Feeling...

Emily Waldman (a friend from high school) once made a profound comment to me.

"When I listen to my discman [pre-iPod era], I think of the music as the soundtrack to my life."

I was playing with Paco today in the basement. You know the game where you can't let the balloon hit the ground...

Eventually, he makes his way over to our CD tower (which we never use, of course) and pulls out Music from the Movies.

What the heck? I put it on for him and we continue to play.

It's amazing, though how music can really create a mood for you.

The first song (they were all instrumental versions) was "I Will Always Love You," from The Bodyguard (haven't seen it).

But Paco and I seemed to have the same reaction.

We both calmed down. He curled up next to me.

I felt a glow within me and I realized that my kids have given me something...the ability to FEEL in a whole new way, that I didn't have before.

My brother-in-law [this would be my wife's brother] said to me before Calanit was born.

"You love your wife, yes, but you REALLY love your kids. You'll see."

He's right, of course, and I thought how this song "I Will Always Love You" does refer to the way that I feel about them. Despite the fact that they will, unfortunately and most likely, do things that anger, disappoint, frustrate, and upset me.  No matter what I will indeed always love them.

And it was that feeling I was experiencing and of which I was acutely aware at that moment. And one that I knew I hadn't had in the pre-kid days.

This song was the soundtrack of my life at that moment. It was, in music, reflecting the emotion of the story that is my life.