Israel in 2013-Hannukah in the Land of the Maccabees

Unlike my personal and professional life, I take a very laid back approach to travel, particularly with kids.

Long ago, in my backpacking through Europe days, I gave up on the notion of “trying to do it all” and instead take a mentality of “whatever you are doing, you are doing in <place you are visiting>.”

Now, that doesn’t mean I just sit in a café all day and work on my laptop and, of course, try to marry this with my philosophy of “do things that are unique to <place you are visiting>,” but it’s a balance.

In short, my goal is “one big objective per day” and then everything else is bonus. I don’t want the travel experience ruined by the “we have to get here” mentality and not being able to appreciate the subtleties of a location like “what are rest stops like here and why?” or “how do people shop?” and more.

Ok, enough background. On with it.

Background

We found the deal of the century on Turkish Airlines ($700 RT per ticket), which everyone universally agrees is a great travel experience, so I was of the mindset of “whatever we do in Israel, it didn’t cost that much to get us here “. Plus, between it being Thanksgiving time and Hannukah, the stars were aligned…or should we just say that yet another miracle occurred.

Base of Operations

One of the challenges of any travel scenario is establishing your base of operations. Fortunately, my brother-in-law lives in Hashmonaim, which is near Modi’in. The location is ideal, about halfway in between Tel Aviv and Jerusalem. The only downside is that Foursquare seems to think it is Palestinian Territory.

The Phrase that Sums Up Israel

I was entering the bank in Jerusalem and the security guard asked me a simple question: “Do you have a gun?”

I said “no,” and moved on.

But in that moment, you get a rich appreciation for the complexity of life here.

Agree? Discuss below.

Daily Goals

Day 1-Technology and Business

Knew it would be challenging because of kids’ jet lag (though I have to say they were absolute, 100% rockstars on the flight over. 3 iPads were deployed and the kids didn’t even get up once on the flight from DC to Istanbul—not even to use the bathroom).

As a result, the NFO was very accommodating in granting me one “business day.” Not only do I like this for the benefit of building the personal and professional network, but one of my favorite things in every trip to Israel is to understand how the Israeli business and technology sectors are evolving. As the home of Start-up Nation and the country with the 3rd largest number of public companies on the NYSE (after US and Canada), in my opinion, you can’t understand modern Israel without investigating this side of the story.

I was aided in my efforts this time by the indefatigable and unparalleled Jeremy Lustman, who heads up the DLA Piper office in Israel and is mega plugged in. He set up 2 solid meetings for me.

Israel’s prowess in technology based on military/defense needs continues (as it must) and I’ve long said that the irony of the ongoing Arab war/vilification of Israel is that its existence is what gives Israel so much potential and wealth.

Places like Herzliya reflect this. With the names of pretty much every technology company you can think of on buildings, it’s a testament to the recognition of the world’s largest companies of this reality. The proof is in the dollars.

What I also saw, however, was that Israeli companies, which historically have been very weak at marketing are starting to turn that around.  It’s something I saw a few years ago and I think is a reflection of the natural evolution of the country’s business leaders. More international experience in terms of management and understanding of the expectations of what it takes to survive and thrive.

Day 2-Jerusalem of Gold

No trip to Israel is complete without a trip to Jerusalem, the ancient and modern capital of the Jewish state and the epicenter of Judaism as a religion.

Still, that emotion is overcome by the fact that, well, it’s really a hassle getting in and out of town by car. Still, we deal with it, right?

We stopped at Mahane Yehuda, the big, open air market, where all types of fruits, vegetables, fish, and more are sold. While the NFO and the kids walked through there, I was able to meet up with some longtime friends on Ben Yehuda (the main pedestrian mall) including Noa Choritz, Neil Gillman, and Gil Kezwer. 

I like maintaining relationships…that’s no secret, but I love hearing the diverse perspectives of those who have lived here for a while. Some have become more right-wing (though I heard the best statement of all time from Gil’s wife, Randi who said, “I have become more right wing but I realize that it takes both wings to fly.”)

People and walking…those two things are fail safe ways to enjoy any trip anywhere.

After a short lunch at the Village Green (great vegan/vegetarian food), we set off on foot to the Old City, making our way down through the Shuk (market), we arrived in mid-late afternoon at the Western Wall, Judaism’s holiest site and the last remnant of the 2nd Temple.

For many, it’s a spiritual place and a time for reflection. My last few visits there didn’t really hit that high mark for me. This time, after stuffing a special note into the Wall, as is the custom, my nephews, Paco, and I were sitting on some chairs watching people do their thing and I had a moment of spirituality myself, one where I felt the weight of Jewish history on my shoulders. I felt like I had to impart some of a sense of history, as my friend Jen Pearlman says “of living vertically,” so that these boys would really understand why this place was of special importance and why it needed to be protected and defended.

An awesome feeling indeed and I did my best. A different type of spirituality, outside of myself, I suppose.

One of the things that always strikes me about Israel, but Jerusalem in particular is how you see Arabs going about their daily business and…no one really cares. They are a part of the fabric of life here. It’s stark primarily because of the opposite situation. I believe you would be hard pressed to find the capital of an Arab country where you would see religious Jews openly identifying themselves and walking with zero concern for their personal safety.

Day 3 and 4-Take It Easy

As Day 3 and 4 were Friday/Saturday, things tend to be a bit slower (well, hectic leading into the Sabbath) and then quiet (depending on where you are) on the actual Sabbath. We took the kids to a local park and then had a great time with my brother-in-law and his family.

Day 5-Go North, Young Man.

On this trip, I was determined that my kids learned that there was more to Israel than Jerusalem and Tel Aviv. On our previous visit, we had planned to go South, but, well, there was a war with Gaza, so we couldn’t do that.

This time, we thought our luck would be better in the North, so we went to Tiberias, on the Sea of Galilee (the lowest freshwater lake in the world), having a nice lunch on the promenade. On the way, we were struck by the beauty of the open land around it, the rolling, rocky hills and the agricultural wonder that has occurred there in the past 60 years.

Tiberias is one of the 4 holy cities of Judaism (Hebron, Safed, Jerusalem) and was the place where the Talmud (Jerusalem version) was codified because Jews couldn’t live in Jerusalem following the Bar Kokhba rebellion against the Romans in 135.

Unfortunately, for a city that has so much to offer, it really shows its age. It’s like the city got left behind by time and is stuck in the 1960s. What’s worse, in my opinion, it seems like they are leaving a ton of money on the table since the place is a mecca for Christian pilgrims (yes, I get the multi-religious semi-pun) because of the proximity of Nazareth, the miracle of the fishes, sermon on the mount, etc.

It’s a shame.

But not nearly as big of a shame as what happened to the tomb of Maimonides. Arguably the greatest Jewish mind of all time, he is buried in this city in a glorious tomb.

I was there about 20 years ago and it was marvelous and spiritual. Now, there’s a massive iron sculpture above it (which isn’t so bad), but the travesty is a white Home Depot-like fence that splits it down the middle and serves as the divider between men and women (since people tend to come and pray at his grave).

Now, I get that men and women are supposed to be separate during services and I’m ok with that, but this is a freaking grave…not a synagogue and the morons who put this piece of crap have turned a beautiful piece of art into nothing more than a utility. The opposite of how it should be.

It’s kind of like splitting the Mona Lisa down the middle and saying “ok, you can look at half the canvas and you’ll appreciate Leonardo just as much.”

Ugh. Embarrassing and silly.

Not that I don’t understand the reasons for why the fanatics who did this, did this. It’s just that I don’t agree with it at all.

That night, we stayed in a quaint Zimmer-style cabin near Moshav Zippori (itself a historic place). I really liked it.  Relaxing, peaceful…and great wi-fi.

Day 6-Onto the Heights

When you see the Golan Heights up close and think about the military challenges that faced Israel in the 1967 war, you can’t help but be in awe that they were able to accomplish what they did.

Today, the vistas are breathtaking (even with the fences that identify live minefields), but under heavy fire? Going uphill?

Are you kidding me?

Once you get to the top though, it’s like the Great Plains…flat, peaceful, few trees, serene. I felt so at peace when we arrived in Avnei Eitan, a cooperative of about 100 families calmly situated in, well, the middle of nowhere…and about 10km from the Syrian border. 

