And we're back....what is profound marriage?

More contractions. Just dropped NFO at OB's office. Man, these kids really throw you for a loop, huh? [updated: she's coming back home]

The NFO was lamenting the fact that she "felt bad" that I had to do so much extra work around the house. And yes, I have a lot of sympathy for single parents now, but this isn't about my playing the "martyr card."

It's about the essence of marriage.

I am reading a book now called Marriage, a History: How Love Conquered Marriage (let's call it 'a book' and not a 'good book' just yet) which reads like a college level anthropology course.

Anyhow, it talks about how the idea of marriage has evolved over time that Romantic Love is the most important thing and that the day to day aspects of life sort of take second place.

I know some very attractive women in their mid-20's (sorry, nothing salacious in that line) who have everything going for them, except their ability to commit.

They frequently are dating guys in whom they manage to find some 'fatal flaw.'

They lament their inability to "always have deep, profound conversations" with the young men.

Now, I am not saying there is no part for that in marriage, but what I've tried to relay to these young women is that, when you get down to the brass tacks of marriage, it's not a ton of glamor. It's hard work.

The most profound conversations we have on some days is "who is bringing in the groceries from Costco?" and "who is doing the next diaper change?"

And, it is in moments of stress that the romance happens. It is sleeping in the chair in the hospital after your spouse's surgery. It's stepping up to the plate when your NFO is on bedrest. That's the profound moment...the willingness to sacrifice yourself (hell, I'd rather be blogging, right?) for the sake of another.

Yes, the tide will go down and things, hopefully, will become calmer, and in those calm moments, together, you reflect on your joint adventure. That's the beauty of the marital experience.