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Over the weekend, as we offered our blessings and thoughts for the couple, I had a chance to have some side conversations with people about marriage.
What was interesting is how many people said how naive they were about what marriage really entails at the time of their weddings.
Not in the sense of "oh, it's terrible and I thought it would be 'happily ever after,'" but really more in the sense of how much effort, patience and time it takes to really morph into a couple...in the true sense of the world.
A few weeks back, I was talking to some friends of ours and they were sharing a conversation they'd had about what they would expect the other spouse to do in the event of an untimely/early death of one spouse.
The wife said, "I've spent 20 years breaking this one in, I don't have patience for another one."
It was said in jest...sort of...but I think the larger point, which she realized, is that it just takes a LOT OF TIME for two people to really come together and learn to live with each other in true harmony.
I don't want this to come off as saying there's discontent and dischord all along the way, there's certainly not. There are plenty of amazing moments as well, but recognizing that growing (or should I say wedding?) two people into one doesn't happen on the wedding day, it just starts there.
Maybe we should start talking about 'wedding' as a verb, not a noun. The noun, then, is just the first looping together in a process that takes a while.
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