Your Quality of Life Directive…

Let’s say you are (God forbid) in a horrific car accident.

Then, you are in a coma, on a ventilator and using a feeding tube.

What happens now?

Many of us have wills explaining what will happen when we die, but given the state of medical science now (and the cost associated with that), have you taken the time to explain what you want to happen if you are technically alive, but not really living?

I’ve been thinking about this a lot recently, following my recent chat with Susanne Carlson (on a plane, so no link at the moment).

As a culture, my impression is that we don’t spend a lot of time with our loved ones (and those who would bear the brunt of the burden) sharing with them our wishes for care in these extreme circumstances.

It’s naive to think “that kind of thing happens to other people,” of course, so what’s holding you back?

Fear?

Of what?

Of telling your kids and friends and lovers that you may die one day?

I’d rather say, “hey, look, things happen and hopefully it won’t, but if I’m ever in a situation like that and these quality of life criteria aren’t met, then you know what? Pull the plug and get on with your lives.”

According to Susanne’s data, only 5% of people die peacefully from “natural causes.”

The rest of us?

We're going to have some malady that forces the end.

So, get your healthcare power of attorney done and your healthcare directive done (this isn’t expensive and I bet that templates can be downloaded for free somewhere online).

What do mine look like?

I am going to flush them out (pending feedback) over time, but for starters, I’d say something like the following:

1. if I have to be fed intravenously for more than 2 months
2. if I am in a coma for more than 2 months
3. if my care requires me to be on a ventilator for more than 1 month
4. if my cognitive ability is impaired to the point where I can’t recognize my own family members
5. if I require 24/7 care

I don’t really know if this makes any sense at all.

But I do know that it is critical to have the conversation BEFORE YOU HAVE NO CHOICE and before the added stress of the moment puts the burden (unfairly in my opinion) on your loved ones.