The reason for our visit to this outpost was the “Automatic Dairy” where the cows go through a machine called the “Astronaut” which is, well, just fantastic.

Each cow had an RFID chip around its neck and it enters a massive machine 3 times per day. The chip tells the machine which cow it is. The machine knows things such as how much milk the cow gave last time and the entire history of the cow. Frankly, it’s and Electronic Medical Record for each cow (they can do it for cows, just not healthcare.gov website).

The cow is on a scale, so the weight is recorded and the proper amount of food is distributed.

Meanwhile, 4 suction cups are attached to the udder of the cow but only after the teats have been cleaned with a brush (like a car wash) and their exact location targeted and pinpointed by laser. As each of the 4 compartments are drained, the suction cup drops away until all are done. The teats are washed with some anti-biotic spray and the gates open (even if the cow isn’t finished eating). Precisely 17 seconds later, a shock is delivered in order to encourage the cow to leave.

Of course, after the first few times, all of the cows leave at the 15 second mark. No muss, no fuss.

This technology, which costs about $150,000 has enabled the dairy to move from 10 cows to 75 with very limited additional increase in manpower. In fact, our tour guide told us that now she is able to leave the dairy, which she wasn’t able to do before (or someone had to be there) and they can manage/measure the entire process…from their iPhones!

I loved this tour as it reflects the ingenuity and spirit of innovation that is Israel.

On the way up to the Heights, I was telling the kids about the history of the 1967 War and the challenges of scarcity/resource allocation and how “necessity is the mother of invention.” (I also introduced them to the Knesset-Israeli parliament process and they quickly understood why it was such a challenge!)

The machine isn’t Israeli-made (it’s Dutch), but the point was made and they saw how the operation of the dairy could scale because of technology (something I am always happy to have them see!)

Gamla-The afternoon took us to Gamla, aka “The Masada of the North,” a secluded location that served as a refuge for Jews who were trying to escape Roman persecution. Tragically, the 9,000 people there all died, choosing suicide instead of slavery at the hands of the Romans when their situation became desperate.

We took a moment to hear from my brother-in-law about this time in Jewish history while on a 1 hour long like over the hills and terrain, absolutely breathtaking and well worth it. Joined by a longtime friend, Shmuel Goldman-a resident of the Golan-we had a chance to just soak in the earth.

Over 20 years ago, before a trip to Israel, a family friend gave me her advice about how to experience it. To this day, I remember it: “Walk the Land.”

And I do, every time I am here.

Other Observations

1. New Highway 6 is great.
2. A few people talked about Iran. No one talks about the Palestinians.
3. I still can’t understand why coffee from pretty much any shop in Israel is better than most places in US. Certainly better than Starbucks (which isn’t in Israel, btw. They gave up and left due to strength of coffee culture).
4. I popped a Golan SIM card into my Nexus 4 and had connectivity everywhere. Great stuff.
5. Waze is even better in Israel because EVERYBODY uses it. Really helpful for crowdsourcing traffic.
6. As some of you know, I enjoy checking in on Foursquare. Not only can I find friends and suggestions in the area, but it’s a diary for where I go. I was a bit disappointed to see that the Golan Heights, according to them, are part of Syria and Hashmonaim, where my brother-in-law lives is part of Palestinian Territory.

No need to worry…I sent the issue along. We’ll see what happens.

Ok, I cranked this out all in one day. Random stuff that I will realize that I forgot and report on last few days to come.

The Story of Stuff

I’ve shared this before, but it’s worth sharing again…More powerful is the one on bottled water

What does Jewdar and a Federal Department have in common?

They both were relevant connection points on my morning train to NYC.

I am an avowed train and plane talker.

That probably comes as no surprise to you, of course.

Thing is, ALMOST every time I initiate a conversation on a train or plane, it pays off.

Today was no exception…two times.

As I boarded the train at BWI, my esteemed colleague and erstwhile running partner, Eric (follow him on twitter @emarterella) had saved me a seat. Settling in, I commented that my 3 day suitcase was overfilled because “at least 50% of it is running gear.”

This brought a smile to the face of the woman in the seat next to me. (Apparently, she had been forewarned that, well, I’m the gregarious type.)

Turns out, this federal government employee is a serious runner and, since that is a common component of Eric and my trip’s to NYC, she quickly became part of the group. So much so that we invited her to join us for a run the following night. And, it turns out, that we have a mutual friend in common who used to work at her Federal agency.

Seeing as she is an ultra-marathoner and really fast, we fully expect to be embarrassed, but hey, we’ll have a new friend.

As the journey moved along and we worked intermittently while chatting, the train unexpectedly filled up quite significantly as we rolled out of Philadelphia.

A middle-aged (but very young looking) woman boarded with her grown son and his wife.  As soon as I saw her, my well-tuned Jewdar was going off. I just knew…and I was right.

She took the seat next to Eric and we quickly began to kibitz. Soon, of course, we were watching a video of her son and new daughter-in-law’s weddings (it’s really beautiful, you should as well. Here you go.)

Even more, I learned that her father was the founder of a very worthwhile organization which I support, the Friends of the Israel Defense Forces. So, needless to say, Ruth Schwalbe and I became fast friends and I promised I’d share the video of her handsome son and beautiful daughter-in-law (that would be Jason and Laura) who, I am sad to say, because of the full train were not able to sit next to each other.

But somehow they made it.

And, once again, the value of connecting with total strangers on the train proves itself a winner.

So, next time you’re on a train or a plane, start up a conversation with your seatmate…you never know where it might lead you!

Laura + Jason from Utopia video productions on Vimeo.

Recollections of JFK’s Assassination…

My dad sent this around the other day and I asked him if I could share it with you. He said ok.

Below are a few of my recollections on this occasion of the 50th Anniversary of the Death of a President, JFK.

I watched part of a documentary on the JFK assassination last night, November 13, 2013, one that focussed on how the story was handled by the press, especially Walter Cronkite.

The Narrator suggested that this was the biggest story of the 20th Century or made some other hyperbolic comment.

It was big and remains big, but what about WWI and WWII, etc.

Fifty years.

I had lunch on November 22, 1963 with two friends at a restaurant named Lincoln's Inn.

One was Dan Rezneck, who, like me was an Assistant U.S. Attorney. 

Dan had actually promoted my application for the position, one that I enjoyed immensely. 

It was heady to get up and announce that I represented "The United States of America."

The other person at the lunch was our contemporary, Jack Rosenthal who was the Press Spokesman for the Department of Justice, Robert Kennedy, Attorney-General.

We discussed politics, Bobby Kennedy, etc.  Typical Washington talk.  We had no idea.

After lunch I returned to the U.S. Attorney's office and one of my colleagues, Tony Lapham, who was in the hallway told me that the President was dead.

A thought too large to wrap with my mind.  I had seen JFK once in a large room at Harvard Law School, when he was campaigning for the Presidency.

When he was inaugurated I was at the U.S. Coast Guard Officer Candidate School, Yorktown, VA. 

I had limited free time so  during lunch break I went  to the television room and listened to his stirring inaugural speech.

Washington was covered with snow and was bitter cold, as I saw on TV.   I was 150 miles away and it was cold. 

I was the only person in the room watching the Inauguration. 

I thought that was odd, as my military colleagues certainly had bright and interested individuals.

I think that my subsequent Commission as an officer may make reference to JFK or perhaps bore his signature. 

Later, I was moved by his call to come and serve in the government.   I doubt that was the only reason that I came to D.C. 

After I completed my military commitment, I did not return to San Antonio  because I thought that the prospects for finding a Jewish young woman

to suit my eccentricities were greater in the East, but that did not occur until eight years later.

In any event, during that night of November 22, 1963, I was staring into the White House grounds when the helicopter brought LBJ as the new President.

Two days later or so, when the casket was moved from the White House to the Capitol Rotunda, I was on the sidewalk outside the U.S. Courthouse  near Pennsylvania Avenue watching the procession, the riderless horse, the gun carriage bearing the body.

I went to the Capitol Rotunda at 2 a.m. to view the casket and persons were lined up for blocks waiting to do the same. 

I think that an acquaintance with a press pass got us in ahead of the line, not an egalitarian gesture.

