Epsteins in New England, Day 2- East Haven and Springfield

Though the end of Day 1 was plagued by thunderstorms, Day 2 of "Epsteins in New England" or shall I say, "Team Finland in New England" started off beautifully.

We hit the town beach in East Haven and though the NFO and I didn't go in, the kids had a great time.  The weather was perfect and we both remarked about how it is so great that the three of them play so well together (most of the time).

Apparently, according to some locals, about 40 houses in East Haven had been destroyed by Superstorm Sandy, but the town is extremely quaint and picturesque now.

Afterwards, we hit the road north to Springfield, MA where we first stopped at the Basketball Hall of Fame. I was there about 20+ years ago and they have since moved into a new building. While the architecture is nice from the road (looks like a ball), when you get to the parking lot, the sign "Basketball Hall of Fame" gets as much prominence as the adjoining restaurants. Honestly, it was tacky.

Nadia said it best, "Is the Hall of Fame in the mall?"


The HOF itself was fine with some nice memorabilia but the NFO and I both thought that the Football Hall of Fame was better because they did a much nicer job of connecting the history of the sport to American history overall.

There was some of that in Springfield, but not as well done.

The whole building circles around a large basketball floor on the main level and it's open. The consequence is that, while you are reading the exhibits and watching videos, you hear non-stop bouncing of balls and people shouting about their shots. Plus, the obvious corporate tie-ins (a room dedicated to Nike) just made it feel a bit cheap. Look at the sponsorship list for the enshrinement ceremony and you get the picture. I wasn't so impressed by it. It was good, just not great.

What was great was the Dr. Seuss Museum we visited afterward. It was magical. Imagine walking through a Dr. Seuss book and you know what it was like. Really first rate. I loved it.

In the same complex (and you get admission to all with your ticket price), there is the museum of fine arts where we had the chance to see some Monet, Picasso, and some other great works as well.

Tomorrow, off to Vermont....

Epsteins in New England

Team Finland has hit the road for a summer trip (we go North in the summer and South in the winter) and we're going after New England this year.

Day 1 saw us in New London, CT where we visited my mom's alma mater (Connecticut College) and the US Coast Guard Academy (my dad served in the USCG, but didn't attend the Academy.)

I kind of felt bad for the USCG. The museum had a major theme...." we do really great work, but most people don't appreciate us compared to the other services."  

Which is probably true, on both fronts.  The museum was great. We definitely don't appreciate the USCG as much as we could and my kids who are "Hamilton" fans were thrilled to know that it was Hamilton who started the forefather to the USCG, the "Revenue Cutter Service."

From there, we headed to Newport, RI and the oldest synagogue in North America, the Touro Synagogue.

During these troubling times, it was really powerful and inspiring to appreciate the history of Rhode Island, the only colony founded 100% based on religious tolerance.

The synagogue also has a special place in history because of George Washington's famous letter to the congregation in 1790 and the words which resonate particularly strongly today.

For happily the Government of the United States gives to bigotry no sanction, to persecution no assistance, requires only that they who live under its protection should demean themselves as good citizens, in giving it on all occasions their effectual support.

We're headed (a bit back-tracking) to New Haven (will check out Yale) and then off to Springfield, MA and the Basketball Hall of Fame.

The 4 Rules of Epstein

The other night, we had our kick-off session for the Never Stop Marketing Summer Intern program.

Nadia and Paco sat in on it. Naturally, they both read the 11 page prep material as well.

Nadia also took responsibility for taking notes on the whiteboard and, in so doing, captured the 4 biggest rules of the Epstein house.  In other words, how I want them to live their lives.

1. Never Stop Marketing-- obviously.
2. Go big or go home. (But sometimes, especially when you are in college, it's better to go home).
3. Leave it all on the field. All the time. No excuses.
4. If you don't ask, you never get.

The Paris Climate Accord and What I'm Doing About It

Over the past few years, I've become increasingly concerned about climate change.

I really worry about it.

Trump or no Trump, I am increasingly skeptical about government's ability (US or otherwise) to actually solve big problems.

It's sad.

But that doesn't mean I am going to sit around and wait for someone else to fix the problem.

Here's what I am committing to in order to do my little part.

