On Wearing a Tie...

When I lived in Frankfurt in 1996, I was befriended by the Lisker family there. The man of the house, Shimshon, was a straight-talker.

I remember one conversation when I told him that "I wanted a job where I never had to wear a tie."

"You'll change your mind," he said.

Well, I've come around.  Thanks in part to the fact that I've had the good fortune of coming into some nice clothes from Poppy and a few nice ties as well (thanks, Stewart), plus the overarching recognition that the little details do matter...

Let's just say that the strategic deployment of neckwear as a brand-builder is something I've come to appreciate.

Shimshon-you were right.

Japan, Friendships, and Parenting Neuroses...

Living in Japan as a young single guy was a lonely experience at times.

The then rabbi of the synagogue, Carnie Rose, and his wife, Paulie became some of my most cherished friends. They offered hospitality, an open mind, a ear to listen, good cooking, and true friendship.

In the ten intervening years, our paths have crossed on a few occasions. In New York, at my wedding (Carnie signed the ketubah), and this week in St. Louis.

The nameless one and I are the godparents to their third child (Yes, I insisted that he call me "Godfather") though we hadn't really had a chance to bond until Monday. [here's a pic of the boy]

Watching their brood grow (I was the first person besides the parents to see their first child after she was born...I trekked out to the hospital in Tokyo that night) is an experience from which I get much joy.

And trepidation...

I saw the two oldest kids showing Paulie a video they had been shown at a friend's house "Kosher Boy" which in and of itself wasn't terrible, but raised a whole series of questions.

In my house...to some extent, things can be controlled.

But what happens when your kids go to their friends? And those friends have older siblings?

It's enough to make a parent pull his hair out. I live on the Net so I know the scary stuff that is out there.

Ironically enough, I got some perspective from Joanne, the Avis shuttle driver at the airport who shared with me how she has built a two-way relationship with her kids (19, 17, and 14) by starting a conversation based on trust from a very early age.

As a result, they feel comfortable telling her things.

And I can see that Carnie and Paulie (no surprise) have accomplished much of the same with their four.

Years ago, they inspired me in the way they built community, relationships, and trust with the dispersed Jews of Tokyo.

Now, in the Midwest, they continue to inspire...albeit on a different track.

One of the reasons why I spend so much time staying in touch with people is to gain the perspective that only comes from interactions over time.

(And on a side note, I got to play the Nintendo Wii for the first time...VERY cool!)

Neckwear...

Stewart, a loyal blog reader, was criticizing me for my Skype profile image. He said that an "open-necked" shirt didn't offer a professional image (since I use Skype, sometimes, for work).

That led to a conversation on style and fashion and 3 months ago, Stewart offered to bring me a first-class shirt/tie combination for my brother's wedding this past weeked in St. Paul, MN.

I completely forgot, but Stewart didn't. Not only did he bring one, he brought 2, lest my better half disapprove.

He told me that I "looked like a million bucks," of course I said, I was about $500k, since my boy took the cake in the male fashion category.

Now, while on the subject of neckwear, I have to relate this anecdote.

In sum, it is "you can take the boy out of Israel, but can't take Israel out of the boy."

My cousin Shai, a Harvard Ph.D and Stanford post-doc in bioinformatics, calls me 45 minutes before the wedding and asks to come down to my room.

He needs help tying his necktie. The two he owns, both permantenly tied, are not with him (he just moved to Palo Alto) and, of course, being Israeli, tying a tie is not part of his skill set.

So, Shai, here's a diagram for the classy Windsor knot.