Sometimes we do things that we know will shape our identity. Marriage, graduation, changing jobs, whatever.
Sometimes our identity is formed without our knowledge.
As I was rocking Calanit today while giving her a bottle, a few thoughts crossed my mind. In a few months, this girl is going to become somebody’s big sister and she has absolutely no idea about that. Yet, it will be a critical part of her identity for the rest of her life.
While rocking her, I had a different and perhaps related thought about the lineage to which we both belong. I pictured my mother rocking me and my grandmother rocking her…all the way back. I thought about all of the hours of labor and the love what went into putting me into that chair at that moment so I could rock that sweet, little girl to sleep. Such an amazing testament to the human saga.
Monday, March 14, 2005
Sunday, March 13, 2005
A walk in the park
Sometimes I can’t help but think that old cliché of “my little girl is growing up so quickly.”
Yesterday, we took her to a park and for the first time, she was walking around in a pair of shoes. (Last week, she officially entered the Toddler stage). As Tamar and I helped her get used to walking outside and in shoes, I felt a lump in my throat. My little girl is walking around the playground, doing the things that “bigger kids.” I felt very paternal as I sat her on my lap and we went down the slide together and sat on the swings together.
Knowing all too well that these moments will soon be gone and a distant memory, I did my best to take a digital, mental snapshot of the moment in an effort (hopefully not in vain) to hold on to this feeling and cherish the moment
Labels:
family
Saturday, March 12, 2005
On the formation of Identity
Sometimes we do things that we know will shape our identity. Marriage, graduation, changing jobs, whatever.
Sometimes our identity is formed without our knowledge.
As I was rocking Calanit today while giving her a bottle, a few thoughts crossed my mind. In a few months, this girl is going to become somebody’s big sister and she has absolutely no idea about that. Yet, it will be a critical part of her identity for the rest of her life.
While rocking her, I had a different and perhaps related thought about the lineage to which we both belong. I pictured my mother rocking me and my grandmother rocking her…all the way back. I thought about all of the hours of labor and the love what went into putting me into that chair at that moment so I could rock that sweet, little girl to sleep. Such an amazing testament to the human saga.
Sometimes we do things that we know will shape our identity. Marriage, graduation, changing jobs, whatever.
Sometimes our identity is formed without our knowledge.
As I was rocking Calanit today while giving her a bottle, a few thoughts crossed my mind. In a few months, this girl is going to become somebody’s big sister and she has absolutely no idea about that. Yet, it will be a critical part of her identity for the rest of her life.
While rocking her, I had a different and perhaps related thought about the lineage to which we both belong. I pictured my mother rocking me and my grandmother rocking her…all the way back. I thought about all of the hours of labor and the love what went into putting me into that chair at that moment so I could rock that sweet, little girl to sleep. Such an amazing testament to the human saga.
On the formation of Identity
Sometimes we do things that we know will shape our identity. Marriage, graduation, changing jobs, whatever.
Sometimes our identity is formed without our knowledge.
As I was rocking Calanit today while giving her a bottle, a few thoughts crossed my mind. In a few months, this girl is going to become somebody’s big sister and she has absolutely no idea about that. Yet, it will be a critical part of her identity for the rest of her life.
While rocking her, I had a different and perhaps related thought about the lineage to which we both belong. I pictured my mother rocking me and my grandmother rocking her…all the way back. I thought about all of the hours of labor and the love what went into putting me into that chair at that moment so I could rock that sweet, little girl to sleep. Such an amazing testament to the human saga.
Sometimes we do things that we know will shape our identity. Marriage, graduation, changing jobs, whatever.
Sometimes our identity is formed without our knowledge.
As I was rocking Calanit today while giving her a bottle, a few thoughts crossed my mind. In a few months, this girl is going to become somebody’s big sister and she has absolutely no idea about that. Yet, it will be a critical part of her identity for the rest of her life.