1. I've committed to a near vegan lifestyle (for now, I still eat eggs).
   Like it or not, the meat and dairy we eat probably does more to impact the environment than carbon emissions. That's an inconvenient truth.
   
2. I intend to not buy another plastic water bottle unless it's a truly life threatening situation. (Note: this doesn't apply to my wife and/or kids and I won't judge them for it.) I will carry a refillable water bottle with me wherever I go.
   
3. I will bring a refillable coffee mug when I go out for coffee whenever I can (let's call this 50% of the time).
   
4. I have solar panels on my roof.
   
5. I will continue to compost.
   
6. I will continue my work with blockchain-based technology, because I believe that it powers a new type of decentralized organizations that are going to be better suited to solve these big problems.
   
7. I will continue to migrate (when possible) to more efficient lighting in my home.

Will this save the world by itself? Probably not. But if we go down, it's not going to be for my lack of effort.

Commitment to Coffee and God

Maybe in that order.

Kidding?

Anyway, you may enjoy this story of how my synagogue got corporate sponsorship of our late night (Shavuot) festivities.

Budapest- 14 Miles on Foot in 1 Day

I told the CEO of one of my portfolio companies (Fermat) that I would come visit him in Budapest on one condition...That we did all of our meetings while walking the city.

I hadn't been to Budapest in 20 years and had no idea when I would get back.

So, off we set...Over the course of 11 hours, we covered 14 miles, including:

The Liberty Statue, originally dedicated to the memory of the Soviet soldiers who died liberating Hungary and subsequently changed after the 1989 transition to democracy.

The Dohany Street Synagogue, the largest in Europe. Apparently, it was where Theodor Herzl had his Bar Mitzvah.  There's also (unusually so) a cemetery immediately adjacent to the synagogue. In 1945 when the Soviets liberated the city, they found 2000+bodies piled high in the courtyard and a mass grave was created.

There's a garden of remembrance as well and a small plaza dedicated to Raoul Wallenberg for his efforts to save Hungarian Jewry.

Apparently, in the winter of 1944/1945, nearly all of the deaths in Auschwitz were Hungarian Jews. 

The tour guide was excellent. A young man who didn't know he was Jewish until he was 15 because his great-grandfather, in an effort to protect the family, burned the identity cards that had "Judaism" as the religion printed on them.

I know the Hungarian Nazi sympathizers were right up there with the Poles in terms of their hatred of the Jews, so I'm not whitewashing history here.  

I did notice, in more than a few places, the very public pronouncements (both official and otherwise) of Hungary's complicit role in exterminating Jews. There were a few places (like the memorial behind this sign below) where the blame was placed squarely on German shoulders.

This is the memorial that blames external factors.

But there's obviously a current of people who are openly challenging it...and the signs are allowed to remain up.

 One of the most poignant sights is the shoes along the bank of the Danube, which is a memorial to the Jews who were brought down to the river, told to undress, and then shot, falling into the river.

Apparently, some were psychologically tortured first (asked to get undressed, witnessing execution of those next to them, and then told to return back to the ghetto-which had 70,000 people in a 24 square block area.)

Obviously, it was quite sobering.

We also saw the Hungarian parliament, which is a magnificent building.

and then made our way up the hill to Buda castle for fantastic vistas of the city and the river below.

and there's a horse statue up near the castle grounds. It is made of bronze, but apparently, it's good luck if you put your hands on the horse's testicles.

That's why they are shiny.

Naturally, I wouldn't want to miss the opportunity to have some good luck come my way now, would I?

When I was here 20 years ago, Budapest was still fresh out of the Communist era.

Now, it's a different city. The level of English (at least among the young in touristy areas is first rate). It's VERY clean. There's a modern looking tram system. Some fashionable eateries/cafe's and, I'm told, it's very safe

It's VERY walkable and the river is majestic. I certainly lucked out in terms of weather.

They don't use Euros, btw. (which I figured out when I got here---oh well) and there's definitely a lot of energy. Great bike paths, a lot of runners, and I found people to be generally very friendly.

Towards the outskirts (as you come in from the airport), there's plenty of Soviet era architecture left over, but as you get into the city center, there are some really nice buildings that have a ton of character and charm.

Explaining Bitcoin to a 3rd Grader...

Trying to get your head around why Bitcoin has value?

