Why You Should Talk to Your Seatmates on a Plane

Had another inspiring talk on an airplane the other day.

It validated my approach.

I learned a ton about the aircraft leasing business from a guy who sells engines for a major manufacture.

So, why do I do it?

1. Sure, I like the challenge of getting people to like me. It’s part of my WOO StrengthsFinder profile
2. I like people…I like understanding what makes them tick
3. But what I really love?
   When I learn about an entirely new field that I could have guessed existed, but never thought about…I feel enriched. And empowered, it provides the fertilizer for the creative part of my brain.

Sure, sometimes people don’t want to talk, no big deal, but if you ask questions and listen, usually you win.

You’ll get ideas that make your business and your life better. I can almost guarantee it.

It will make you a better marketer…and a better person.

1 Tip on How to Start a Conversation…

One trick I’ve picked up in trying to get people talking is to ask yourself “what kind of extreme situation would this person know about that only they would know?”

So, for example…I always ask taxi drivers

• what’s the furthest anyone has ever asked you to drive?
• what’s the strangest thing that has ever happened in the back of your cab? (not for the faint of heart)

and baristas…

• what is the MOST number of shots of espresso anyone has ever ordered at one time? (so far, 23 is the record)

If you can ask these, you can usually get people talking….

Art on a Plane…

Longtime blog readers know that I have a penchant for conversations on airplanes.
Sometimes I run into ignorant anti-Semites and lose. Sometimes, I meet awesome public health officials and win.
Most of the time, I win.
On my recent flight to Chicago, I met Heidi Neff, who is an Assistant Professor of Art at Harford Community College.
We started talking elements and principles of design and drawing (actually, she did the talking and I did the listening).
She agreed to a “design crash course” for the time on the flight from the moment when they told us to turn off our electronic devices until we could use them again.
And in that time, she managed to take the Sky Mall magazine and turn it into a textbook of design principles, explaining why photos were shot the way they were or why colors were placed as they were.
It was a great example of “world as classroom” and gave me a nice right-brain exercise early in the day.

When plane chats are good…

they can be great.

You’ve read the story of the unfortunate “Of course you do, you’re a Jew!” in Atlanta.

And, that was balanced out by my invigorating conversation with Susanne about Swine Flu and other things.

Well, Susanne was kind enough to send me a copy of her book Who Do I Become When I Am No Longer Me?  and I will tell you this….I am richer for it.

The book is a collection of true stories from her work as a medical professional, helping people learn to live again after a massive change brought on by debilitating disease, accident, etc.

It is HUMBLING.

Perfect for this time of year (in the Jewish calendar, at least) when self-reflection is paramount.

When I was first diagnosed with thyroid cancer, I remember my reaction was “why not me?”

We tend to think that these things only happen to “other people,” but they can (and we know full well, do) happen to us.

What happens then?

If you are a dancer and you can’t move your legs…who do you become?

If you are a social networker and you can’t talk or type, then what?

A foodie who can’t cut vegetables anymore?

You get my drift.

Stepping back to think about those things helps you appreciate the moments you have, because, it’s cliche, but things change in an instant.

See? Plane chats are great things.

Obama, Social Networks, and Legislative Power...

Image via WikipediaYoni Engelhart shared with me recently some observations of a presentation by some of Obama's top staffers at Harvard Business School.

The question was: "what are you going to do with the massive social network you've built via the campaign?"

The answer: "Use it to affect and drive the legislation we want." (see: www.change.gov)

For example, let's say that there are 3 congressman (could be Dems or Reps) who are holding up the passage of a bill that Obama support.

What does Team Obama do?

They email all of their "folks on the ground" and say "call your congressman and tell him to vote our way."

Well, you don't have to be a lifelong Washingtonian to understand that if 10,000 people call a given congressional office, that congressman will take notice...and probably change his vote in the name of job security.

Now, this is powerful, but it's also a bit scary.

Never before has a Chief Executive had the ability to directly contact people and drive legislation down at the precinct level.

It's a ton of power concentrated in the hands of a very select few.

Now, Yoni thinks that it is only a matter of time before Congressmen get tired of getting pushed around by Obama (this on both sides of the aisle) and start building their own organizations.