While rocking her, I had a different and perhaps related thought about the lineage to which we both belong. I pictured my mother rocking me and my grandmother rocking her…all the way back. I thought about all of the hours of labor and the love what went into putting me into that chair at that moment so I could rock that sweet, little girl to sleep. Such an amazing testament to the human saga.
On the formation of Identity
Sometimes we do things that we know will shape our identity. Marriage, graduation, changing jobs, whatever.
Sometimes our identity is formed without our knowledge.
As I was rocking Calanit today while giving her a bottle, a few thoughts crossed my mind. In a few months, this girl is going to become somebody’s big sister and she has absolutely no idea about that. Yet, it will be a critical part of her identity for the rest of her life.
While rocking her, I had a different and perhaps related thought about the lineage to which we both belong. I pictured my mother rocking me and my grandmother rocking her…all the way back. I thought about all of the hours of labor and the love what went into putting me into that chair at that moment so I could rock that sweet, little girl to sleep. Such an amazing testament to the human saga.
Sometimes we do things that we know will shape our identity. Marriage, graduation, changing jobs, whatever.
Sometimes our identity is formed without our knowledge.
As I was rocking Calanit today while giving her a bottle, a few thoughts crossed my mind. In a few months, this girl is going to become somebody’s big sister and she has absolutely no idea about that. Yet, it will be a critical part of her identity for the rest of her life.
While rocking her, I had a different and perhaps related thought about the lineage to which we both belong. I pictured my mother rocking me and my grandmother rocking her…all the way back. I thought about all of the hours of labor and the love what went into putting me into that chair at that moment so I could rock that sweet, little girl to sleep. Such an amazing testament to the human saga.
On the formation of Identity
Sometimes we do things that we know will shape our identity. Marriage, graduation, changing jobs, whatever.
Sometimes our identity is formed without our knowledge.
As I was rocking Calanit today while giving her a bottle, a few thoughts crossed my mind. In a few months, this girl is going to become somebody’s big sister and she has absolutely no idea about that. Yet, it will be a critical part of her identity for the rest of her life.
While rocking her, I had a different and perhaps related thought about the lineage to which we both belong. I pictured my mother rocking me and my grandmother rocking her…all the way back. I thought about all of the hours of labor and the love what went into putting me into that chair at that moment so I could rock that sweet, little girl to sleep. Such an amazing testament to the human saga.
Sometimes we do things that we know will shape our identity. Marriage, graduation, changing jobs, whatever.
Sometimes our identity is formed without our knowledge.
As I was rocking Calanit today while giving her a bottle, a few thoughts crossed my mind. In a few months, this girl is going to become somebody’s big sister and she has absolutely no idea about that. Yet, it will be a critical part of her identity for the rest of her life.
While rocking her, I had a different and perhaps related thought about the lineage to which we both belong. I pictured my mother rocking me and my grandmother rocking her…all the way back. I thought about all of the hours of labor and the love what went into putting me into that chair at that moment so I could rock that sweet, little girl to sleep. Such an amazing testament to the human saga.
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
Chalk one up for Economics...
There's a concept in economics known as "Expected Value." Last night, it paid off for me.
Got a call from a market research firm. They wanted 20 minutes of my time to answer questions about my new computer purchase. In return, they offered me a 1 in 10 chance of a $50 gift certificate.
That make the "expected value" of my 20 minute $5. In other words, my time is worth $15/hour. Now, you could say, what would I do with the time otherwise? However, I quickly made the calculation and determined that I could potentially earn more than $5 by reviewing some stocks in my portfolio and taking an online course, which I did.
I told the guy that my time was worth more than that, said thanks, and hung up.
There's a concept in economics known as "Expected Value." Last night, it paid off for me.
Got a call from a market research firm. They wanted 20 minutes of my time to answer questions about my new computer purchase. In return, they offered me a 1 in 10 chance of a $50 gift certificate.