What are "Protocol Economics?"

What are "tokens" and "coins"?

In this recording, I do my best to explain it all to my 9-year-old daughter (3rd grade).

If she can get it, so can you.

Memorial Day Tribute

The NFO, rightly, in my opinion, feels that much of the meaning of Memorial Day has been lost.  It's more about a day off from school or work and barbecues/sales.

So, she asked each of us to research a soldier (from any conflict) who had sacrificed his/her life for the USA.

Here's what each one wrote:

Nadia wrote about: Army Spc/Pfc. Sarina N. Butcher

Paco wrote about: Sgt. Joshua Rogers

Tikkanen wrote about: First. Lt. Anais Tober (pasted below)

I wrote about: Specialist David E. Hickman

You are welcome to read them and honor the memory of these heroes with us.

Memorial Day 2017- Anais A. Tobar

First Lt. Anais A. Tobar was found dead in her room on July 18, 2016. She was in the United Arab Emirates supporting Operation Inherent Resolve. She was born in Caracas, Venezuela. She then moved to Florida and lived there until  she was assigned to the Fourth Maintenance Squadron, Seymour Johnson Air Force Base, North Carolina. She was very connected with her mom. She was deployed in Abu Dhabi.  “There are not enough words to tell you what a loving and wonderful girl she was,” McGee(family friend) said. “She was God-fearing, deeply devoted to serving others and her country.” She didn’t even die in battle. She died by an unknown cause. I think that on this Memorial Day, we should remember the soldiers who not only died fighting, but died at a young age while serving in the army, even if they didn’t go down fighting.

My dad had a wonderful piece in the WSJ last Saturday in the "Peggy Noonan" slot.  Link here. Pasted below.
Well worth the read.

The Questions of a Lifetime

‘Why are we in America?’ I asked when I was 4. The next eight decades have provided many answers.

By 

David Epstein

May 12, 2017 4:49 p.m. ET

41 COMMENTS

‘Why are we in America?” was the first substantive question I ever asked. It was 1939. I was 4 years old and speaking to my father, Yudie, in a San Antonio neighborhood not far removed from the frontier. He responded by writing a poem, in Yiddish, about how he left a Lithuanian shtetl in 1922 to join his siblings in America. My mother Sonia came from Poland, via Mexico, a few years later. When I got older, I joked that I thought everyone in Texas spoke Yiddish.

“Will there still be news after the war?” I asked my father during World War II. Each day he drove my brother William and me to our local public elementary school. There was no radio in the car, so my father wouldn’t leave the house until he’d heard the latest news about the war. I was always worried we’d be late. We usually arrived just before the tardy bell. I learned later that news would not only still exist but that the concept of news is elastic and ever-expanding, going well beyond great wars.

“What were the causes of the American Civil War?” asked a professor at Harvard College while I was a student there in the mid-1950s. Similar lofty questions filled the air in Harvard Yard, at the dining tables in Adams House, and in well-worn lecture halls. “Were the Dark Ages really without learning and culture? What were the consequences of the closing of the American frontier? What is the Greek idea of tragedy? Why do the righteous suffer and the evil prosper?” Science posed different questions with precise answers, about how to create compounds, measure weights, and understand mass and acceleration.

Saluting the flag in the 1940s. PHOTO: GETTY IMAGES

“Do I want to be a doctor?” I asked myself in 1957 during the summer after college graduation. I’d been accepted to several medical schools. No, I decided, I wanted something else. At Harvard Law School, the interrogative Socratic Method was applied in such a way that previously confident students were resigned to humiliation.

“Aye, aye sir,” is the answer of a junior officer in the U.S. Coast Guard, aboard ship or on shore. Follow orders, rules, and military etiquette. I served my country by doing as I was told. No questions asked.

“Ask not what your country can do for you—ask what you can do for your country,” said President Kennedy in 1961. I took his command literally. Moving to Washington, I became an assistant U.S. attorney. I asked a prosecutor’s questions in my effort to learn and present affirmative facts or to challenge those offered by the defense. Eventually I asked legal questions in courtrooms as a civil litigator, in classrooms as a law professor, and in conference rooms as an arbitrator.