Yoni thinks that this is, in the long-term, a good thing for Democracy. He may be right, but what happens in the interval?

Sure, I don't agree with many of Obama's policies, but the idea that the traditional process of working with Capitol Hill to drive consensus legislation may be circumvented is a bit tough to handle-mostly because of the concentration of power. (Of course, when Obama says "Change" maybe he means this as well, since the 'traditional method' is what leads to 'pork-barrel' politics based on 'special interests.')

And, you read it here first: 6 years from now, you will see a movement to repeal the XXII Amendment and try to give Obama a 3rd term.

Updated: a friend forwarded me this article from NYT on Obama's plan.
Update 2: Jdub forwarded me a grassroots effort for the GOP to combat it.

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A taste of the world to come...

Usually, I blog with the reader in mind, but this one is just for me.

You're welcome to read along, of course.

There's a saying about the Jewish sabbath that it is M'ayn Olam HaBa, literally "from the world to come" (as in heaven, afterlife, etc.).

Many simply say "a taste/foreshadowing of the World to Come."

Today was one of those days for me.

Took Tonka and Paco to synagogue with me, where I read Torah. Had a great time as I pushed them in the stroller (great workout!) through the park and they laughed with each other.

Afterwards, I turned them loose on a new playground at an elementary school.

Sat outside (just gorgeous weather) on the bench (thanks, Dad!) reading while the two of them sprayed water on the pavement and our cars.

After lunch and a nap, we were off to one of our closest friend's birthday dessert party. Then, took the three of them (2 in the stroller, one in the Bjorn) to the baby naming for the daughter of some other close friends.

I must have walked 3.5 miles today pushing 70 lbs of weight (my calves are hurting!)

For someone who loves socializing, it was just a tremendous set of opportunities.

And, after coming back home, I took the girls to see some friends staying a few houses down, where we had a 30 minute chat.

Of all of today's images, the one I love the most is seeing Paco/Tonka running and laughing across the basketball court at the playground.

The weather was idyllic. The kids, for the most part, were well behaved. We saw so many wonderful friends and had such great conversations. Ate well. Just feel like we truly lived today.

If this is what the "world to come," is like, it'll be worth it.

The Last Lecture (Book)

Last September/October, my friend Jacob came over to hang out and said:

"hey, have you heard about the Carnegie-Mellon professor who gave his last lecture?"

He'd read an article in WSJ and together, we watched the video on YouTube.

To say it was inspirational would be an understatement of epic proportions. By now, you probably have seen it.

Randy Pausch, father of 3, husband, and Comp Sci professor is dying of pancreatic cancer and has only months to live. His lecture leaves you feeling uplifted about what it means to really live life.

Last week, Jacob dropped me a note:

I picked up 2 copies of "The Last Lecture" by Randy Pausch - the professor whose lecture we watched.  It's a very reassuring book that I think you'll like a lot.  It's also pretty short

I think Jacob was trying to send me a few messages with this book and I appreciate them. Some of them include:

1. Continue to live your life with an appreciation for the moment
2. Don't forget to be humble

and much more.

As I read this book, I thought of Randy's predicament, leaving 3 kids under 7 behind and how he desperately wants them to understand who he was...and struggling with the best way to do that.

I was reminded of a conversation I had with Michael Fishman after his mother's death, where he said:

"you know, I was thinking about your blog the night before the funeral. You know that you are leaving your kids...and your grandkids...such a gift. You are leaving them your own words and pictures, so they will really know who you were and what you thought. It's really great."

It made me feel quite good and encouraged me to continue my blogging efforts, if for that reason alone.

This book had me alternating between tears and laughter. It's not about dying. It's about LIVING.

I HIGHLY recommend it.

3rd party references...

Following Seth Godin's lead, I tell people that I don't maintain a resume anymore.

Between LinkedIn and my blog, I figure, anyone who would look at a traditional resume would have a deeper contextual understanding of my abilities and perspectives with those two vehicles.

Plus with LinkedIn, you get to see

• the extent of my network
• recommendations from others

And, now I'll add one more thing...the comments and blog posts written by others about you.