That make the "expected value" of my 20 minute $5. In other words, my time is worth $15/hour. Now, you could say, what would I do with the time otherwise? However, I quickly made the calculation and determined that I could potentially earn more than $5 by reviewing some stocks in my portfolio and taking an online course, which I did.
I told the guy that my time was worth more than that, said thanks, and hung up.
Sunday, March 06, 2005
Saturday, March 05, 2005
Getting into the rhythm of the house.
Since the time we decided to buy the house, I've kept a running project plan of things that have to get done. It's usually been about 3-7 items/day. I'm finally at the point (coinciding w/the 3 month mark which I originally set) where I'm down to a few per week. The list is quite long, but now they are "nice to do's" as opposed to "must do."
It's a good feeling.
Of course, I know it's only a matter of time until the next issue arises.
Since the time we decided to buy the house, I've kept a running project plan of things that have to get done. It's usually been about 3-7 items/day. I'm finally at the point (coinciding w/the 3 month mark which I originally set) where I'm down to a few per week. The list is quite long, but now they are "nice to do's" as opposed to "must do."
It's a good feeling.
Of course, I know it's only a matter of time until the next issue arises.
Thursday, March 03, 2005
Paradigm Shift
I remember when I first learned the word 'paradigm.' I was in a Maryland state summer 'gifted and talented' program during High School.
The instructor showed us a new type of bicycle seat (one pad for each butt cheek) and talked about a new paradigm.
Recently, I bought a Media Center PC, which is a computer, but also a TV w/TiVo like functionality.
It still hasn't sunk in yet that the way I watch TV is changing, yet slowly it is.
I do pull-ups three times a week and usually do something in between each set (say write a few emails or what have you.) Last night, I was watching West Wing and at some point, it dawned on me that I didn't have to wait for the commercial to do the next set. I just paused it and was off, then returned. Same thing for when the phone rang.
Paradigm shift. What does it mean? Not sure entirely, but very cool.
I remember when I first learned the word 'paradigm.' I was in a Maryland state summer 'gifted and talented' program during High School.
The instructor showed us a new type of bicycle seat (one pad for each butt cheek) and talked about a new paradigm.
Recently, I bought a Media Center PC, which is a computer, but also a TV w/TiVo like functionality.
It still hasn't sunk in yet that the way I watch TV is changing, yet slowly it is.
I do pull-ups three times a week and usually do something in between each set (say write a few emails or what have you.) Last night, I was watching West Wing and at some point, it dawned on me that I didn't have to wait for the commercial to do the next set. I just paused it and was off, then returned. Same thing for when the phone rang.
Paradigm shift. What does it mean? Not sure entirely, but very cool.
Monday, February 28, 2005
Launched an unprovoked snowball attack on my neighbors this afternoon. Made me feel old and young at the same time.
They have 4 kids and three of them were outside. The 10, 7, and 5 year old. I had a great time playing with them. It was a fun way to let off some steam. Made me feel young.
During the course of the "fight," I noticed they never really came after me. I asked why they weren't attacking me. The eldest asked, "is it ok if we come in your yard?"
Man, now I'm the old guy who owns the yard next door. Made me feel old.
They have 4 kids and three of them were outside. The 10, 7, and 5 year old. I had a great time playing with them. It was a fun way to let off some steam. Made me feel young.
During the course of the "fight," I noticed they never really came after me. I asked why they weren't attacking me. The eldest asked, "is it ok if we come in your yard?"
Man, now I'm the old guy who owns the yard next door. Made me feel old.
Sunday, February 27, 2005
Saturday, February 26, 2005
Friends and Longevity
Read an article once on a research project indicating a link between elderly people who successfully avoided Alzheimers and who also maintained highly active social lives and many friends.
I look at my grandparents (85 and 83) who, thank G-d, are 100% with us and whose social life is more active than most college students. They go out, easily, 5 times a week and invest heavily in their friends and friendships.