“Who is America’s most obscure president?” I asked Ellen Robinson in May 1971. It was our second date. She answered that this was the same question that she asked her dates. “If we have that much in common, we should get married,” I said. Ten weeks later we did. Our marriage is in its 46th year and has produced five children and 12 grandchildren. (For the record, I say Franklin Pierce was most obscure; Ellen says Chester Alan Arthur. )

“What’s in this week’s Torah?” my then 5-year-old son once asked me during our traditional Sabbath-eve dinner. I made dinner-table questions a feature of family life in order to divert the children from their antics and introduce content to our discussions. One week, I forgot to raise any topics. The child’s question led me to write an article. That generated an offer from a major publisher to write a book. I co-authored “Torah With Love: A Guide for Strengthening Jewish Values Within the Family.” A reviewer wrote, “This is one of those books which can change lives.” Years later, an author referred to our book as a “classic.”

“I wonder what we are missing right now?” is the question I asked Ellen during the weeklong celebration of Harvard’s 350th anniversary in 1986. The dean of the John F. Kennedy School of Government had just noted that in 1936, at the Harvard tercentenary, not a single one of the speakers made reference to conditions in Europe. Three years later the Continent was consumed by war, the consequences of which would take 50 years to resolve. I attest that in 1986 none of the academic, political and cultural leaders who spoke offered a single thought to suggest that Europe was again on the verge of world-changing events. Three years later, in 1989, the Berlin Wall, the physical symbol of the divide between freedom and totalitarianism, fell. In 1991, the “evil empire” itself, the Soviet Union, collapsed.

“Where shall we go?” I asked each of my children when they were teenagers and ready for a one-on-one trip with Dad. Our eldest, Jeremy, chose communist Europe, and we contemplated the blessings of freedom and the meaning of democracy from both sides of the then-still-standing Berlin Wall. Asher chose New Zealand and Australia during the latter’s 200th celebration of the arrival of the First Fleet. When Barak and I set off to see the Roman Empire, our shared reading assignment was Edward Gibbon’s “Decline and Fall.” On our trip to Turkey, Dina and I walked up to the ruins of Troy while listening to “The Iliad.” My trip with Kira, the youngest, took us across a broad swath of the new South Africa, conceived by Nelson Mandela.

“What do you know now that you didn’t know then?” I asked my childhood, high school, and college friends when we reconnected during a yearlong, cross-country 80th-birthday celebration in 2015. We talked about lessons learned, not current events. We talked about resilience after being battered by life, adjustments to a changing world, disappointments and satisfaction in family, career, and community.

“Are you depressed?” an exercise therapist asked me after an unexpected four-way coronary artery bypass surgery during that same 80th birthday year. “No, am I supposed to be?” I responded. I was actually amazed at what medical science had done for me.

“What bedrock principles and values would you like to pass on to your descendants?” My answer: integrity is not negotiable; never stop learning; cling to the aspirations of the Declaration of Independence and defend the restraints of the Constitution; salute the flag; and pass along these values to the next generation.

Oh, and ask substantive questions.

Mr. Epstein is a lawyer in Washington, D.C. and a self-styled “minor American playwright.” This essay is adapted from his contribution to a collection published for the 60th reunion of the Harvard College Class of 1957.

Video: The College Fallacy

This guy pretty much nails it.

Finding Life in a Cemetery

There are some days that you (well, I) just need to memorialize because of how meaningful they were.

Sunday was one of them for me.

My friend, Michael Fishman, whose mother died way too early told me that he thought my blog was a great gift to my kids because, "one day, when they are curious about who you are, they will have your blog."

I was so fortunate to have my maternal grandparents with me until the age of 34. Every year since they died 10 years ago, we had a family gathering on/around the anniversary of their death.

Last year, for whatever reason, we didn't make it.

So, this year, when the anniversary of their deaths (they died within 5 weeks of each other) came around, I really felt a pang and a deep need to visit them.

As is typical of suburban Dad Sundays, however, we had to keep pushing it off. Baseball, dancing, birthday parties, weather, etc.

Finally, yesterday, we realized it was our time.

I took the kids to the cemetery and we stood at the grave, just talking to my beloved Nana and Poppy.

Tikkanen and Jokinen both remembered them. Lakkanen was born a year after they died, so she never got to know them.

Still, I knew that Nana and Poppy would have been proud of the people that their 3 great-grandchildren (of mine, that is) are becoming.

