Sewage Pipes and Why I Love Blogging...

Image via WikipediaThe skeptics and naysayers often ask me "why do you put so much useless stuff on your blog? Who wants to read about your sewage problem?"

The answer is: I don't know.

But what I do know is that IF I write about it in an interesting way, then people will read about it, but the BEST part is when I get valuable input as a result.

"Why do you have to tell the world?"

I don't, but the thing is, I don't know what my network knows.

By putting information out there, the people who do know will tell me what I need to know. And this happens...A LOT. Which is why I keep doing it.

So, for the rest of you, here is Steve's note:

 We had a similar problem. You need to put copper sulfate crystals in the system every 6 months or so.  The crystals inhibit the growth of roots.  You can buy it at Home Depot or online, and you just flush a jar of the stuff down the basement toilet twice a year.   There also are some other stronger products that can kill off small roots before they grow.  We had a similar blockage years ago and the plumber recommended this treatment.  So far, so good. 

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Thank You Note Bankruptcy and the Beauty of a Blog Community…

I was just loving the multiple, varied, and challenging responses to my post on Thank You Note Bankruptcy as they came in.

This is why I tell people that I think the comments are the BEST part of the blogging experience. I like how commenters respond and build on each other. This is what makes us a mini-community and why people say that “blogs are conversations.”

So, jump in and add a comment.

Now, onto the matter at hand.

There were some AMAZING comments. What’s better than having your readers quote back your previous posts to you and telling you that you are a hypocrite?

I’ll tell you: NOTHING! Well done, Ben.

Now, Gadi led the charge in asking for my response. And, if I were smart, I would have buried this in the pre-4th of July deadzone so people wouldn’t see how much of a beating I took, but you know me and 2400 posts into the FOJ blog, that’s not how I roll.

Anyway, there are two points here.

1. Is it ungrateful to not write a note or at least somehow acknowledge the gift?
2. What is the point of the gift-giving process?

Let’s dispatch with number 1. I’ll grant that it’s ungrateful to not acknowledge. I’m all in favor of acknowledging, I was just asking about notes. The consensus seems to be stop blogging, write some T.Y. notes. Ok, done.

Now, the second point, for which Jamie and Keren were the primary proponents, that gift-giving is about BOTH the giver and the receiver.

Jamie wrote:

when you shun the whole process, or try to engineer it for some people, you are taking away something from them. Gift-givers get something out of going out of their way to give you something. At least I know I do. I enjoy thinking about a couple or a family on a special occasion and trying to figure out what they need and how I can give them something to help with that need.

And Keren wrote:

While I am not opposed to registries, gift-giving is neither entirely about the recipient, nor entirely about the giver - it is about both. Which is why, sometimes, there is special value in the giver going outside of the registry box to think about what would be a good gift for the recipient (although, as I have said before, the process should not be unduly influenced by the giver's own preferences).

But, here is the part I can’t reconcile.

Both of them say that one of the best parts of the process for the giver is in the effort to try and find that good gift for the recipient. Their intentions are pure, they want to get a “fit” based on a whole slew of criteria. Great.

But, as we all know, some times the giver is wrong in his/her assessment of what is a perfect fit. (Let’s assume that a portion of those were from people with Keren/Jamie pure intentions.)

So, for the sake of argument, let’s say that the Keren/Jamie’s of the world (hereafter: KJ) are right in their “out of the box” thinking 65% of the time that a non-registry gift is a good fit. Whereas, if you give a gift that is off the registry, it is 100% certain that it is a good fit.

According to their logic then, they’d rather have a 65% chance of having a perfect fit and a 35% chance of giving a gift that isn’t right than taking the 100% guarantee.

But, I guess it comes down to process vs. results.

I am focused on results, not on process. So, for me, that doesn’t work.

If I give you a gift, I want to KNOW that I have given you something that you value.

(Maybe that’s a global micro-brand thing, I don’t know, but I know the reactions I have had (and I’ve seen from others) when you get a gift that is just a dud. You want to be grateful, but man, who really needs this thing, right?)

KJ, on the other hand, puts more emphasis on the process of gift giving.