Since Tamar and I moved to Silver Spring, we have been blessed to meet many, many wonderful people. Our primary socializing activity is shared meals on the Sabbath, either Friday night or Saturday lunchtime. We typically have 4-6 adults and the same number of children over. These obviously require a ton of preparation work and are not the most inexpensive things to do.
Today, we had one of those gatherings and I really felt a blessing. I saw 5 or 6 girls (all girls today) playing in the various rooms of the house and looked around the table at the adults, our friends, and thought about the investment we were making (in time and money :-) in these relationships and, honestly, it just felt good.
I'm very financial focus and tend to think in terms like ROI, payback period, and cost-effectiveness. Much like children, quantifying the ROI on the dollar investment isn't easy, but you just know it's worth it...it's worth more than money, obviously (that's the thing I have to remind myself when I see the credit card grocery bill) and if it pays off in the long run in terms of longevity and mental clarity, well, there's another priceless ROI calculation.
Read an article once on a research project indicating a link between elderly people who successfully avoided Alzheimers and who also maintained highly active social lives and many friends.
I look at my grandparents (85 and 83) who, thank G-d, are 100% with us and whose social life is more active than most college students. They go out, easily, 5 times a week and invest heavily in their friends and friendships.
Since Tamar and I moved to Silver Spring, we have been blessed to meet many, many wonderful people. Our primary socializing activity is shared meals on the Sabbath, either Friday night or Saturday lunchtime. We typically have 4-6 adults and the same number of children over. These obviously require a ton of preparation work and are not the most inexpensive things to do.
Today, we had one of those gatherings and I really felt a blessing. I saw 5 or 6 girls (all girls today) playing in the various rooms of the house and looked around the table at the adults, our friends, and thought about the investment we were making (in time and money :-) in these relationships and, honestly, it just felt good.
I'm very financial focus and tend to think in terms like ROI, payback period, and cost-effectiveness. Much like children, quantifying the ROI on the dollar investment isn't easy, but you just know it's worth it...it's worth more than money, obviously (that's the thing I have to remind myself when I see the credit card grocery bill) and if it pays off in the long run in terms of longevity and mental clarity, well, there's another priceless ROI calculation.
Friday, February 25, 2005
Walking....almost.
We're getting close. She prances around the house with her little mini-walker device. If you hold her hand with only one finger, she can walk around. Yesterday, she took 4 steps on her own.
I have to say I love when she's awake, but when I'm putting her to sleep and I rock her back and forth in my arms and she puts her tired head on my shoulder...that's a feeling of eternity.
I get a bit emotional every time that happens as I think about the flash in time that will occur when she will be going to school, college, and getting married, which is why I cherish these moments all the more.
We're getting close. She prances around the house with her little mini-walker device. If you hold her hand with only one finger, she can walk around. Yesterday, she took 4 steps on her own.
I have to say I love when she's awake, but when I'm putting her to sleep and I rock her back and forth in my arms and she puts her tired head on my shoulder...that's a feeling of eternity.
I get a bit emotional every time that happens as I think about the flash in time that will occur when she will be going to school, college, and getting married, which is why I cherish these moments all the more.
Monday, February 21, 2005
Taxes and Tahara
What are life’s only guarantees?
On Sunday, I dealt with both of them. I spent the bulk of the afternoon assembling all of the various 1099’s, W2’s, etc. and in the evening went to perform a Tahara as part of the Chevra Kadisha.
The Chevra Kadisha is the Jewish burial society which has the solemn duty of ritually preparing the deceased for a Jewish burial. The Tahara means the purification process.
I’d done it once before, but in a billion years, I never would have thought I would do it for a former teacher of mine. He died of a sudden heart attack in his 50’s and was ostensibly in good health. He was svelte and was an active basketball referee.
Anyway, it sure makes you think. Not only that no matter what you do from a health perspective are you not immune from the inevitability of death, but as we spend so much time focused on the day to day banalities that there are much larger forces at work and you never know when your time is up.