We reflected on life, death, and the lessons that my grandparents taught me about friendship, love, marriage, and perseverance.

I wondered how they would view the events transpiring today. Though my Poppy was an early adopter, I wasn't sure that he would totally get Blockchain.

All of us were crying and, though I'd had some resistance from some of the kids about going, they all took the moment seriously.

It was really a "mental snapshot" that allowed me to hold them close and realize how fleeting the time is.


I don't think I every truly appreciated the importance of a cemetery for personal reflection until yesterday.

As we left and drove up the Baltimore-Washington Parkway, we were discussing what we had experienced, when Paco said "hey, there's a Ferris Wheel, can we go on it?

So, in a moment of spontaneity and an effort to just Carpe Diem it, I took the exit.

Turns out there was a "pop-up carnival" with a bunch of rides (including a mini roller coaster).  I was particularly proud of how we managed our budget and allocated out tickets to maximum usage.

It was a team effort as Tonka gave up one ride.

And, from the top of the Ferris Wheel, we saw a Walmart in the adjacent lot, so, as is our custom, we went to get flavored water and scented candles.

I knew we had created a memory. We joked about "hey cemeteries are supposed to be free, this one trip cost us over $75!" and we had a great bonding experience.

I held them close and I held the memories of the moments even closer.

That night, began Yom HaZikaron (Memorial Day for Israel's fallen soldiers) and, as it happens, I was summoned to perform a ritual cleansing (tahara) as part of the burial society (chevra kadisha).

So, mortality was very much on my mind yesterday.

But because of that, I held on to Life and it's beauty with an even greater grip.

Colleges Don't Prepare You For Careers, Part 2

Glad that the Wall St. Journal is following my lead.

WSJ.com: "Graduates Ill-Prepared in Job Hunt."

Holocaust Remembrance Day and the Generational Transfer

One of my fears, when I became a parent, was that my children would never have the opportunity to meet or hear from a Holocaust survivor at an age where the memory would become strong.

Knowing that we are in a transition to an era where the living witnesses of the horrors of that terrible time and those who directly experienced it are dwindling to zero, I am acutely aware of the burden that will fall upon the generations of the future.

Given the amount of Holocaust denial that already occurs, it's essential that my kids' generation internalizes the lessons as much as possible. 

As tonight begins the Holocaust Remembrance Day, we attended an event where Felix Nicinski (oral history)  (and another article about his story) spoke of his experiences in ghettoes, slave labor camps, concentration camps, and on the run throughout Germany and Poland during the years of World War II.

It's never easy to hear the stories and we'll never understand the Holocaust in its entirety (tonight I learned a new fact- there were over 42,000 different places that the Germans used to incarcerate Jews in one form or another over the whole of Europe during that time).

Still, it was meaningful that the kids had a chance to remember the 6 million who perished through the words of one who persevered and survived.

Hopefully, this night will stay with them so they can do their part to ensure the lesson of "Never Again!"

College May Be Causing You to Lose Out On Career Readiness

It's graduation season for college seniors.

It's also the time of year when high school seniors (for the most part) decide where they want to go to college.

So, since this blog is often about recognizing and adapting to changing paradigms, it's as good as time as any to bring this one up.

The primary catalyst for this post is Tom Friedman's excellent new book, Thank You For Being Late. (Go buy it now. I'll wait.)

Ok, thanks for coming back. So, let's talk about the "idea" of college and, naturally, we'll connect it to blockchains. Stay tuned for that.

The Original Paradigm

It's not really new to say that, for years (probably since the end of WWII) the basic social contract in America was- "to go college, get a good job."

Implied within that was, "if you finish high school and you graduate college, your formal education is pretty much done and you are in pretty good shape for a solidly middle-class lifestyle."

Essentially, a college degree was a signal to an employer that "yes, this person is responsible enough to show up at 9, leave at 5, and get the job done by following orders/processes."

Broken Paradigm

As we've all seen, however, the last part of that implied contract "solidly middle-class lifestyle" is far from a guarantee these days.  It's under assault by offshoring, robotics, Artificial Intelligence, and more.

Yet, while the second half of the equation isn't holding, it doesn't feel like society (for the most part) has started to question the first part of the equation, the input of "college."

