On helping out around the house...

I was speaking to a younger colleague of mine the other day and she was telling me how she was a bit concerned about her boyfriend. She suggested that he wasn't sensitive or thoughtful enough.

She asked me about my relationship with Tamar. When I was done telling her what I do and do not do, she said, "you know, I feel a lot better about Will now. I think I've been too hard on him."

Some of the winning examples include:
1. Tamar likes getting flowers on Friday afternoon before the Sabbath. When we lived in NYC, I was great at accomplishing this goal. Now, however, after a few weeks of failing when we first moved here, Tamar buys her own flowers and says they are from me.
2. Since we moved here 2.5 years ago, I've been to the grocery store maybe 5 times. I went to Costco for the first time last week (and only because I wanted to buy a TV)
3. The last time I was at Giant was Dec. 12, 2003 (and that was because Calanit was born 2 days before)
4. I haven't done laundry since we moved into the house.

These are but a few examples...now I do manage a lot of the finances and other tasks, it's not that I'm useless, but Tamar and I realize that we should each focus on our core competencies and if it's not one of my core competencies, I have no choice but to outsource (to her)

Also last week, I was talking to two friends of ours who are, unfortunately, contemplating divorce. I went through the same shpiel and by virtue of so doing, made the husband look pretty good. Don't know if it will save the marriage though.

So, now, if Tamar asks me to do something, say clean up after dinner, I tell her that I have to decline simply because these relationships are built upon the fact that I am an insensitive and unthoughtful husband. It's a tough job, but someone's got to do it.