Views of JFK as President, his accomplishments, his character and behavior, have changed over the years. 

During those three days, I was bereft.

The killing of Oswald, surrounded by law enforcement officials, by Jack Ruby viewed on live televicsion was astounding.

A few more thoughts on the sleep lab experience…

Wanted to get these last two down before I forgot

The room was really nice. More like a hotel than a hospital room. Cozy bed. Quilted. Carpeted.

And the quote of the night from Lucy (the nurse) when I was having a hard time sleeping was:

“It’s ok, some people don’t sleep well outside of their own bed,” because I was thinking “I sleep in a hotel bed pretty much every week.”

Sleep Study— Being Watched in Bed

Disclaimer: if “TMI” is something you normally say, then skip this post. I don’t need that comment

Last week’s SnoreGate kicked it off.

Then, over the weekend, I felt some sensitivity in my lower teeth.

Now, I am plagued with periodontal challenges, since this, unfortunately, is nothing new.

As luck would have it, however, I was scheduled for a cleaning at my periodontist who asked me if I had any concerns. I shared them.

“You know, it’s interesting you say that because I was looking at your chart and I am getting a bit worried about the recession on the inside of your front lower teeth. It could be caused by sleep apnea, your tongue pushing forward as a reaction.”

I shared the snoring incident and he said, “you should probably had a sleep study done. Call your insurance company.”

In a once-in-a-thousand years scenario, I got word from CareFirst that I had met the deductible for the year on our Health Savings Account so the study would be covered (who says we need Obamacare?)

Then, as luck would further have it, the hospital 2.7 miles from my house has a sleep center…and they had an opening the following night. The stars were aligned and I scheduled it.

Arrive at 8.30pm

I showed up on time, ready to go. At first, I thought, “for someone who goes to bed at 1.30am often, how am I going to go to sleep that early?” but I did feel tired and sleepy.

It took about an hour to hook up all the wires. Then, got in bed, watched a bit of TV (Kentucky vs. Michigan State), and then read a new book called “Grounded” (written by my cousin) until at 10.30pm, Lucy came in and said, “Ok, time to go to bed.”

I felt like my kids

It was NOT easy or comfortable to sleep (or try to sleep) with wires all over my head, two straps around my chest, and more wires connected to my chest and legs.

There was no clock so I can’t really say for sure, but I think it took about 45 minutes to fall asleep. Maybe the pressure to perform got to me.

I also kept wondering what they were seeing as they were monitoring brain waves as I was having all of these thoughts. Could they read my mind like “the Matrix?” Were different areas of my mind lighting up and they would see “man, that guy needs to think less about work/money/sex/whatever?”

It was like I was trying to read the minds of the people who were reading my mind.

At some point, maybe 2 hours later, my eyes popped open and moments later, Lucy came in (they can monitory my eye movements) and made some adjustments.

I told her I had to go to the bathroom.

Now, I drink a TON of water and eat a lot of fruit. I had also gone for a run at 4pm the previous afternoon and had rehydrated.

Even though she said, “don’t be embarrassed if you need to go to the washroom” and I knew she was a nurse, and I tend not to be embarrassed by these things, I couldn’t help feeling that way, probably because each time I had to, she would have to unhook me. Not looking forward to being in a nursing home.

I came back to the room and, well, nothing. I could NOT fall asleep. I was tired but my mind was racing about all things…being in a sleep study, work, home, life, upcoming travel plans. I kept having the urge to get up and either check my phone or start working, but I couldn’t.

My mouth was dry and I was a bit hot. I only had a bit of water left in my water bottle. I was also pretty hungry.

Then, maybe 90 minutes later (?), I had to go to the bathroom…again. Nerves? I don’t know. I hesitated, since I was tired and I didn’t want to have to ask again, but eventually, I decided it just had to be done.

They had a microphone in the room so I could just talk and they’d hear me (in addition to the night vision camera where they could watch me), so I just said “Lucy, I need to go to the bathroom.”

And like magic, there she was at the door, unhooking me. I asked her the time. She said, “I can’t tell you that.”

The CIA could learn from these guys Very disorienting.

Just kidding, they were nothing but professional.

Honestly, I may have gone to the bathroom a 3rd time…I’m really not sure at this point (I just got home and am blogging this while it’s still fresh and before the kids get up for school) because there were at least a few occasions when Lucy came in to adjust a wire that I had dislodged. It’s like sleeping in a stocking cap…made of metal.

I eventually did fall back asleep, but before I knew it, Lucy was back, telling me it was time to get up. At this point, she told me it as 5.20am and her one question: “Do you usually sleep this little?”

I’m kind of like a camel. I don’t sleep that much during the week, but Friday nights, I’ll go to bed at 8:30pm and sleep until 6:30am.

Anyway, results will come in about a week, I’m told.

The goop in your hair to keep the pads sticky is, well, sticky, and taking those pads off of a hairy chest…very uncomfortable.

Ok, time to go wake the kids and drink some coffee

Thanks for the support.

Another reason why it’s not easy being married to me…

 

If you had to listen to this at night…

Having A Great Partner-Lessons from the Race of My Life

On Sunday, I ran in the Army Ten Miler.

It was the best run of my life.

Back in April, I ran the Cherry Blossom 10 miler and I averaged 8:24 per mile. I was ecstatic then.

Since then, I had improved not only my training, but my diet as well. Was feeling stronger.

Except for the fact that I slept horribly on the night before, the stars were aligned. Beautiful morning. Got to the race in time to prep the body, as it were (runners know what I mean).

After I crossed the starting line, about 1/4 mile of the way in, I saw a guy next to me glance at his watch. I asked him our pace. “7:55,” he replied.

“What’s your target?”

“Right around there.”

So, I replied. “Well, I’ll stay with you as long as I can,” figuring he could pace me and even if I couldn’t keep up, at least I would have a strong start.

He said, “Sure, it’s always easier running with a partner.”

And, it was.

Not only did I get a chance to learn a bit about Nick Poulos’ life and perspective, but I had someone who looked after me-and vice versa-providing the little encouragement needed when-at various moments-your energy wanes.

Uphills, certain mileage points, and then the drive to the finish.

With Nick’s help, I was able to run the race of my life.

And it made me realize the importance of partnership in life across the board. Whether in marriage, business, or friends.

The Great Depression and Why I Love Being a Dad

The other day, Paco said to me “What was the Great Depression?”

Not only did I love his curiosity, but I loved this focus on the answer.

And, we went through a lot…starting with WW1, Hoover and going through the New Deal.

We covered some Macroeconomic theory in there as well.

But, it wasn’t so much the information as it was the process.

I just found myself enjoying the opportunity to share and engage with him (and the girls, who were avidly listening as well).

A moment to savor.

Truer Words Were Never Spoken

Never Had a DUI…

but my gut says they aren’t like this.

HT: Barak Epstein for sending it over.

The "Ask Mom" App

Paco was looking for his shin guards before soccer.

I asked him to be a bit more focused.

He said, “I have a better idea. I am going to use the app on my phone.”

He’s 8…doesn’t have a smartphone.

But, I turned around and saw him dialing on the home phone. He smiled.

“It’s called the ‘ask Mom app’”

Sure enough, it located the shin guards for him.

Babysitter cancellation policy?

If you make a reservation for a babysitter…and then you need to cancel, what would you say is the timeframe in which you should pay him/her for the time that was set aside?

When it all goes right…

Most of us are acutely aware of days when it all seems to go wrong.

But, every now and then, we hit a day when it all seems to go right.

Yesterday, for me, was one of those days. I’m just documenting it to practice gratitude.

It started at 5.30am in Dallas.

Took the cab to the airport, no problem. Was first in line at security.

I needed a smoothie—it was right across from my gate, which was directly across from security.

The flight got in early. The whole plane was full…except for the window seat next to me (I had an aisle seat).

I had arranged a phone call with the caveat that I would be late if something went awry on my flight. I called Tim exactly at noon.

I had lunch plans in Tysons Corner. There was no traffic and I was there, from the airport in 14 minutes, early for lunch.

The weather was gorgeous, there was a first-rate salad bar, and we ate outside.

Made it home with no traffic.

Took a run and had my best run of the year.

When I got back, the kids were there and we had a blast for 3 hours (I had been away for 2 days).