Now, on this blog, I've been on a "Higher Ed" is broken rant for a LONG time, but I'll recap my main points here.

1. a traditional liberal arts education IS a good thing and should be valued
2. the Return on Investment on most college degrees is sub-optimal
3. the debt burden prevents young people from exploring, innovating, and being as creative as they can at the time in their lives when they have the most flexibility
4. college doesn't really prepare most people for today's working world
5. there are some exceptions-but they are exceptions

Why The Paradigm Is Broken

At this point, I'll let Friedman take over:

"Another big challenge is the way we educate our population. We go to school for twelve or more years during our childhoods and early adulthoods, and then we're done. But when the pace of change gets this fast, the only way to retain a lifelong working capacity is to engage in lifelong learning. There is a whole group of people -judging from the 2016 election- who did not join the labor market at age twenty thinking they were going to have to do lifelong learning...and they are not happy about it."

Sadly, our colleges (and I've seen this in hiring or not hiring many recent college graduates over the past few years) do not prepare students for today's rapidly changing world.

Friedman calls it "The Age of Accelerations." Accelerating technology (Moore's Law), markets (globalization), and Mother Nature (climate change) that are SO fast, it recalls the Darwinian that only the most adaptable survive.

Accelerating technology (Moore's Law), markets (globalization), and Mother Nature (climate change) that are SO fast, it recalls the Darwinian that only the most adaptable survive.

A powerful anecdote he tells is that when he began his journalism career in the late 1970s, he used a typewriter, which was essentially the same device that had been used for nearly 100 years.

In the 40 years since, the number of technologies he's adapted to, used, and moved beyond is quite long.

And it's getting faster.

Meanwhile, our society is fixated upon traditional college degrees that rely on "broadcast" methods of teaching (lecturer to student) and are centered in a place, instead of recognizing that now, the BEST lecturers from everywhere are available anytime and that learning can be customized and skills can be mastered anywhere.

What's more, tenure creates complacency (under the guise of academic freedom) and no one dares question spending on education, so colleges/universities raise their rates over and over again, knowing that the money will keep coming.

It's like The Big Short...but worse. Or should I say, bigger,

Bottom line: College-as we have it today- in the US is, for the most part, utterly failing the students who are counting on them to prepare them for the world of the future.

The Emergent Paradigm

Here's where blockchain fits in.

If you really want to go deep (and you should) read this excellent article about the Blockchain Revolution in Higher Education.

The major takeaway here is that the combination of micro-customizable learning and blockchain-based certifications that can prove competencies or skills in an immutable and personally portable way offers the possibility of a full-blown "enlightenment" type explosion coming to the industry.

It not only levels the playing the field, giving access to many, it actually raises the playing field for everyone.

You aren't bound by an institution. Your credentials can be determined and verified by an employer.

And the value of those credentials can be measured in real-time in the market.

This is early days (which is really, really unfortunate), but at least I now feel like there's an answer to "what comes next?

My Advice to Students Today

Sadly, most of society hasn't recognized this yet so you're in a transition period. A few things then.

One, don't overspend on college, particularly for a liberal arts degree. (Engineering and CompSci are an exception where name brands like MIT, Carnegie Mellon really deliver value).

Yes, there's some 'brand lift' from attending a top tier school, but I skeptical that the ROI will be there. If you get a scholarship, go for it, but be intentional.  Your parents graduated college before the Internet was a "thing."  Don't accept their paradigm blindly.

Most likely, getting a college degree makes sense, so think cost-benefit and then CRUSH IT.

On top of that, OWN your education. Think about how to become a lifelong learner. That's critical.

How a 6th Grader Understands Blockchains

Last week I shared how Paco was doing a project to design a Utopia. He and his teammates decided to run it off a blockchain.

With his permission, I am sharing their presentation.  Pay attention to slides 2 and 7.

Gratitude and Perspective on a trip to Seattle

I have met some of the most inspirational people this week.

The Shooting Victim
On Sunday, I took a Lyft from the airport and was chatting with my driver, Pedro.

A younger man, I noticed that he had 2 "RIP" tattoos on his hand, so I asked him about them.

"When I was in high school, I was playing basketball with some of my friends and one of them had an aneurysm and died.

