Marital linkage...

One thing they don't teach young grooms is that sex and marriage are necessarily connected.

(I should say that this research is well verified outside of my own marriage).

The male mind says...I have a woman, therefore I have access to sex.

In the man's mind, no matter what happens during the day, the sex part is compartmentalized and if he's feeling it, he's feeling it.

Over time, married men learn, however, that there is a strong connection between what happens during the day and what happens at night.

If you show initiative and help out in the kitchen, your probability of night-time activity is higher (never guaranteed, of course :-). The inverse is true as well. Be a lazy bum during the day or a jerk, and your chances plummet.

It's difficult for the male mind to understand this b/c we can't see why not clearing up the dishes should have an impact, but it does.

This is a CRITICAL link. The sooner a young groom learns this lesson, the better off he will be. They should teach this in pre-marriage counseling sessions.