A big call out to Jimmy Gardner for his profile of me. I'm honored.

Getting Old is Shitty...

Or so says the 88 year old grandmother of the Bar Mitzvah boy I met last weekend.

But, you know what I've realized?

People who are getting old are actually ok with the idea of talking about getting old. In some cases, they WANT to talk about it with you.

Think about it.

They've never been there before. They're afraid of it. They want to discuss their fears.

Between this past weekend, a previous conversation with my Nana, and one with the NFO's, it's dawned on me:

When someone makes a comment such as "I'm getting old," the best thing you can do is...continue the conversation, as awkward as that may be.

Give a listening ear...see what happens.

Only Hillary Can Unite America...

It's not often that my wonderful liberal friends agree with Op-Ed's from the WSJ, but Peggy Noonan's piece today about Hillary Clinton is an exception.

What's interesting, and this came out in my chat with Tjada a few weeks ago, is that there are many Democrats who are getting fed up with Clinton behavior/style-something Reps talked about 16 years ago.

Regardless, in a twist on the "my enemy's enemy is my friend" concept, we now have Obama supporters, disenchanted Clintonians (Clintonites?) and Republicans all in agreement about one thing...

Nobody likes the Clinton modus operandus.

Obama may preach a desire to bring the country together, but Hillary is delivering on the promise ;-)

Blog Reader is Engaged...Breakup Doctor Plays Small Role

Long time readers of the blog know Tjada as an avid commenter, a diehard reader, and a fierce believer in liberal politics.

We love her for her intelligence, candor, and commitment. In fact, a few readers have said to me that they "look forward to the day when" they each can meet her face to face.

Well, today, we wish Tjada a hearty "Mazal Tov" because she is newly engaged to be married.

And, would you believe it, the Breakup Doctor had a role to play! Not enough, I think to get "Olam Ha-Ba" credit, however.

Just for fun, I called Tjada on Friday afternoon to get her take on the Clinton-Obama mess. It was a good chat and at one point, she said something (I think we were talking about Jeremiah Wright) like, "talking to you is good for me, it gives me perspective."

So, I say, "what am I, the token white guy?" :-)

And we both say, "no, there's Joe." (her boyfriend)

At which point she says, "hey, let me ask you your opinion on a relationship issue."

I won't go into the details of it, but I'll just say that it is no different than most couples (and it is the number one reason for divorce).

Anyway, I gave her some suggestions and then pulled a line out from the Breakup Doctor Manual.

"Either we're having fun or we're in this together."

Well, tonight she emails me to say thanks for the advice, they had a healthy chat (the first step to a successful marriage, IMHO), and afterwards, Joe took her out for dinner and proposed. She even used the line!

The NFO and I are so pumped and invite you all to wish her the best.

Can't help but smile, quote of the day

Paco was roaming around the back of the minivan. We were trying to get to school.

Finally, I picked him up and unceremoniously tossed him (lightly) into the car seat.

He was angry.

"Leave me ALONE!!!" he shouted.

"We do not talk to our Abba [father] that way," I replied.

He looked at me with his still angry face and said:

"PLEASE leave me alone."

I started cracking up. Couldn't help it. He got the joke as well.

Marketing on One Foot...

There's a parable that a man goes to a famous rabbi and says "can you teach me the Torah on one foot?"

The wise sage replies, "What is hateful to you, do not do to your neighbor: that is the whole Torah while the rest is commentary; go and learn it"

While not quite as brief, I would say this...if you want to understand the fundamental shift that has occurred in marketing over the past 10 years, read this post from Seth Godin.

Permission Marketing was one of the first marketing books I read and it's been my guiding light since.

Dedicated to Panina the Cancer Slayer...

Back on July 7th, when Jacob and Panina Licht joined us for lunch, we were sidelined (or perhaps, forechecked is the better term, given their, er her, love of hockey) by the news of Panina's breast cancer diagnosis.

The community, led by some true heroines, jumped into action and, I'm excited to say, taking advantage of technology's capabilities, used the CaringBridge service to create a customized site to help them with the mundane details of life as they faced this vicious disease.