The other one, well, we were at a night club and my friend walked outside. Two guys jumped him, mugged him, and ended up shooting and killing him."

Whoa.

I let that sink in.  I noticed, unlike almost every other driver, when he got cut off he was exceedingly friendly, understanding, and compassionate to the other drivers, giving them the benefit of the doubt.

I asked about it.

"You know," he said, "I was shot also. 2 bullets at one time. One in my leg and one in my arm.  Once that happens to you, you can't help but thinking about things differently."

Double whoa.

The Two Former Homeless Men
When I landed in Seattle, I was waiting for my bag at the carousel and started chatting with 2 guys.

One of them, from Juneau, Alaska, had been kicked out of his house by his mom at age 14.  He worked at canneries in the summer to make money and lived under a bridge while he was going to school.

For 7 years.

And, yet....he persevered.

He moved to Nevada, got married, and shed an entirely new perspective on what it means to be homeless and how, because you don't have an address, it's near impossible to get a job...on that account alone.

The other guy was arrested a few days after his 18th birthday for selling meth. He was sentenced to 10 years in jail and served 2.

I asked him about the experience.

"It fixed me. I never want to go back.  You fight for everything. It's hell."

Twenty years later (after a period of homelessness for him as well), he is married and works in construction.

"People don't get homeless people," they both said.

And yet, though they felt invisible at times, they both had a Zen-like calm about them and a sense of gratitude that they were there, breathing, and continuing on.

They exuded perspective and appreciation, hardships notwithstanding.

The Asylum Seeker
My driver in Seattle was from Ethiopia.

But not any immigrant story.

This guy, over 25 years ago, was on the Ethiopian national soccer team, during the Communist era.

One night, the team was in Cairo for a match and the Communist party official came down hard on him and a few of his teammates for wearing jeans. "Too western."

That was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back.

Late that night, a few of them meet at the elevator, go down to the basement of the hotel and literally, under cover of darkness, make a run for the US Embassy.

They make it to the gate, ask for, and get political asylum.

They hadn't planned it beforehand or told anyone, but they decided that freedom was worth the risk.

They got it.

Sadly, his family back in Ethiopia was harassed for 2 years by the police and government, but they were supportive of his decision.

What it meant to me...
I know I am guilty of losing perspective at time. I am guilty of getting caught up in the small stuff. I am going to try and remember what they guys went through so I can keep my head where it belongs...on what is really important.

Sometimes the universe just tells you something about life. It's up to us to listen.

Blockchain Utopia...My Work Here is Done

So Paco gets a group assignment at school to create a Utopia. I think he was reading "The Giver."

They decide that they are going to create a "benevolent dictatorship."

I ask some questions about how they will protect people's interests, expressing some skepticism.

A few days later, I am on a plane to California. When I land, I get a message from Paco that says "We think it makes more sense to have our Utopia use a blockchain. Can you call me and explain it?"

So, I call him.

"Don't worry," he says. "I didn't hear from you so I looked it up myself."

At which point he proceeds to basically explain what a blockchain is and why and how it would be a better way to run his Utopia.

It was a great parenting moment. :-)

People who love people

There are people out there who just love people. They love connecting and love learning and listening.

Engel Jones is one of them.

To live his beliefs, he set an ambitious goal for himself...Have a 12 minute conversation with 1000 people in a 3 month timeframe.

He recorded them and published them.

I came in #883. There are some really good ones here.

Building the Emotional Muscles

For the past 18 months or so, I've been working out my emotional intelligence muscles. Like any regimen, there are periods of soreness, frustration, and plateaus.

And, like any effort, it's always nice to get positive reinforcement.

I saw a tweet from Naval (someone whom I have come to respect a great deal)

Everyone starts out innocent. Everyone is corrupted. Wisdom is the discarding of vices and the return to virtue, by way of knowledge.

— Naval Ravikant (@naval) March 12, 2017

and a blog post from Seth Godin, entitled "emotionally attractive."

People who are open, empathetic, optimistic, flexible, generous, warm, connected, creative and interesting seem to have a much easier time. They're more able to accomplish their goals, influence others and most of all, hang out with the people they'd like to be with.

The best part is that this is a skill, something we can work on if we care enough.

I didn't really care enough about this skill until 18 months ago. I didn't think it was really necessary and, even if it was, I didn't think I had the capability to build it.