Read a book with Nadia. Watched baseball with Paco. Had a fun talk with Tikkanen.

After they went to bed, I got to Inbox Zero.

Had a chance to catch up on one of my favorite shows, Sons of Anarchy.

Wanted another smoothie…the NFO had gotten wheatgrass which I wanted to try out.

Had a good talk with the NFO.

Got a haircut.

The shirt I wanted to wear the next day was clean (thanks again to NFO).

Well, you get the idea.

#CountingBlessings

Wedding Gifts as Memory Creators

I will admit, I don’t usually put much thought into wedding gifts. My philosophy is “either buy from the registry or give cash.”

That’s what people usually really need when they are starting out.

But, the other day, my friend and former running partner, Robyn, sent me a note to challenge this belief.

“I keep thinking of you and NFO, because you gave us some lovely trays as a wedding gift, "to serve each other." 

We use them all the time and, lately, our younger daughter has taken to using them to surprise someone in the family with breakfast in bed.  With reciprocation, this has generated quite a few different breakfasts in bed for different members of the family, all on the trays that you gave to us. 

It is nice to see Hilary's delight at giving the simple gift of a cup of coffee and a bowl of Cheerios on a tray, or receiving breakfast on a tray herself.  Anyways, this new "tradition" that Hilary has started for our family struck me as very much in the spirit of the gift that you gave to us, so I thought that you might like to hear about it.”

Now, it’s possible that these were on Robyn’s wedding registry, but obviously the note that accompanied it (undoubtedly written by the NFO) lodged itself in Robyn’s mind…and though we haven’t seen each other in a LONG time, still serves as a bond.

Maybe towels aren’t the way to go?

What is your wedding gift philosophy?

This Commercial Made Me Cry….

and that’s why I am telling you about the video.

What I love about it is that they realized, “we’re not in the gum business, we’re in the storytelling business.”

If you get people to connect emotionally with your brand, no matter what you sell, it’s going to help.

My Son in the Future

I have a pretty good relationship with Paco.

He’s a sweet boy. Charming. A wonderful smile. Mischievous to the point of being cute.

A great athlete. A great sports companion. He’s 8. His innocence is eternal and refreshing.

I do my best to cherish it.

For example, you know what he wants from me on his birthday?

A 1:1 drive along the length of an entire avenue named for one of the states.

Last year, we did all of Connecticut Avenue. This year, all of Massachusetts Ave.

We saw it change from urban to suburban. From commercial to Embassy Row to residential.

I took a “mental snapshot” and savored it.

In fact, he did me proud as we drove home and were instructed by the NFO to pick up one item at the store.

She told us it was at Shopper’s which wasn’t quite on the path. The Safeway was, but she didn’t know if the item was there.

I said to Paco, “ok, buddy, we have a choice. We can go to Safeway and take a chance. If it’s there, we save time and get home sooner. If not, we lose time and have to go to Shopper’s.”

You know what he said?

“Go Big or Go Home!”

So we went to Safeway…it wasn’t there, but we didn’t care.

I thought of all of this tonight as I read an article I saw on Facebook about a dad trying to relate to his teenage son.

It gave me a “flashforward” to a day in the future when my boy may not want to talk or play with me. When I’ll be an irritation to him.

I know it is part of the rite of passage. Of separation. Of preparing for life without me.

What’s the word for pre-emptive nostalgia?

Another Business Disruption

If it’s happening to cab drivers, it can happen to anyone.

Customers-in aggregate-now have more power than the businesses.

The Backstory

At BWI rail station, cabs wait to pounce on stranded or time-constrained passengers, charging exorbitant fees to take advantage of a stressful situations.

It’s cause for resentment, but what can you do?

Disruption Awakening

While waiting to pick up a colleague, I started to chat with some of the cabbies and the talk turned to their business practices, how they decided what to charge whom.

“You know that you guys have a pretty bad reputation, right?”

They looked surprised.

I pulled out my phone and showed them my recent Foursquare check-in, where the tips frequently discussed how to deal with the predatory cab practices.

They were floored. “What’s the name of this app? I need to download it.”

It Is Happening to Everyone

EVERY organization and every industry deals with people. Those people have a voice that can be heard everywhere and at zero marginal cost.

NOT hearing the voice and engaging in a conversation with it leads down a lonely path.

Note: Sprinklr integrates with Foursquare so large companies can see who is checking-in and connect that information with the same person’s behavior on other social networks. In that way, they know if someone checks in at a store, it is the same person who tweeted last week about loving sweaters (or whatever it might be. You get the picture.)

A Meeting That Took 5 Years…Brought to you by Social Networking

Every now and then, with all of the excitement that surrounds the potential for social media in business, politics, etc., you forget what makes it so amazingly powerful.

Creating and solidifying connections between people.

It’s so simple. And it’s at the core of al the potential, but it gets lost in terms like “reach” and “engagement.”

The other day, however, I had a moment that brought me back, reminding me of the inherent beauty of the democratization of communication.

Five years ago, my friend Tom Harshbarger said, “there’s a guy you need to meet. His name is Brent Leary.”

Since then, Brent and I connected in many ways…email, phone, text, blogs, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, podcast interviews, Google+, Foursquare…you get the picture.

But, we had never actually met in person.

Until August 27th, 2013.

I gave Brent the heads up that I would be in Atlanta and he joined me for the event. Here is the video commemorating the moment and serving as the reminder of why he and I are so passionate about not just the technologies, but the possibilities they offer.

Listening to Youth: Letter to your Future Self

When you’re in your 20s, you tend to think you know everything. The challenge is that you don’t know when you don’t know something. As a result, you don’t shut up when you should and let people with more experience do it.

When you’re in your 40s, you’ve realized that you knew something in your 20s, but may have been naïve about other things. At the same time, you realize there are people in their 60s and 70s who know a hell of a lot more. The challenge is figuring out which is which.

And, I’m guessing, the challenge when you get into your 50s and 60s is that sometimes you overweight experience.

I have been wanting to write a letter to my future self to remind me that, once upon a time, I was in my 20s. I had a pretty good understanding of technology, the Internet, and what would be its impact on the world (although, I didn’t see all of it, of course). Where I was really naïve was in how to commercialize it, how long it would take, among other things, but I was on the right track.

So, I want my future self to know that, one day, I am going to meet a 20 year old who will be full of energy, talking about how the world will change and that, while he or she may be off on a few key things, s/he will be spot on about others.

I just hope I am wise enough to pay attention.

What’s wrong with this list?

I download the list of school supplies for my 3rd and 4th graders today and it made me sad. Here’s the list. Try to guess why.

Then, read at the bottom for my thoughts. Feel free to comment and tell me why I am wrong.

So, here’s why.

With the exception of a small number of items, it’s pretty much the same list I got when I was in 3rd grade.

Given the amount of innovation that has happened since then, I just find it really hard to believe that the tools necessary to get educated are the same.

It makes me very worried about whether my kids are getting as prepared as possible. With technology and globalization the competition is more intense and the need for great education is even higher.

Particularly acute given how much I am spending (granted that some of this cost is devoted to religious/cultural education, so I accept that).

Then, I saw my friend Mike’s status and I was envious:

In an email from my rising 6th grader's teacher: "Students will need daily internet access and a computer in order to complete their homework assignments." Oh, have times changed!

The Dead Presidents—Ohio Day 3

I had one of those “oh wait, I think so-and-so lives here” as we drove through suburban Cleveland.


I saw the Cleveland Clinic and remembered that a friend from college-whom I had not seen in 18 years-Sandhia Varyani, lived near by. So, I called her and got to see her-and introduce her to the kids. A nice side benefit.

As much fun as that was, it wasn’t our primary goal when we stayed in Solon, OH (named after a Greek leader? I should look).

The reason we selected it was because of its proximity to Mentor, OH, the home of America’s 20th President, James A. Garfield.

The Park Ranger was first rate and very kid-friendly in the hour long tour of the home. Garfield, who only made it to Day 200 of his Presidency before he was assassinated by a guy with delusions of grandeur, was extremely well read. His library had over 5,000 books and he could speak French and German as well as reading Latin and Greek.

