After waking me up a 2nd time to go to the potty, Calanit is standing at the side of our bed, demanding that Tamar "go and see it."
As if we need demonstrable evidence at 2am of our daughter's progress in the potty training arena.
At first, I take a very confrontational tone. Threats of punishments, demands, etc.
We are getting nowhere.
Tamar calls out: "If you wake up your brother, there is going to be a BIG, BIG punishment!"
Calanit is standing next to me. I turn to her and say,
"Tonka, there's a great word in German, Schadenfreude. It means that I will be happy if something not so great happens to you. Now, I love you very much, but I have to admit, I am curious to see what punishment your mother has in mind. Perhaps your brother could wake up for a few minutes and then go back to sleep. But I've got to say, I am curious."
Calanit is silent for the first time.
A switch goes off in my head...perhaps I should strike a collaborative tone?
I don't remember the exact sentence, but it was something along the lines of....
'aren't you glad that you are able to go to the potty? Remember, Paco can't yet, so you should appreciate it. You can be excited about it, but you have to remember that if it's late, we are tired, and we can celebrate with you in the morning."
That led us into a 30 minute conversation about the benefits of her status as a 3.5 year old.
Eventually, she turned to the door and said, "ok, I am going to bed now."
I learned a big lesson here...the days of telling her what to do and how are numbered. Better figure out how to achieve influence without authority.
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