Balancing the need for accomplishment on a day to day basis with the looming inevitability of certain death…at a time which no human predict, now that is a worthwhile life goal.
Friday, February 18, 2005
The Epitome of Homeownership
A few weeks ago, it was pouring rain. It was early Saturday morning and I turned to Tamar and remarked about how beautiful and nice it was to have a warm house and a roof over our heads during this tremendous storm.
I walked over to the window to see how intense the rain was, put my hand down...into a pool of water. A small hole in the top of the window frame was leaking.
Homeownership in a nutshell.
A few weeks ago, it was pouring rain. It was early Saturday morning and I turned to Tamar and remarked about how beautiful and nice it was to have a warm house and a roof over our heads during this tremendous storm.
I walked over to the window to see how intense the rain was, put my hand down...into a pool of water. A small hole in the top of the window frame was leaking.
Homeownership in a nutshell.
Sunday, February 13, 2005
Friday, February 11, 2005
the price of heat...
When we moved into the house, I told myself that I'd take 3 months to just let things happen w/o worrying about money. I needed to get some sort of baseline.
I know that winter is obviously the time of the year when heating bills will be largest. I've prepared by putting storm doors on each entrance, adding insulation to the attic. We have 2 pane windows as well.
I got my first heating bill last month and it was 300. I was taken aback, but stayed calm-true to my word. I responded and set the thermostat to be lower during the day when we weren't at home and frankly, it was low when we were at home. Today, I am shell shocked. The bill came for 500! I am thinking "holy crap, I can't afford to live in this house." I have no idea how this happened and I wouldn't say I'm panicking, but I am quite concerned.
I'm open to ideas...or maybe this is just what heating costs these days.
I did put out a request for an energy efficiency audit, but the firm doesn't check the proper functioning of the furnace or hot water heater. Something is wrong, I think (I hope).
Thoughts?
Saturday, February 05, 2005
Excerpt from a letter to a friend...
“I owe you an apology that it has taken this long to respond. As I am sure you know, once you have kids (and a house for that matter), most things you’d really like to do take a back seat. Just the other day, however, Tamar (my wife) sent me one of the fwd’s (attached) that said, basically: “appreciate your friends and do it today,” so that has motivated me to take a moment out of my Sunday (which is my 1-1 day w/Calanit, my daughter, since Tamar works) to write to you.
We’ve had a good day, but now I need some quiet time for myself. I am gearing up for the Super bowl, which means I’ll watch it as I work.
I think the thing I struggle most with these days is, plain and simple, balance. Though I guess that’s a constant, but now it’s more pronounced as I certainly don’t want to miss my daughter growing up and I realize that long term, the time I spend with her now is the best thing for her, but of course, I have the pragmatic considerations of bills and mortgage. I do my best to “be here now” and focus on her, but sometimes, I will admit, the more mundane aspects of life get in my way. Trying to keep it in perspective, not always successful.”
“I owe you an apology that it has taken this long to respond. As I am sure you know, once you have kids (and a house for that matter), most things you’d really like to do take a back seat. Just the other day, however, Tamar (my wife) sent me one of the fwd’s (attached) that said, basically: “appreciate your friends and do it today,” so that has motivated me to take a moment out of my Sunday (which is my 1-1 day w/Calanit, my daughter, since Tamar works) to write to you.
We’ve had a good day, but now I need some quiet time for myself. I am gearing up for the Super bowl, which means I’ll watch it as I work.
I think the thing I struggle most with these days is, plain and simple, balance. Though I guess that’s a constant, but now it’s more pronounced as I certainly don’t want to miss my daughter growing up and I realize that long term, the time I spend with her now is the best thing for her, but of course, I have the pragmatic considerations of bills and mortgage. I do my best to “be here now” and focus on her, but sometimes, I will admit, the more mundane aspects of life get in my way. Trying to keep it in perspective, not always successful.”
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