I was wrong.

I'm not a Jedi master black belt yet by any stretch, but I'm seeing both the inherent and practical value of the effort.

Then, since good things come in 3's, I suppose, I was reading the good ol' Costco Connection and found some great advice about how to put it all into practice when it comes to being supportive.

"Yes, and..." is a classic but I really loved #4, "bring a brick, not a cathedral."

I tend to bring cathedrals too often.

Trump coping mechanism: Take what the scene gives you

Like many people, Michelle isn't thrilled about the results of the US Presidential election.

Of course, that's an understatement.

But what separates Michelle from many is how she chooses to respond to Trump's election.

As a specialist in creativity and improv, Ilene says that the first rule of improv is

"Take what the scene gives you."

Don't resist it.

Don't fight it.

Don't wish it was something else.

Recognize that it is what you have to deal with right now and go with it, in a natural, flowy type of way.

I found this approach so refreshing. It's not that she's complacent about Trump, it's where she chooses to focus her energy and the way she accepts the context around her as a starting point.

Take what the scene gives you.

Korean: One of the best birthday gifts I ever received

Serendipity is a beautiful thing.

A few weeks ago I asked the network for the most high-tech way to buy a suit.

Rasul Sha'ir (here's his TEDx talk) pointed me to itailor.com

I figured...what the heck. Go for it. So with the help of Nadia (age 9), we took the measurements and went a bit crazy in the customizations.

I was nervous that it wouldn't work, but the suit showed up 3 weeks later and it's pretty solid.

As it turns out, we messed up on a few of the measurements (not so surprising), so I took it to the dry cleaner/tailor near my house.

It's owned by Koreans where the English isn't so great, which is fine, but when I dropped it off, they saw the issue, made the marks and I thought I was set.

But, I wasn't.

They called me about 90 minutes later and began telling me something. The thing is...despite all of my efforts, I couldn't figure out what they were saying.

So, even though I didn't want to go back, I had to.

As today is my birthday, I've been lucky to get a bunch of phone calls from people all over the world.

As luck would have it, at the EXACT moment when I walked in through the door of the dry cleaners, I got a call from a JHU classmate, Nelson Lee.

After we said a quick hello, I had a brainflashs.

"Hey wait, Nelson, you're Korean, right?"

"Yes."

"Do you speak Korean?"

"Yes."

"Can I ask for a birthday gift?"

At which point, I put Nelson on speaker and he did real-time translation of what the tailor (an elderly Korean gentlemen) was saying and what I responded.

Now, thanks to Nelson's birthday call and his on the fly Korean real-time translation, my bespoke suit should look sharp.

The more I think about it, the more I can't get over the fact that, at the precise moment that I needed Korean language skills, someone with Korean language skills called me.

Total proof of God's existence. ;-)

Or, as my brother said, it's "Korean-as-a-service."

Kamsa Hamneeda!!

Compounded Interest of Relationships

He's a venture capitalist, but his analysis of relationships is spot on. Feels very appropriate for today.

Thoughts on Love, Marriage, and Relationships

Over the course of 25 years and approximately 1800 calls per year, you get to learn a lot about people, lives, and relationships.

Sadly, you see a lot of marriages form and then dissolve.

It's part of life, I know, and not every marriage is meant to be.  Sometimes, no matter what, it can't be saved.

I think one thing (there are many) that seems to separate the happier marriages from (some of) the more troubled marriages is the perspective that people take about what "love" is.

In my mind, one of the better definitions is that love isn't really a noun. 

It's a verb.

It's a series of actions based on compassion and understanding of the needs of others.

It's actions that speak louder than words. 

This African proverb sums it up about as well as I've ever seen.

Western civilization has idealized, in my opinion, Love as a feeling that is either present or not. I just wonder if that's a disservice, in some respects.

The feeling of Love is internal to you/each of us, the action of Love is towards another person/external.

Perhaps another explanation comes from the classic Fiddler on the Roof song, "Do you Love me?"

The whole point is...it's the day-in, day-out actions of caring for another person, putting their needs first, and supporting them in what they want to accomplish that makes up Love.

Dedicated to the memory of my grandparents, as today is their wedding anniversary. They were the picture of both kinds of Love.