Anniversary Thoughts...

On the occasion of our 4th wedding Anniversary

My grandparents have been married for 62 years and my grandfather, who is a bit of a jokester, likes to quip, "in all of the years of marriage, I've never once thought about divorce. Murder? Yes, but never divorce."

The funny thing about it, and everyone knows it, is that the two of them can't imagine life without each other.

Five years ago, if you had asked me about interdependence, co-dependence, or anything along those lines, I doubt that I would have been able to explain it in any meaningful way. I certainly didn't have a frame of reference for it.

Now, as I look back over these years, I see that Tamar and I have really begun to truly build a life with each other. There's so much that she does for me on a daily basis (and hey, let's be fair...I do a few things for her) that I'm at the point where life without her is indeed a scary thought.

Feeling that strongly about another person does indeed make you vulnerable. There are times when it's late and she's coming home from dancing and I worry about where she is...and my mind wanders....and naturally I think about the worst case scenario. Then, throw on top of that fact she works in downtown DC and we live in an era of the potential for weapons of mass destruction in the hands of terrorists and that Tamar and I were both in lower Manhattan on 9/11.

And I know it's worse for her, since the depth of her feeling and love is far more intense than mine. That's not to say that I don't love her, of course I do, but the way in which she loves carries such a pure depth to it that I can't even comprehend it, I fear.

Beyond the physical things that she does for me, she has truly "raised my game" in terms of my development as a person. The fact that we're both so committed to each other and to the joint adventure that is our marriage and life together makes the experience even more rich because in order for us to be "successful" I must integrate her feedback into the fiber of my being. It doesn't always go smoothly, of course, but I know I need to deliver or else "customer #1" is going to be unhappy and we can't have that, can we?

As life gets more hectic (or at least it seems that way), it's sometimes difficult to stop and smell the roses and genuinely express my gratitude to G-d for the beautiful (in all facets) woman who is my wife.

I am glad that we have chosen to celebrate wedding anniversaries. At least once a year, we pause and reflect on what we have.

I know we should do it more often, and I try, but at least we have this one moment in time.

Tamar Epstein, I love you. Thank you for marrying me.