Sunday, December 03, 2017

Gratitude Journal- Day 14: Inconsiderate husbands

A few weeks ago, someone we know spoke incredibly rudely to the NFO. The content of the comments were fine, but the manner and tone were entirely inappropriate.

I wasn't there myself, but the NFO tells me that the wife of this man was working quite hard to have him stop and he totally ignored her.

Later, when I confronted the man about his behavior, I expressed how I felt. His wife was present when I did and she concurred with me.

He was obstinate in his position, so I said to him, "you shouldn't just take my word for it, listen to your wife, SHE is telling you that you made a mistake."

His response was, "it's ok, there are plenty of things I ignore that that she says" (or something to that effect).

As I listened to him explain to me why he thought his behavior was ok (it wasn't), I had a realization. It was something that the NFO has been saying to me for a long time.

When you are a husband, your actions do not simply reflect upon you. They reflect upon your wife and your children.  It makes them look bad by association.

I felt terrible for this man's wife as she not only had to deal with the mess that he created and being ignored (on this topic) but also had to suffer the indignity of being cast in a bad light because of something he did.

Now, I probably should listen to my wife a lot more than I do (working on it), but I was grateful to have the opportunity to see an example of what not to do and how every action I take as a husband does reflect on my wife...whether she is there or not.

I am very sorry that the NFO had to go through this experience.

I am sorry that the wife and family of this man had to go through it as well.

However, I am grateful that his total disregard for her feelings in this moment was a huge reminder to me of what I should and should not aspire to be as a husband.
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