Sukkot Perspectives...

When your father-in-law is the Rabbi, you are immediately placed in the middle of a huge number of community and life-cycle events.

Since the immediate family and offspring has outgrown the sleeping capacity of my in-laws' house, we accepted the generous offer of a friend of the family to stay in her vacant house (cons: not kid-friendly; pros-no waiting for bathroom, plenty of space. Net-net: a positive!)

The owner of the house is recently widowed, her 2nd husband having been crushed to death by an SUV that was mistakenly put into reverse and accelerated onto the sidewalk.

This comes on the heels of her 1st husband being killed at a NY State Thruway rest stop by a drunk truck driver going the wrong way and her father, years before, murdered by a drug addict.

How much pain can one person take?

Walking around the house (she was away), we saw just how central this woman's family is to her identity. The walls are literally covered by pictures of every conceivable member. The condolence notes lay on the dining room table, a reminder of the tragedy in which this woman is currently in the middle.

And when we got to synagogue, to warm-up the relationships that I've formed with members of the Albany Jewish community over the past 7 years, we hear of more tragedy and heartbreak.

A couple we adore and with 5 children will be getting a divorce.

Another couple is struck by an illness (which only has 100 new diagnoses per year in the US) effectively making the wife a complete and total invalid. Unable to move or to speak, she requires 24/7 care.

The husband, handling the situation with extreme dignity, said to me:

"you know those little things that really annoy you about your spouse? When she can't talk to you or do anything, it is strange, but you start to miss them."

Since any long road trip is bound to cause a bit of tension (all small stuff), this moment of openness from Stan struck a chord. Made me take a deep breath. Remembered the old adage, "don't sweat the small stuff...and it's ALL small stuff."

Sukkot is a holiday where we go outside and reacquaint ourselves with the challenges of the natural world. Despite all of our efforts to control it, nature happens, and in ways that you can't possibly foresee.