They enjoy the thought, preparation, search, the creative aspect of aligning all of the factors that come into playa, and challenge of finding the perfect fit.

To me, that just doesn’t make sense, since I’d rather have the bird in the hand, so to speak.

Frankly, it also seems a bit selfish. If the gift is FOR the other person, then the only thing that matters is whether it benefits the other person or not. In the KJ scenario, they are perfectly happy that they enjoyed the process of finding the perfect gift even though they actually didn’t accomplish that goal 35% of the time (or whatever it is, but we know it is less than 100%).

I guess KJ likes the self-deception :-)

The process (and results) are about the recipient, not about the giver, nor what I get out of the process as the giver.

I’m going to pay for this one.

Ok, readers…you smell blood in the water, now go for it!

Fight back against aggressive drivers….Help test the site

So I was driving the 3 kids in the minivan, obeying the speed limit…

Don’t know if I was an easy target, but on three separate occasions, I was confronted with an overly aggressive driver.

One of them flipped me off. One of them honked. One of them rolled down the window and yelled, “Bitch!” No joke.

I was infuriated.

Now, I didn’t want to return the gesture or get into a shouting match. Not only would it send the wrong message to my kids, but with road rage these days, you never know, right?

So, I went to my strength. Technology. And, together, with a great friend, we’ve put together a site that gives all of us a way to vent our frustrations at aggressive drivers.

But, we need your help.

First off, we need a name (but that can come later).

For now, we need an assessment of the experience of using the site (not design, just functionality).

• Does it solve a problem?
• Does it make you feel better?
• It it easy to use?

So, next time you come across some jerk on the road, here’s how you can retaliate without his (or her) even knowing.

1. Use your phone and send a text message to 41411
   
   The format of the message has to be:
   
   DRIVR [2 Char State] [license plate#] message (optional)
   
   For example:
   Drivr MD Luv2Drv loser!!
   Drivr NY abc123 jerk!
   
   
2. You can also use Twitter: send a tweet to @Drivr
   
3. Or, you can just visit the web site and fill out the form
   (plus, you’ll see a ranking of most aggressive drivers in every state…eventually)

So, what do you think?

On the wish list already, submit by email

A taste of the world to come...

Usually, I blog with the reader in mind, but this one is just for me.

You're welcome to read along, of course.

There's a saying about the Jewish sabbath that it is M'ayn Olam HaBa, literally "from the world to come" (as in heaven, afterlife, etc.).

Many simply say "a taste/foreshadowing of the World to Come."

Today was one of those days for me.

Took Tonka and Paco to synagogue with me, where I read Torah. Had a great time as I pushed them in the stroller (great workout!) through the park and they laughed with each other.

Afterwards, I turned them loose on a new playground at an elementary school.

Sat outside (just gorgeous weather) on the bench (thanks, Dad!) reading while the two of them sprayed water on the pavement and our cars.

After lunch and a nap, we were off to one of our closest friend's birthday dessert party. Then, took the three of them (2 in the stroller, one in the Bjorn) to the baby naming for the daughter of some other close friends.

I must have walked 3.5 miles today pushing 70 lbs of weight (my calves are hurting!)

For someone who loves socializing, it was just a tremendous set of opportunities.

And, after coming back home, I took the girls to see some friends staying a few houses down, where we had a 30 minute chat.

Of all of today's images, the one I love the most is seeing Paco/Tonka running and laughing across the basketball court at the playground.

The weather was idyllic. The kids, for the most part, were well behaved. We saw so many wonderful friends and had such great conversations. Ate well. Just feel like we truly lived today.

If this is what the "world to come," is like, it'll be worth it.

Bring optimism to a battered woman on Mother's Day...

Not  that my blog is the biggest or the baddest, but from time to time, I get requests from people that say, "hey, will you put this on your blog?"

Most of the time, there's really no context and it just proves to me that  they don't really read the blog.

However, sometimes, I get a note that just touches me and really is a worthwhile cause.

My longtime friend, Roz, works at Jewish Women's International focused on raising awareness and doing something regarding violence against women.

They have a meaningful Mother's Day activity where you can send a card/flowers to a woman in a shelter and bring some light to their lives.