The Junior Park Ranger program gave the kids some great activities as they went through the house and they also got a sense of what life was like in the 1880’s. The “deep dive” was just what we had in mind when we visited.
2.5 hours later, after a drive across central Ohio, we found ourselves in Marion, home of the 29th President, Warren G. Harding.  While the house was closed (we still counted it as a visit), we did get to sit on his porch and read some facts about him from Wikipedia (where else?)

Harding was known for many scandals during his administration and has consistently ranked near the bottom of US Presidents. However, it seems like some folks are now looking at his stance on the 8-hour work day, women’s issues, and Civil Rights to try and portray him in a different light.

Like Garfield and McKinley, he didn’t make it out of office…though he wasn’t assassinated.
We stopped at a great park on a beautiful day. It felt like Heartland America in small town America. Very quaint.

After sufficient energy was burned off, we drove to Columbus where we had some Graeter’s ice cream (I had to go with Buckeye flavor) and then spent some quality time with my cousins, Lee and Shelby Nathans.

Our Holiday Inn Express had a mini water park (slides and fountains, etc.), so we had a chance to catch up over pizza while the kids seriously frolicked. The NFO is on point during our trips for securing lodging and she rocks it when it comes to finding a place with a pool and a fridge…so we got to swim every night. (I also helped the kids understand why I like hot tubs).

The next morning-and our final official activity on the trip-took us to COSI-Columbus Museum of Science and Industry-which is definitely one of the best museums of its kind that I’ve seen.  The exhibits were fantastic and the bonus was that we had a chance to spend some time with the NFO’s cousin, Bruria Martin and her kids, who are living in Columbus for 2 years (from Israel). Outside, the kids had the opportunity to sit in some tractors, which they loved.

The kids are at a good age now. A degree of self-sufficiency that makes movement easier. They can cooperate and assist and with the iPads, they are generally placid for the ride.
All of this makes the ultimate objective-instilling curiosity and a passion for discovery-easier to accomplish.
The theme of “visiting the homes of Presidents” makes it easy for us to get motivated and have a core focus.
Whatever it is…I would call this trip a success.

Halls of Fame and Presidents—A Summer Road Trip to Ohio

A few years ago, after a visit to Jefferson’s home at Monticello and Madison’s at Montpelier, the kids developed an appreciation for history and excitement for the Presidents.

Somehow, we came up with the idea that a worthwhile goal would be to visit the home (or some place) associated with each President (and, no, the White House doesn’t count.)

So, when we were thinking about summer vacations, we were using this as a criteria and we discovered that Ohio has connection to 8 Presidents (albeit, some looser than others).

Still, it seemed like a good idea and when we combined our love of football (a visit to the Pro Football Hall of Fame) and Music (the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame), it seemed like a manageable trip.

Day 1 took us from DC to Canton and with summer hours going to 8, we were able to explore the Football HOF with plenty of time to spare. The kids-all of them-loved the history and the interactive exhibits. Even the NFO got into the swing of things.  Any time you have tablet computers and videos, you’re going to do well…which is exactly what happened.

I stopped to pay homage to Joe Gibbs and explain some of the great moments of the game. I am proud to say that it seems to have worked.

Once we were in Canton, OH, it was a very short hop to the William McKinley Memorial and Library. The 25th President was assassinated in 1901 and it’s interesting to think what would have happened if that hadn’t happened…his VP was Teddy Roosevelt.

The Memorial is built on a hill with a significant number of steps leading up to it. Entombed with him are his wife and 2 daughters who, sadly, died when before reaching age 4. It included an impressive biography of his life as well. Adjacent to the Memorial is the Presidential Center which had a mock “street” demonstrating what life looked like in the early 1900s…printing press, saloon, and all.

There was a also a great Science Center which the kids loved.

Afterwards, we headed to the First Ladies’ Historical Site, situated in the family home of Ida McKinley. Alas, it was closed on Monday, but we did get a chance to visit the gift shop, so all was not lost.

Moving at rapid pace, we then visited the Harry London chocolate factory, part of the Fannie Mae family (and now owned by 800Flowers.com) where we not only got to sample some great chocolate (of course), we had the chance to see it being made.  The kids LOVED this in all facets.

They’ve been great travelers, minimal complaints, and enjoying most visits. Of course, family trips with iPads and GPS aren’t what they used to be.

Since the point of this trip (and really all travel) is to widen horizons and instill curiosity, we figured a trip to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland would fit the bill (and, let’s be honest, I wanted to go there).

While the kids only really knew The Beatles and Elvis Presley (they were surprised that Carly Rae Jepsen and Beyonce weren’t in the HOF yet), they still had a great time. Even Paco (the erstwhile sports fan) said he had more fun at the R&R than at the Football HOF. Go figure.

The most fun part, if you ask me, of any visit is asking the kids what their favorite part was and hearing the unexpected answers, but walking through the big mouth/tongue to the Rolling Stones exhibit did make the cut.

We did have to navigate the museum with some care as (to be expected) there were a few exhibits/comments that weren’t, shall we say, family friendly…

I don’t think the guys picked up on it and we were no worse for the wear. At least now they know who the Rolling Stones are and I think they also know names like The Kinks, Supremes, Stevie Wonder, the Who, the Doors, and ZZ Top, so I would consider it successful.

Tomorrow is our next big Presidential day when we try to get James Garfield in Mentor, OH (interestingly enough, he was also assassinated) and Warren Harding in Merion.

Resilience

Beginning way back in 1998 when I read the book “Adversity Quotient,” I’ve settled on the idea that one of the key determinants for success (beyond talent and skills, etc.) is RESILIENCE.

The ability to dig deep, leave it all on the field, never give up, push on in the face of tremendous odds.

For me, the Tough Mudder was just a practice run for that in real life.

The latest book to drive that home came to me courtesy of my wonderful (seriously) mother-in-law.

It is called The Unthinkable: Who Survives When Disaster Strikes - and Whyand provides anecdotes and evidence about why, ultimately, it’s resilience that matters when a disaster (9/11, Katrina, etc.) occurs.

Do you believe you will make it?

Have you thought about it in the past and previously practiced/convinced yourself that you will make it?

These are critical factors and traits I hope to instill in my kids. That’s why I was super proud when I saw Paco’s basketball camp report card…and the praise he got for pushing as hard as he did.

Shooting, dribbling, etc. All of that comes…but grit. That has to be cultivated.

And it seems like there is a good reason why.

Don’t take advice….

Thanks to a wonderful gift from my pal, Jacob, I’ve been reading/enjoying Jessica Hagy’s book How to Be Interesting: (In 10 Simple Steps)

I particularly liked this chart.

Perspective, courtesy of North Korean refugee

This is powerful.

Reminds you how lucky you are…and how unlucky some are.

 

Jesus’ Home Court Advantage

My son and his friends went to basketball camp at one of the local high school powerhouses last week, Good Counsel.

The actual name of the school is Our Lady of Good Counsel, but somewhere along the line, they misread the sign and started calling it “OLD Lady of Good Counsel.”

But that’s only half the story.

They began to discuss who would win in various sports contests: God or Jesus.

They concluded that, because He is all-powerful, God would be able to take Jesus in basketball, golf, and, well, most events.

However, when asked, “what if the basketball game was played at Good Counsel?” Paco had an astute answer.

“I think God would still win, but it would be close because Jesus would have home court advantage.”

Big Finish

Sometimes you just have to document the funny moments.

I took the girls to the pool the other day and Nadia was enjoying jumping off the side, spread-eagled into the water before swimming over to me.

I told her, “ok, two more.”

She did one, climbed out of the pool and announced, “Time for the BIG FINISH!!”

She’s 5.5.

Good stuff.

1 degree of separation from Chuck D, Flavor Flav, and Public Enemy

I pride myself on my networking skills, but I have to say, I have now taken it to a whole new level.

At the pool the other day, I overhead a couple chatting and made an inserting remark into their conversation.

We got to talking and it turns out that the guy is a member of the rap group, Public Enemy.

James “Bomb” Allen (should I call you “Mr. Bomb?”) and I had a long chat about the history of rap and who the artists they most respected were (Run DMC, LL Cool J, and Beastie Boys) and some of the craziest moments in the band’s history (Redding UK festival where they had no idea where Flavor Flav was and then he just came flying onto the stage).

We also talked about the anti-Semitic controversy in the early 90’s (all a misunderstanding, apparently, according to James.)

