I'm in the middle of a good book now called "The Outside World" by Tova Mirvis. The basic plot involves a young Jewish boy who becomes extremely religious and his parents have to confront the challenge of their son not growing up as they had imagined.
It's made me think about my own expectations for my kids and at the same time made me think about what, if any, expectations I should have.
I wonder if, instead of creating a fantasized path they will follow, I should focus more on the type of character traits I want them to have. Then, they can use those traits on a path they choose. Clearly, some paths they choose would be more painful to me than others and hopefully, they will see merit in some of the paths I value more highly than others, but in the end, I can't control them. Seeking to control them defeats the end goal of my role as a father. It's almost contradictory.
On the one hand, give them the traits, education, and goals that you value, but at the same time, be prepared for them to interpret everything differently.
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