Back during my cancer treatments, I noted that I thought offering to help with specific tasks was the best way to be of assistance. My friend, Daniel, has another suggestion.

Regardless, the support was overwhelming...the only reason I know that is b/c whenever the nameless one went to the site, all of the options for assisting were already taken.

Anyhow, it's been a long 7 months for the Lichts as they've endured surgery, chemo, and radiation.  I'd spoken w/Panina on the phone a few times (usually trying to persuade Jacob to get out of the house for a bit and provide me with an excuse to drink scotch without getting a look from the nameless one), but hadn't seen her since then.

There are moments in life when you just feel the spiritual force descend upon you.

It so happens the portion of the Torah read in synagogue this morning concerned the giving of the Ten Commandments by God at Mt. Sinai, a spiritual moment, indeed.

And I felt a tremendous sense of spirituality when I turned this morning and saw Panina for the first time walk into the social hall with a big grin on her face.

With her treatments behind her and on the road to recovery, she exuded the positive lifeforce for which she is widely known and demonstrated that, indeed, "where there is a will, there is a way." Her motto, of sorts, based on her favorite show was "Panina the Cancer Slayer."

When I called tonight to make sure that a blog post about her would be ok (hey, that's progress compared to Albany, right?), the conversation turned to a feature article in US News in which she was mentioned (I stay away from 'mainstream media,' so I didn't know about it.)

In it, the author raises the question that women under 40 should, despite medical conventional wisdom to the contrary, actually go for a baseline mammogram. The odds, however, are VERY slim that any one of them has it.

Now, Panina and Jacob are graduates of the U. of Chicago, the Economics department of which is famous for its free market thinking, so I know the kind of debates that may be ok with them, may not be ok with others. (In fact, Jacob has told me once that he reads only 2 blogs, besides mine...and the bloggers are both Nobel Prize winners in Economics-not bad company, eh? Here's one of them.)

"Panina," I said. "You realize that your experience could single-handedly lead to a massive increase in US healthcare expenditures as women who are at minimal risk clamor for mammograms."

"It already has," she replied. "Most of my friends are now going."

I thought back to a fantastic book I read, the Epidemic of Care about this exact topic. It's when people demand/expect the highest level of care, regardless of the cost. I was reminded of the debate I had here on the blog about my grandmother's $3,000 a month medicine... and whether it was worth it or not...on a societal level.

"How much should society be willing to pay for the one person like you who gets detected early?"
[remember please, Panina is a unique woman who can maintain the macro view of a situation despite her obvious personal interest in it]

"Well, it's worth it for that one woman."

"Sure, and at $10 to society, no question. But, what about $1 billion or $10 billion?"

"How much is a life worth?"

"And that is the problem with healthcare..."

But, that's a topic for another day. Today we celebrate the miracles of modern medicine and the strength of human will and perseverance.

It was good to see you, Nina!

Meeting Your Idols...

When I interview people for a position, I often ask them about their passions outside of work.

You know why?

I like to find people like me. People who, in their own free time, pursue activities that are similar to what they get paid to do.

On my own time (after the kids are in bed and the usual "life stuff" -exercise is in that category), you know what I do?

1. I read, study, and think about marketing
2. I play around with technology to increase my understanding and productivity
3. I work my network and communication skills

It's true.

Now, in category #1, there are some folks I listen to more than others. There are a lot of self-proclaimed "marketing pundits" out there (I think I am one as well!) but I have a Hall of Fame.

And, in that group, are Jackie Huba and Ben McConnell.

Their book, Citizen Marketers, and their blog, Church of the Customer, are at the top of my list in terms of reorienting my way of thinking around the new age of marketing/customer relationship in which we find ourselves.

When you read a blog, you get to know the author(s) on a different level than if you read an article or a book.

I know Jackie is a football fan (Steelers). I know they moved from Chicago to Austin last year. I know that Ben likes music.

Over time, I've built a relationship with them.

First was my *famous* series of Metamucil related posts. Then, I won a contest on their blog. We "friended" on Facebook.

