Disclaimer: if “TMI” is something you normally say, then skip this post. I don’t need that comment
Last week’s SnoreGate kicked it off.
Now, I am plagued with periodontal challenges, since this, unfortunately, is nothing new.
As luck would have it, however, I was scheduled for a cleaning at my periodontist who asked me if I had any concerns. I shared them.
“You know, it’s interesting you say that because I was looking at your chart and I am getting a bit worried about the recession on the inside of your front lower teeth. It could be caused by sleep apnea, your tongue pushing forward as a reaction.”
I shared the snoring incident and he said, “you should probably had a sleep study done. Call your insurance company.”
In a once-in-a-thousand years scenario, I got word from CareFirst that I had met the deductible for the year on our Health Savings Account so the study would be covered (who says we need Obamacare?)
Arrive at 8.30pm
I showed up on time, ready to go. At first, I thought, “for someone who goes to bed at 1.30am often, how am I going to go to sleep that early?” but I did feel tired and sleepy.
It took about an hour to hook up all the wires. Then, got in bed, watched a bit of TV (Kentucky vs. Michigan State), and then read a new book called “Grounded” (written by my cousin) until at 10.30pm, Lucy came in and said, “Ok, time to go to bed.”
I felt like my kids
It was NOT easy or comfortable to sleep (or try to sleep) with wires all over my head, two straps around my chest, and more wires connected to my chest and legs.
There was no clock so I can’t really say for sure, but I think it took about 45 minutes to fall asleep. Maybe the pressure to perform got to me.
I also kept wondering what they were seeing as they were monitoring brain waves as I was having all of these thoughts. Could they read my mind like “the Matrix?” Were different areas of my mind lighting up and they would see “man, that guy needs to think less about work/money/sex/whatever?”
It was like I was trying to read the minds of the people who were reading my mind.
At some point, maybe 2 hours later, my eyes popped open and moments later, Lucy came in (they can monitory my eye movements) and made some adjustments.
I told her I had to go to the bathroom.
Now, I drink a TON of water and eat a lot of fruit. I had also gone for a run at 4pm the previous afternoon and had rehydrated.
Even though she said, “don’t be embarrassed if you need to go to the washroom” and I knew she was a nurse, and I tend not to be embarrassed by these things, I couldn’t help feeling that way, probably because each time I had to, she would have to unhook me. Not looking forward to being in a nursing home.
I came back to the room and, well, nothing. I could NOT fall asleep. I was tired but my mind was racing about all things…being in a sleep study, work, home, life, upcoming travel plans. I kept having the urge to get up and either check my phone or start working, but I couldn’t.
My mouth was dry and I was a bit hot. I only had a bit of water left in my water bottle. I was also pretty hungry.
Then, maybe 90 minutes later (?), I had to go to the bathroom…again. Nerves? I don’t know. I hesitated, since I was tired and I didn’t want to have to ask again, but eventually, I decided it just had to be done.
They had a microphone in the room so I could just talk and they’d hear me (in addition to the night vision camera where they could watch me), so I just said “Lucy, I need to go to the bathroom.”
And like magic, there she was at the door, unhooking me. I asked her the time. She said, “I can’t tell you that.”
The CIA could learn from these guys Very disorienting.
Just kidding, they were nothing but professional.
Honestly, I may have gone to the bathroom a 3rd time…I’m really not sure at this point (I just got home and am blogging this while it’s still fresh and before the kids get up for school) because there were at least a few occasions when Lucy came in to adjust a wire that I had dislodged. It’s like sleeping in a stocking cap…made of metal.
I eventually did fall back asleep, but before I knew it, Lucy was back, telling me it was time to get up. At this point, she told me it as 5.20am and her one question: “Do you usually sleep this little?”
I’m kind of like a camel. I don’t sleep that much during the week, but Friday nights, I’ll go to bed at 8:30pm and sleep until 6:30am.
Anyway, results will come in about a week, I’m told.
The goop in your hair to keep the pads sticky is, well, sticky, and taking those pads off of a hairy chest…very uncomfortable.
Ok, time to go wake the kids and drink some coffee
Thanks for the support.