Seriously cool guy and down to earth. So was his wife. It was a fun peek into a group that has impacted America.

And all the while, our kids are playing in the pool.

And, in the “street cred” department…before this, I was one step removed from ppl like Obama and Netanyahu, but these are easy.

Now, I’m one degree from Chuck D and Flavor Flav.

BTW, you can follow James on Twitter, if you want.

My 9.5 Year Old on Boys vs. Girls

It's one thing for me to say that men are simple and women are, well, a bit more complex. Not a bad thing, just more complex.

However, it's another thing for my 9 year old daughter.

"Daddy, how come boys have it so easy and girls make things so difficult?

For boys, all you have to do is give them a football and they are happy. With girls, there's always someone fighting or upset with someone. We can't even walk around the track without someone getting upset with someone else."

As her dad, I do my best to help her navigate life's challenges. On this one, I didn't really have an answer.

A Question About Zimmerman Case from a Guy Who Didn’t Really Follow It

I will be the first to say that I didn’t follow the Martin/Zimmerman trial at all.

I heard about it when the shooting occurred and then, believe it or not, didn’t hear anything until Sat. night when Facebook exploded with comments.

So, I really don’t know that much about the particulars of the case. So, in reality, everything after this could be ignorance in a bottle.

That being said, I saw my friend Tjada’s comment and there was something that troubled me about it. (Truth be told, there were others along this line, but this one stood out…Also, Tjada and I go way back on discussing tough issues, so I know she can handle it

For the sake of argument, let’s just all agree for now that the Zimmerman verdict was a total miscarriage of justice.

Here’s where I am running into issues.

If the Zimmerman verdict was a miscarriage of justice and let’s say that race did play a factor, does that necessarily mean that all courts, police officers, and prosecutors are racially biased?

And, isn’t reaching that conclusion the very essence of the Zimmerman case, in some way? (or at least how I understand it).

From what I can gather Zimmerman saw a young black man and immediately drew a generalized conclusion “young black man in wrong neighborhood can only be up to no good” because of a stereotype he had formed.

So, is it equally dangerous to have an incident where one court case in one city in one state that involves the murder of a black man has a miscarriage of justice and then automatically assume that all court cases where a black man is the victim are, by definition, going to be equally unfair/corrupt, etc.?

I suppose I am thinking that the reaction to the court case is precisely because of the danger of stereotypes, yet a statement like ‘scared for all black boys’ implies a stereotype that there’s no real justice in the court system anywhere in America.

Or, maybe I am just missing something here on a deeper level? Definitely possible and won’t be the first time, so help me understand.

Always Eat Left-Handed-Read the Book

My friend, Rohit, has done it again.

I’m often asked about tips and suggestions for being more efficient in my personal/professional life and in engaging others in conversation.

What Rohit has done in his latest book, Always Eat Left Handed: 15 Surprisingly Simple Secrets Of Success is package up many of his tips (which are similar to mine) in a fun, easy to read book. I put the whole thing away in about 3 short sittings and found myself nodding in full agreement (with 1 or 2 exceptions).

What I like about Rohit (as you’ll see in my reviews of his previous books Personality Not Included and Likeonomics) is his refreshing style of writing (it has a lot of personality) and the practicality of his advice.

This one is in Kindle format, is pretty cheap, and will make an immediate impact.

Parenting, the fear of failure, and my failure…

Some of you may recall my challenge 2 years ago when I was trying to help Tonka get over her fear of going down the slide at the pool.

Your advice then was: “back off.”

Well, I’ve failed on that one.

On Friday, July 5th, the girls had camp, so Paco and I decided we would go to Six Flags and have a “guys day.”

We went on a roller coaster and some water slides. Then, we confronted the “Tornado,” which meant we would be in a tube, do a decent sized drop, and fly up the wall on the other side.

When we got to the top—and there was no line!—Paco said he was scared.

I wanted him to confront his fears. I told him….”it’s ok to be afraid, it’s not ok to be paralyzed by fear.”

It may sound melodramatic, but I have a nagging sense that if I let him (or any of my kids) let fear stand in their way, that it will become a habit.

Frankly, I don’t have much patience for adults who can’t get over irrational fears.

At its essence, this is one of my core fathering responsibilities, in my opinion.

We had a 20 minute stand-off at the top of the ride.

He was crying, I was tense. I tried to cajole, empathize, threaten, force, and bribe him…eventually, I lost and we walked down.

Honestly, I felt like a failure.

Maybe I’m being too hard on myself. Maybe next year he’ll be fine.

What I don’t want is a 25 year old son who can’t get over his unnecessary fears so that he can accomplish what that of which he is truly capable.

You tell me the word…

Need a word to describe this situation: 

I'm sitting on a train (i.e. public place) and there's a dude talking way too loudly on his cell phone. I look at the woman across from me and we don't say anything, but it's pretty clear that we're both thinking, "why the heck does this guy have to talk so loud on his phone?"

So, the word I'm looking for describes the moment when you and a total stranger have a moment of non-verbal connection and you both know that you both are thinking the exact same thing.

And Poof, It’s Gone

In the past 2 months, Nadia (age 5.5) has exploded as a reader. She’s also figured out how to shower herself.

So bedtime, which used to consist of the NFO and me giving baths and reading books, has morphed somewhat.

We’ll still read a book to her on occasion, but more often than not, she’s reading to us or just to herself.

All those years of giving baths to the kids have come to an end.

Sure, on occasion, we’ll still do it, but it’s more the exception than the rule now.

I’m ok with it. After all, I didn’t plan on giving them baths at age 25, so it had to end sometime. Still, appreciate the milestone.

On to the next one

Another Reason to Blog…

Elysa Coles Sicard.

Well, sort of.

You see, Elysa and I knew each other when we were both students in Japan in 1997. We saw each other once after that when she lived in DC, but it’s been at least 12 or 13 years…if not more.

She’s been living in Poland and now in France.

We talk every 4 years or so.

The other day was one of them and I was astounded as she recollected and commented on blog posts and observations I had made over the years.

The blog served as a social glue, of sorts, connecting us as friends over time and distance of conversations. Asynchronous friendships. Not the real-time stuff of Facebook, but deeper, allowing her to reflect and ruminate on what I had written and then talk about it live.

There are days when I look at the blog traffic and think, “well, hardly anyone reads,” but then I remind myself that the personal blog is not a professional blog.

It’s a repository for friends to peruse when they feel like it and whether it is one or one hundred posts, it’s a chance to build the connection.

Thank you, Elysa for reminding me of that.

Father-Daughter Tea Party and Solar Exploration…

For the 4th year in a row, Tikkanen and I hosted a Father-Daughter Tea Party. Inspired by the book Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters, we decided it was a great opportunity to have quality 1:1 time and help her friends and their fathers do the same…and serve my special “extra cheesy Mac and Cheese.”

As is our custom, we went around the table and each father/daughter combination said 1 or a few things about the other which s/he appreciated. What was interesting is how the girls have become more comfortable speaking up over the years.

We also had some activities that included:

• decorating cookies together
• making souvenir t-shirts
• writing inspiring notes for each other on stickers
• painting fingernails (well, the dads didn’t get their nails painted, but hey)

These year, we also extended the party into a Solar City House Party, thanks to our pals at Solar City. Each guest had a nice tote bag, made from recycled plastic and we had an opportunity to talk about solar power (albeit not a huge amount b/c, well, 3rd grade girls and solar power are not necessarily the best combination, though it did look like some of the cookies had solar-inspired designs) However, the dads got a big of info and the packet came with a solar power worksheet, some napkins (“Go Solar!”) and a DVD…which we didn’t watch, I’ll admit.

So, this was the first year that the Tea Party had a sponsor and I want to thank Solar City for that. I have to say…from a branding perspective, it’s brilliant because now, with a highly competitive field of solar providers, I think Solar City is moving to the front of the pack in terms of name recall and awareness. Two of the dads are going to investigate for their roofs, so there you go.

Afterwards, I did take a few minutes to explain to Tonka about how solar works.

Anyway, that was a nice side benefit. The real benefit is spending quality time with the girls particularly as they get older, staying involved in a meaningful way, and showing them that it is in fact possible to have a good time with your friends even if the napkins don’t match with the tablecloth and when you serve mac and cheese out of a big bowl.