It's not an expensive proposition, but it's clear from the testimonials that it means a lot.

Need to act fast, orders must be in by May 5th.

From Roz:

Supporting the Flower Project is easy: Just visit the Flower Project online contribution page to make a secure donation online. In case that link doesn't work, please go to www.jwi.org. (You can also learn more about the project and see the card JWI will send to your honorees.)

Catered Anniversary Dinner

I made a mistake last week.

One of the wonderful aspects of our community is that other families will prepare meals for you in the weeks following the birth of a newborn.

When Tamar Teitelbaum called and asked which day was good, I let it slip that the 18th was our anniversary.

Well, a framed menu and a 1st rate meal later....our compliments to the chef.

So, I don't write a card, but I have a world-class chef prepare a meal for us :-)

Romantic! And yes, I drank the champagne.

----------------
Now playing: Copland - Fanfare for the Common Man
via FoxyTunes

On Social Networking and Social Lubricants...

If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times..."The #1 reason why people go to events is to meet other people."

It's not about the (often boring) powerpoint presentation. It's about your ability as a host to create an environment that is a social lubricant and helps people meet each other.

This morning, after seeing his "tweet" on Twitter and clicking through to the event invite on Facebook, I joined a number of other "fans/friends of Jeff Pulver" at a networking breakfast.

Networking events run the gamut, but Jeff understands his role as well as anyone. He utilized his newly created Jeff Pulver "Real-Time Social Media Networking Kit".

It employs the concept of "tags" and "labels" to facilitate networking.

So, as I am walking around, I see someone named Jimmy Gardner. His label said "passionate technologist." As I often think of myself in these terms, I began the conversation.

Well, was I lucky!

Jimmy's got a little app at www.mydropbin.com which, I think, has some pretty cool potential in terms of the way we save and share REALLY large files.  (Full disclosure: I haven't tested it out yet, so can't vouch for quality, but the concept made a TON of sense to me).

Once you have a conversation with someone, you write a "tag" (a term that describes the nature of the chat or something you associate with that person) on a small sticker and then place it on their "tag cloud."

So, after talking to Thomas Vander Wal, where I found out that he is recognized as the creator of the term "Folksonomy" in Wikipedia, I wrote "Wikipedia" and put it in his tag cloud.

And, lastly, you could, like in Facebook, write something on a person's "public wall." So, Eric Litman, managing director of WashingtonVC, who was looking very slick, IMHO, in his velvet sport jacket, got a "nice jacket!" post on his wall from me.

Just a great morning (including David Vyorst, the producer of "The First Basket" about the role of Jews in the beginnings of professional basketball. Here's the story and some video clips from YouTube)

And Joel Selzer of Ozmosis, trying to bring some much needed better/faster information to physicians and Gordon Peters of Gratis Internet, whose label said "monetizing Facebook" also got me intrigued.

(and a huge call out to Tamar Lustman who helped make my attendance possible)

Jeff's event was a great example of how a network facilitator, or as Seth might say "Community Manager" can create a great (dare I say 'remarkable') experience for the members.

Social Etiquette Question....

Since Gadi tells me that the blog is getting a bit too intense (see his comment here), I will change it up.

The NFO (Nameless/Faceless one) and I are just overwhelmed by the gracious offers of assistance we've received. So many people. Just tremendous.

So, here's an interesting one.

A few people have made dinner for us and brought the food over in Ziploc containers. So far, so good.

Question: what is the expectation about whether they should be
returned?

On the one hand, the cost of the containers can add up and you are using
your own inventory up. Is that part of the "cost" of the generosity? Does it lead to resentment if you don't get your containers back? In other words, is Ziploc more like a glass platter (I think most would expect that back) than an aluminum pan (most wouldn't)

On the other hand, you are trying to relieve the recipients of some layer
of hassle in their lives. Is it adding hassle to expect that they will return
the containers?

And, if the recipients are in a prolonged state of, let's call it "being
short-handed," how long would one reasonably expect to wait?

I honestly don't know what the right answer is, so I'm open to thoughts.

Am I overthinking?