know that the kids can only eat in the dining room or kitchen unless we are watching football, in which case they can eat in the den...

But, it seemed like a good idea, so they had yogurt and cereal while I did yoga in the basement.

It showed me that they could think creatively, collaborate to a win-win scenario, and thought in terms of the Power of the "And."

The very next day, the kids had executed brilliantly in terms of getting ready. We had 30 minutes before we had to leave, so they proposed "can we go out and ride our bikes?"

I let them, which set the stage for the next few mornings of "deferred gratification" education.

I don't have an answer for Jon of how you actually go about planning for these lessons, but I suppose that, as the moments come up, it is our job as parents to extract the larger point from the small example.

Steps Toward Independence…

Most of parenthood is a blur of diapers, cleaning, and running around.

Every now and then, however, you realize that your kids are growing up.

Appropriately enough for Father’s Day, I took Tonka and Paco to their first swimming lessons of the season this morning.

Paco, for the first time ever.

Tonka, without any parent accompanying her.

They both did great…and I took a deep breath, if only for a second, and appreciated the slight push I gave them towards standing on their own two feet (or swimming on their own as the case may be).

My perspective hasn’t changed since last year, just gotten deeper.

Gianni's Theme Song...

With a call out to Roee Ruttenberg, the first of my kids to have her own theme song.

Sing it..."we're Giannin"

----------------
Now playing: Bob Marley - Jammin'
via FoxyTunes

Public, Private, and Your Kids...

People often remark to me about how comfortable I am sharing "personal" information online.

Or that I don't have too many "private thoughts."

All I can say after watching Growing Up Online (watch it online) is

YOU AIN'T SEEN NOTHING YET

It's a fascinating documentary (the wife of a friend of our family made it) about the world of teenagers online.

Technology is a double-edged sword and the scary stuff (Catch a Predator, etc.) sells, of course.

But, if you have kids coming of age now, even though you may not feel comfortable sharing a lot, you'll need to understand that your kids and their friends will.

You can't resist it. The world has changed too much.

You can't prevent it either.

The "ah hah" moment for me was when one kid said, (though I saw this happen in STL last month)

"I don't like my mom looking over my shoulder, so I just log on from my friends house"

Duh!

At the end of the day, we all need to arm our kids with good judgment and a reason to trust us when things inevitably go wrong.

My recommendation: take the hour to watch this one.

Japan, Friendships, and Parenting Neuroses...

Living in Japan as a young single guy was a lonely experience at times.

The then rabbi of the synagogue, Carnie Rose, and his wife, Paulie became some of my most cherished friends. They offered hospitality, an open mind, a ear to listen, good cooking, and true friendship.

In the ten intervening years, our paths have crossed on a few occasions. In New York, at my wedding (Carnie signed the ketubah), and this week in St. Louis.

The nameless one and I are the godparents to their third child (Yes, I insisted that he call me "Godfather") though we hadn't really had a chance to bond until Monday. [here's a pic of the boy]

Watching their brood grow (I was the first person besides the parents to see their first child after she was born...I trekked out to the hospital in Tokyo that night) is an experience from which I get much joy.

And trepidation...

I saw the two oldest kids showing Paulie a video they had been shown at a friend's house "Kosher Boy" which in and of itself wasn't terrible, but raised a whole series of questions.

In my house...to some extent, things can be controlled.

But what happens when your kids go to their friends? And those friends have older siblings?

It's enough to make a parent pull his hair out. I live on the Net so I know the scary stuff that is out there.

Ironically enough, I got some perspective from Joanne, the Avis shuttle driver at the airport who shared with me how she has built a two-way relationship with her kids (19, 17, and 14) by starting a conversation based on trust from a very early age.

As a result, they feel comfortable telling her things.

And I can see that Carnie and Paulie (no surprise) have accomplished much of the same with their four.

Years ago, they inspired me in the way they built community, relationships, and trust with the dispersed Jews of Tokyo.

Now, in the Midwest, they continue to inspire...albeit on a different track.

One of the reasons why I spend so much time staying in touch with people is to gain the perspective that only comes from interactions over time.

(And on a side note, I got to play the Nintendo Wii for the first time...VERY cool!)

On Football...

In the Minneapolis airport on Sunday, we had an opportunity to watch part of the Colts-Chiefs game.

"Paco, do you want the white team or the red team?"

"The red team!"

"Tonka, which team do you want?"

"Whichever team is winning!"

At least she won't be disappointed....

Incentives and Bribes...

People respond to incentives. 3 year olds are no different.

Saturday afternoon, Paco had just gone down for a nap. I was about to.

I said to Tungsten (aka Tonka), "I'll give you 3 pieces of gum if you
take a nap now."

"A long nap or a short nap?"
[a short nap means she just lies on her bed. A long nap means she actually
sleeps.]

"A long nap."

"4 pieces!" she said..

"Deal."

That made everyone in the house very happy (including me...the girl is learning how to negotiate and wheel and deal.) And she did.

Sunday morning, she came into my room at 6:15am. She knows she is not supposed to show up until her clock says "7 or 8."

I offered her 3 pieces of gum to go downstairs and get herself some yogurt and cheese (her breakfast of champions.).

She agreed.

Later, I realized, that was a bad call. She should be doing that anyway.

I explained to Tungsten.

"I'll pay up since I promised I would, but from now on, you will not get
bonuses or incentives for doing 'your job,' you will when you go above and
beyond."

No more bribes, just an incentive-based compensation structure.

Insight into Americana

Took a day trip to the Baltimore and Ohio Railroad Museum with the kids and my nephews the other day.

Not only is the old roundhouse building restored beautifully, but the activities for the kids were engaging. Of course, who wouldn't have fun climbing all over trains, right?

As a history buff, it was very exciting to see (and tell the kids a bit) about how the development of the American economy depended so much (and to a certain extent still does) on the railroad. But, these kids, with the exception of a few Metro rides know nothing of actual trains. They've been on a number of planes, but their worldview is quite different.

Nevertheless, if you are in Baltimore, it's worth a visit...a unique part of American history and culture is captured there.