Allowing Part of Your Life to Waste Away...

Had a demoralizing talk with a longtime friend when I was in New York the other day.

He's been practicing corporate law for almost 20 years. Big Law, as they say, at a firm. Hasn't made partner and finds really no joy in his work.

As he said, "I don't look to work to provide me inspiration."  He has 3 kids, all in private school, and despite jumping around to a few firms, has never been able to find his groove.

In short, he's stuck.

It's sad, but I get where he's coming from. He's got a lifestyle now that requires the income he makes-even if he isn't excited about it-so he can't go anything about it.

I imagine there are parts of most people's lives that feel this way. It could be work, relationships, health, or psychological.

I listened to him and wished I could help him with some sage advice, but what should I tell him?

Obviously, he wants to be satisfied and challenged to his potential...he's that kind of guy...but he's not and, well, I don't see what he could do to bust out of the cycle and fulfill his obligations at the same time.

What am I missing here?

Honoring the True Heroes on Father's Day

If I am not mistaken, the first and only time I visited the World War II Memorial before today was with my grandfather, Stanley Robinson, on Father's Day, 2006.

To honor his memory and his service, I thought it would be nice to take the kids down there today. The two older ones had gone last time, but were too young to remember, and the youngest wasn't born yet.

It gave me a chance to remember him and reflect on his heroism while flying in planes over China, surviving 75 missions, and tell my kids about the sacrifices of the "Greatest Generation."

While we there, we were privileged to see a number of vets who had flown in on the Southwest Airlines Honor Flight (this one from New England) and receive a hero's welcome. It brought tears to my eyes.

Being a father can be a heroic undertaking, but standing in the shadows of these men makes you really appreciate the meaning of the word.

Here's the video.

Half-Marathon—On a trail, in a park

On the bus from the parking lot to the beginning of the North Face Endurance Challenge Half-Marathon at Algonkian State Park, I was chatting with my seatmate.

I told her, “this is my first half-marathon.”

She looked at me, wide-eyed, and said “and you chose to do a TRAIL half for your first one?”

I wasn’t sure what to say, so I said, “well, since I am on the bus to the start line, I think we’re kind of past the point for making that decision.”

And so began my day.

When I signed up for the race, they asked “what is your expected finish time?”

My answer: SUNDAY.

After the Tough Mudder, my teammates said to me, “well, you’re already capable of running 9 or 10 miles at once, you can do a half,” and when the opportunity presented itself, I figured I would go for the challenge.

Standing in line for the pre-run bathroom run, we were chatting with a great guy named Bruce who had done a few marathons and 50 mile races. When he asked me why I had decided to do the half-marathon, I told him.

“Wow. Tough Mudder…that is truly hard core.” I’ll take that.

Anyway, it was a trail run and the first 3 miles were slow, but fine.

As the race wore on, the heat and humidity picked up considerably. There were no water stations between mile 2 and mile 8, so it was getting tough, and with no mile markers in the middle of the woods, it was a bit disorienting. You just didn’t know how far you had gone.  I don’t have one of those GPS watches.

So, roughly between miles 5 and 7.5, I was in a total groove. The kind of groove where you don’t even think about the fact that you are running. It was Zen-like.

Then, we hit a creek that was full of mud and a muddy bank (almost Tough Mudder-like) and it required me to slow down considerably and use my hands. Killed my mojo.

About a mile later, we came to a water station and I hydrated. The sign there said “8.4 miles” but all the runners with watches said, “no, it’s 9.2.”

I figured I had less than 4 miles to go and since I tend to run about 5 miles per day, I felt like I had it in the bag.

I counted chickens a bit early as we shortly hit two hills that must have been 50 degree inclines. All along, my goal had been to just not stop running, no matter how slow, but on these hills, I had no choice. I had to walk.

Fortunately, my running partner, Yak, was with me, even though he is much faster. He claimed ulterior motives—if I finished, I’d be more likely to sign up for a marathon with him. Fair enough.

Those hills-at mile 10-took a ton out of me and I was soon relieved to hear someone say “only 2 miles to go from here.”

I mentally calculated how much energy I needed (I knew the last 2 miles were flat) and set off. I ran for what seemed like 12 minutes or so and then came to a water station where I was informed I had 1.65 miles to go.

What?!!!!!

I was basically running on fumes and I still wasn’t done. I had miscalculated the burn. All of that resulted in a pretty long last 1.5 mile of the run.

Yet, that’s the part of the activity that I love the best. In some ways, it’s the reason I do it. The physical challenge is great, but the mental challenge is what makes it special. When your body wants to give up, but you force yourself to go on anyway.

And, so I did.

Then, you hear the crowd (no spectators on the course b/c of the trail) at the finish area and you are uplifted…

They brought me home.

Considering the heat, it was my first time, and the fact that I had a calf spasm that required a house call by a physician friend, icing, and massage on the day before, I am thrilled with the 2.40 time I posted.

Next challenge? Open to suggestions.

A Night at the Ballet

As many of you know, the NFO is a serious dancer. So, it’s no surprise that Tonka and Nadia and, to some extent, Paco, are also fans of dance.

So, it was particularly fun to take them out (on a school night, no less!) to see Ballet Across America at the Kennedy Center.

If you’ve been there, you know what a great environment it is all the way around. The Halls of Nations and States, the huge bust of Kennedy, the river overlook, and the great rooms for the performances (we were in the Opera House), so they really enjoyed that.

We only made it for 2 of the 3 Acts (people were getting antsy), but we were priviliged to see the Richmond Ballet perform a piece that was inspired by the ghettos of WWII.

From the website:

Premiered in the Richmond Ballet (Stoner Winslett, Artistic Director) New Works Festival,Ershter Vals features music based on poems from the Jewish ghettos of World War II. The captivating choreography focuses the ballet on the moments of light that can be found in even the darkest of times, creating a penetrating message of hope.

The music that accompanied it was all Yiddish and I, who would not call myself a ballet aficionado (though I am certainly on the cusp) found myself mesmerized and really enjoying the right brain expansion that was taking place.

The kids had a lot of questions and we had to remind them to hold them until the intermission. All in all, they handled themselves quite well.

The second act was a bit more difficult. There was NO music whatsoever and the moments of total silence were a bit awkward. Still, the movements were graceful.

While I enjoyed the dance (really), I really enjoyed watching the kids enjoy the dance and be captivated, wide-eyed, and wondering about not only the dance, but everything…the chandeliers, the orchestra, the lighting, and the steep stairs.

I love the challenge of giving the kids new experiences to help shape their minds into flexible, dynamic, creative organs.

Does the mission change when the passengers change?

I really don’t think this will translate well to the blog, but here goes anyway…
I was dropping Paco off at his friend, Josh Daniels’ house. (names are changed to protect innocent).
Nadia was with me. We had walked over.
When I arrived there, I saw that another family, the Smiths were there for lunch.
The Smiths know where I live and said, “Oh, are you headed back to your house?”
I told them I was.
“Our daughter, Gina (age 8), is going to her friend, Amy King, who lives down the street from you.”
I responded, “I’m happy to take her there now,” seeing as Gina would be able to get to Amy’s house anywhere from 1 to 2 hours earlier than if she waited for her family to finish lunch.
At first, Gina (who has knows me—she’s in the same grade as Paco), indicated she would rather stay with her family, but while I was organizing the return plans for Paco, Gina changed her mind.
No skin off my back, I was headed in the direction of the King’s anyway.
So, Gina, Nadia, and I left the Daniels’ house and headed for my street.
Where things get interesting….
Along the way, I saw my friend, Jon Cole, walk out his front door and, since we were at the halfway point, I turned to the girls and said “do either of you need a bathroom stop?”
I had been walking with Nadia for about 45 minutes and if there’s one thing in which I believe in, it’s pre-emptive bathroom visits.
Both of the girls said no.
Jon said, “hey, you want to come in for a few minutes just to chat?”
I said, “well, are you guys having dessert? Maybe I can hook up the girls with a cookie?”
He said, “yes, we’re having dessert.”
Turning to the girls, I offered them a cookie. Nadia said she was interested. Gina said she wasn’t.
Now, you should know that Gina had never met the Cole’s before, but my assessment of her character was that she is pretty happy, go-lucky (we had been chatting along the way) and that a short detour wouldn’t be a big deal.
We went in, the girls sat on the couch and we were there for a maximum of 10 minutes. We took our leave and I safely delivered Gina to Amy’s house.
The Questions and The Controversy
Here’s where you get to vote/decide/weigh-in.
The NFO thinks that once I accept the responsibility for delivering Gina to Amy’s, I have no right to detour from that mission.
I think that since I am doing Gina and the Smiths a favor (one I am happy to do), that I am able to keep some degree of flexibility in how I get her there.  I would agree that a visit to the Cole’s of 2 hours would be excessive, so there is some point (for me, it was more than 10 minutes), at which point it is simply not right to stay and not fair to Gina. In my view, Gina comes out WAY ahead in terms of when she gets to Amy’s house, regardless of whether I stop at the Cole’s or not.
The NFO, however, disagrees and thinks that the point is 0 minutes. Once I take the job, I lose all flexibility.
Analogous might be….you offer to give your friend’s child a ride to your next door neighbor’s house from soccer practice. On the way, you pass the drugstore and you remember that you forgot to pick up a birthday card for your Mom. You see an opportunity to get it.
Is it ok to park, run in with the 2 kids, get the card, and run out? (assuming it is 10 minutes or less AND there’s no explicit time expectation for when your friend’s child will arrive at your neighbors)
Anyway, as I said, it doesn’t translate perfectly, so fire away.