So, I summoned the courage ;-) a few weeks back and said, "hey, I'll be in Austin on Jan. 15th, would you like to meet up?"

They went for it!

And, for me, at least, it was just a great experience. Having some serious 1:2 time with two of the leading thinkers where I could pose specific questions about my business and career to them and get personalized feedback...which I'd 'earned' in the sense of participation within their community.

On Saunas, Rice, and Exercise

You know how I love conversations in the sauna. You meet the best people there.

Today, Sunny, the owner of Dana Bazar in Rockville, an Indian grocery store, and I started up a chat.

He tells me that he needs to lose 20-30 pounds, but he's lazy.

Well, five minutes later, I am doing my best to pump him up and get him focused.

What's more...he's agreed that, for every day he doesn't get on the treadmill, I get a bag of "great Indian basmati rice."

The other guy in the sauna asks, "so what does he get from you if he doesn't get on the treadmill?"

Sunny answers, "he saves my life and helps prevent a heart attack!"

There you go...

 

 

 

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Is It Worth It?

One of the benefits and curses of my previous life as an entrepreneur (remember SilentFrog.com?) is that I tend to think like an owner.

I debate spending more money than I have to on travel, for example, and I get irritated when things aren't perfect.

In a small company, that can make or break you.

In a large company, with 80,000 people, it's easy to feel divorced from that sense of ownership. Yes, it's your money (as a shareholder), but it doesn't feel that way always....and when you see something broken, you can easily say, "it's not my problem" or "I can't fix everything so I just have to let it go."

But, something inside of me can't allow that.

There are many great things about working at Microsoft, but there's one element of our Human Resources process that really irritates me. As an owner, I feel the need to raise the awareness of the person responsible for it and share some of my frustration. I have a sense of ownership that I want it to be better.

On the other hand, is it worth it?

The VP to whom I write may say, "who the hell is this guy sending me a note?" or worse, I suppose.

I see it in the macro sense...if we don't fix this, it's another potential weakness.

But, in a situation where the risk outweighs the reward (risk of a handslap yes, but risk of non-response and opportunity cost of the time and reward of 'hey thanks, we're on it), is it worth it?

Getting Your Bearings...

Paco knows that he can't come into our room (or snuggle in bed with us) until 7 am. And, to his credit, he's getting better at knowing the difference between the hour 7 and whenever he sees a "7" on the clock, as in 5:17.

So, he comes in on Sunday morning and says, "It is 7 o'clock!"

And he's right. He says:

"I want my breakfast, please!"

"Hold on," I respond, "let me get my bearings."

"Why do you need that?" he asks.

The nameless one and I can't help but laugh, so Monday AM, in an instant replay of Sunday, I figure I'll try it again.

"Let me get my bearings."

And, witty as ever, the boy responds,

"where do you think they are?"

I start laughing. He continues to prod for his breakfast.

"Hang on, I have to get my bearings," seeing how many times the joke will go on.

He walks over to the sink in the bathroom and yells,

"I FOUND THEM. THEY ARE OVER HERE!!"

Eavesdropping pays....

By the time I got to the gate for my flight to Houston, the seats immediately around it were mostly occupied.

I went across the way and took a seat there, noticing as I did, that the flight departing from that gate was also going to Baltimore, only it was scheduled for 2 hours later.

Soon after I got there, the first announcement came over the PA

"We have mechanics on the plane right now. We will update you in 20 minutes."

The time for update kept getting pushed back.

I saw a man approach the desk of the gate for the later Baltimore flight.

He looked familiar. I knew where I had met him, but his name, at the moment, escaped me.

As I stared at him, I started listening to his conversation with the gate agent.

"I want to switch to this flight to Baltimore. If they aren't going to tell us the situation until 6pm, that means we're not leaving until 6.45pm, at the earliest. This flight is at 7.15pm and it's guaranteed."

"Brilliant," I thought. The old "bird in the hand" adage at play.

I approached him and after a minute, Charlie and I had reconnected. Equally important...he saved my travel experience home!

And to continue the bird analogy..."two birds with one stone." Got to reconnect with a first-rate technologist AND got home earlier. For all I know, that other plane is still in Houston.