Sunday, March 24, 2013

“They’re not telling anyone.”

I heard some bad news a few weeks ago. Actually, I discovered it by accident, when a friend of mine let it slip that a mutual friend from college had recently been diagnosed with cancer.

“But,” he said, “they’re not telling anyone. In fact, his mom thinks it should be a total secret.”

Now, it’s pretty well known that I don’t mind sharing my medical condition publicly (see here for thyroid cancer story), but I need some of my introvert friends to explain this approach to me.

Assuming that the medical condition is not because of something you did like shoot up heroin with drug addicts in Thailand or whatever and it’s not your fault at all, why keep it a secret?

If it’s not a secret, your friends (whose help you need), can help you.

What’s more, when it’s a secret, people actually talk about it MORE.

When everyone knows, it’s not news anymore.

So, the “we’re not talking about it,” seems like it defeats the purpose of secrecy since everyone kind of knows anyway.

What am I missing here?

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