Going Big in Vegas..

I was in Las Vegas last week for a 3 day group off-site.
On the one hand, Las Vegas represents the worst side of humanity. Yet, I still can’t help but admire the massive engineering accomplishments, the organizational efficiency, the sophisticated technology and infrastructure.
While I was there, some of the younger people on my team were encouraging me to “go big” in terms of partying/drinking, etc. Now, I was up later just because I spent time socializing with teammates (and combined with jet lag and poor sleeping), I already pushed it, but I couldn’t justify going even further. And we’ll leave out the fact that I’m training for a half-marathon.
When asked, I said,
“Look you have to understand something.”
“I could definitely go big here, but let me tell you how the story unfolds.  I go big for 3 nights. Then, I get home and my wife says to me, ‘hi, I’ve been 1 on 3 with the kids for 4 days, so I need a rest.
Now, her position is totally justified because being on point with the kids is the toughest job around (and ours are even at a bit of an easier stage).
So, to be honest, I just don’t see a good result when I say in response that, ‘you know, I went really big in Vegas and partied a lot, so I need a few days to recover.’
As a result, I’m going to bed now. See you later.”

2 Free Hotel Nights in Vegas-Interested?

Read disclaimer at bottom first before going further.

So, I won 2 nights at a hotel in Las Vegas (MGM Grand) and I am not going to be able to redeem them.

However, I want someone to benefit from them.

Here’s the offer.

(I will choose the best entry using my personal judgment and own criteria).

1. What makes Vegas intriguing to you?
2. How will your trip to Vegas benefit this blog community?
3. Are there any other “remarkable” reasons why you should get these 2 free nights?
   Get as creative as you like.

Please note:

• All entries must be submitted as comments to this blog post
• Deadline for submissions is June 9, 2013

 

DISCLAIMER: I am trying to do something nice and fun. I want to give my friends/community a chance to benefit and I don’t want to involve a lawyer or extraneous costs.  If you can’t deal with the fact that you might lose and that I am not going to write a whole long set of terms/conditions, don’t bother submitting an entry. If you’re that annoying, you should find another blog to read anyway. 

Laughing when facing a mortal disease…

This blog post is dedicated to my friend, Tom Siegman. I called him on his birthday the other day and he said, “hey man, keep on blogging.”

A few days ago, a friend of ours passed away. He was young, too young. Blogged on it here.

In the months leading up to this, people had the opportunity to go visit him and spend some time with him, just to keep him company during his time in between chemo, etc.

Last summer, I spent 2 hours with him and we spent the first hour talking about serious things, like American foreign policy, educational systems, the rise of China, etc.

At some point, talk turned to his illness. He couldn’t really eat food. He would get his nutrients through an IV, but he would drink just to avoid feeling parched and then, as I understand it, most of it would just go straight out of a tube in his stomach to the bag he carried around with him.

Now, I’m not sure exactly how we got the idea, but at some point (knowing me, it was probably I who came up with it), we realized that he could drink as much alcohol as he wanted and not get drunk.

From there, the plan we hatched was to go to the University of Maryland and challenge all of the frat boys to drinking contests for money. We saw an opportunity for him to “monetize his illness.” We both had a good laugh at this.

Now, some may think this crass, but what I think it represented for Gordon (and for all of us) is the ability to keep a light-hearted spirit during times of tremendous strain.

The gravity of the situation wasn’t lost on us, but the fact that we were able to have a laugh at the same time is, I think something that is commendable—mostly for him, as I wasn’t faced with the issue, of course.

I do recall reading somewhere (and I can’t remember right now where it was), that people who can laugh when faced with serious challenges are more likely to persevere than those who cannot.

In the long run, the disease got Gordon, but from all accounts, and from what I saw, he was a true fighter all along the way. I suspect this type of attitude had something to do with it.

For the aspiring medical practitioners among you...

In the spirit of bringing hiqh quality medical procedures to the world, here's the latest.

Inspired Design, Hong Kong Style

Now this is simply remarkable.

College Isn't Really Worth It

The joke here isn't the segment from the Daily Show. The joke is that most ppl think the segment is a joke.
Thanks to Mindy Barenblat for the link.

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
Get More: Daily Show Full Episodes,Indecision Political Humor,The Daily Show on Facebook

The Death of a Friend and the Injustice of Life's Realities

I held the kids a little bit closer this afternoon. The sun seemed brighter and the air felt fresher.

Our weekend had been sent into a very dark place on Saturday morning when we learned of the passing of our friend, Gordon Lederman. Aged 44, 3 kids under the age of 7, and one of the absolute nicest guys you'll ever meet.

A funeral for a new, young widow on Mother's Day brought everything into focus in terms of life's priorities.

The unjustice of it all. The inability to comprehend it all.  Why someone who had devoted so much to his family, his community and his country had to be taken from all of us after a fierce battle with cancer.

I had spent an afternoon with Gordon last summer and his spirits were high, his resolve unwavering.  Yesterday, as the NFO and I processed the news, I berated myself a bit for not having spent more time with him, for letting my petty issues and concerns get in the way.

Last night, one of the funeral organizers emailed and asked if I would be able to organize a livestream of the funeral for those who couldn't attend.

Sensing an opportunity to give to Gordon something that I did not enough when he was alive, I agreed.  During the funeral, I noticed that 27 different viewers were able to participate in the experience. I figured that some were watching with others and was able to take a small bit of comfort that 40 or so people were able to watch as a result.

That's a small aside, of course, to the much larger tragedy.  We spent a great deal of the weekend trying to comprehend it all, feeling sad for his wife, but absolutely heartbroken for his 3 children. That's what had me choked up, more than anything.  It made me hold my own kids a bit closer today and we tried to explain to them what had happened in as real terms as possible.

It's something that the NFO and I do a lot. I feel good about the non-sugar coating approach we take. Life has realities and we're not trying to scare them, but we do need to prepare them.

However, for something like this, I just don't think it's possible to be truly prepared.

I sense I'm rambling and a bit all over the place now...I just feel the need to get it out, even though I can't really understand it. I am sorry for that.

But it is nothing compared to the sorrow I feel for his family.  I truly hope that they have the strength to persevere through this horrific experience and flourish nonetheless.

(If you knew Gordon and are motivated, here's the video of the funeral. Apologies for the ads and poor audio.)

Gender Discrimination in Loan Docs?

We just refinanced our mortgage.

I was surprised by the language in the first sentence. A relic of a different era?

Running the Dish

As is my custom on any business trip, I make a point to do something unique to the area.

Proud to report that I “ran the Dish” at Stanford recently. A great-almost 4 mile course-around a huge radio telescope.

The experience provided fantastic vistas combined with great hill work.

I don’t usually drive to do a run, but since 2 different people recommended that I do it, I figured it was worth a shot…and it was.