One of the things to which I don't aspire as a father is to be viewed simply as someone who hands out punishments. I also don't want to be remembered for the times when I lost my temper. That's not the way to build a relationship with your kids.
But, last night, I was pushed to the brink...
Beginning at 2:30am until 6:30am, Paco and Tonka were both WIDE awake. And I'm not just talking about sitting in their room, trying to fall asleep.
The "Inmates were running the asylum."
They turned on lights, were running around, laughing hysterically, started singing the ABC's, and were dancing. It was like a rave that kicked off at 2.30.
On the one hand, they were cute, no doubt, but the implications of the total lack of sleep were huge.
First, I went in with requests.
Then with threats (no dessert, no TV/DVD, removal of favorite toys/blankets/books). Take the Machiavellian approach.
I was frustrated. My temperature was rising. I was exhausted. I could see why people's fuses were lit and then blown.
I had NO idea what to do.
I gave up on that strategy and tried a collaborative approach.
"Guys, I need you to help me help you understand that when you are tired tomorrow morning, you are going to have a really rough day..."
Nope, that didn't work.
Eventually, we gave up, closed the door and just hoped it would die down.
It didn't.
Every 15 minutes, someone was running in with an announcement like:
"I found this on the window!"
"Where is my Elmo book?"
"I need to go Potty."
"Can we jump on the mattresses?"
If this were a foreign country, some dictator would have declared martial law.
Then, Tonka says, "I need help with my tush!"
I get into the bathroom and things are about to go from bad to worse.
Tonka's standing there without her pajamas and Paco has dumped an entire roll of toilet paper into the toilet.
He loves to flush, so we were literally seconds away from a full-on bathroom floor.
I felt like James Bond with a timer descending to zero and I pulled his hand from the lever and then, no choice, pulled a huge wad of paper out of the toilet.
"Yeah, this is all I need at 4am."
The only thing missing was a disco ball and some techno. It was so out of control and the perfect storm of fatigue, fatigue, and oh, fatigue had collided. I had no more runway.
Fortunately, the nameless one saw what was happening and intervened at 7am to help get them started with their day (or should I say the post-party aka school?)
There's no question that one of the greatest moments in parenthood is when your kids are young like this, but last night is one of those that falls outside of that experience.
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