Thursday, March 02, 2017

Thoughts on Love, Marriage, and Relationships

Over the course of 25 years and approximately 1800 calls per year, you get to learn a lot about people, lives, and relationships.

Sadly, you see a lot of marriages form and then dissolve.

It's part of life, I know, and not every marriage is meant to be.  Sometimes, no matter what, it can't be saved.

I think one thing (there are many) that seems to separate the happier marriages from (some of) the more troubled marriages is the perspective that people take about what "love" is.

In my mind, one of the better definitions is that love isn't really a noun. 

It's a verb.

It's a series of actions based on compassion and understanding of the needs of others.

It's actions that speak louder than words. 

This African proverb sums it up about as well as I've ever seen.

Western civilization has idealized, in my opinion, Love as a feeling that is either present or not. I just wonder if that's a disservice, in some respects.

The feeling of Love is internal to you/each of us, the action of Love is towards another person/external.

Perhaps another explanation comes from the classic Fiddler on the Roof song, "Do you Love me?"

The whole point's the day-in, day-out actions of caring for another person, putting their needs first, and supporting them in what they want to accomplish that makes up Love.

Dedicated to the memory of my grandparents, as today is their wedding anniversary. They were the picture of both kinds of Love.

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