A dead man lives...

A few months back, a dear friend of ours passed away. He was 60 years old.

My mother has been helping his widow go through all of his belongings to process them and organize them. He was a well dressed man in his day and I am the recipient of 6 suits, 4 blazers, and numerous shirts and trousers. The clothes fit neither of my brothers.

Anyway, over the last few weeks, I've been wearing his clothes. That doesn't bother me so much. In fact, I think he's post-humously making me a better dresser.

What is interesting is how I'll put my hand in a suit pocket or the back pocket of some pants and find something that he put there.

Today, I found a cocktail napkin. I've found a dollar bill and a button, among other things.

It's just weird to think that he put these things there whenever he did and now I'm taking them out. It makes me pause to think about the man and in a different twist, what was happening to him when he put the item in there at the time.

The possibilities are endless:
Did he get change for $10 bill and only need 9?
Was he at a party on his way out and didn't see a trash can, so put the napkin in his pocket?
Did he find a button on the street or his desk? Was he doing a friend a favor?

I guess it doesn't matter, but it gives me a unique chance to have a 1:1 bond with a departed friend.

Nemawashi...

There are some great terms in foreign language that succintly describe a concept that takes multiple English words.

One of the best is "Schadenfreude" in German, which basically means taking joy in the misfortune of others. A great example is if you are a watching a football game and your team intercepts a pass. You experience Schadenfreude as a result of the opposing team's problems.

Another great one is "Nemawashi," in Japanese.

A friend of mine from the Snickelways days called me up this evening and told me that he had used this term over and over with the boardmembers of his non-profit organization. Their meeting is this upcoming Friday and he had scheduled meetings with each of them prior to the actual meeting. When they asked him why, he said it was Nemawashi.

Nemawashi reflects the Japanese desire for consensus and is the process of securing agreement from all of the principal players on a topic prior to the actual meeting. This way, when the meeting occurs, there is no animosity nor loud debate. Everyone has already agreed upon the course of action.

I was honored that he remembered it six years down the road and it caused me to once again appreciate some of the elements of the foreign languages and concepts I've studied.

How I walk....

Got to love what technology can do. About 6 months ago, I detected some pain in my left knee and ankle. I sat off it for a while and when that didn't work, went to the Orthopedist. He prescribed orthotics.

Finally, went there yesterday and as part of the examination, I walked over a pad, which was connected to a computer that tracked 2000 points of pressure from my feet on the ground.

It was pretty insightful as the image shows. The areas of red is where highest pressure is and, I'm told, it should all be in the front of the foot. It's not, clearly, so we'll see if the orthotics help and if not, there's apparently some therapy to "re-learn" how to walk.

Bluetooth and 1066

My newest technology gadget acquisition is a Bluetooth-enabled wireless headset for my phone. Bluetooth is a technology that has been around for at least 7 years (when I first heard of it) and I think it's finally hitting the mainstream (judging by the fact that it's a selling point in current car commercials.

This has led me to the new conclusion that the adoption curve for technologies is approximately 7 years. I'm watching a few others, including Electronic Bill Payment and Presentment (e-Billing), among them.

When I first heard about Bluetooth, I remembered that it was named for a Danish king (it was invented in Denmark). For more info on the origin of the name, click here.

Meanwhile, I've been listening to a book about the Norman invasion/conquest of England in 1066. I had no idea of the interplay of the Norwegian king, Harald Hardrada in the events of that year until I listened to this book. Anyway, in part of the historical context, the author was mentioning Harald's experience with the Danish kings who "always had colorful nicknames."

Made me think of King Bluetooth and the earphone I was wearing at the same time bearing his name over 1000 years later.

Girl Scout Cookies...

If a girl scout shows up at your door, do you HAVE to buy cookies?

I mean, let's say you don't really want them. Are you discouraging the girl if you say no and sending her down the wrong path? Or, are you misleading her, by doing a symptathy buy, since that's not how sales really work?

This year, the doorbell rang and I KNEW I didn't want ANY cookies at all in the house (having learned from last year).

What to do?

P.S. One option was to buy a box that would be "donated" with the proceeds going to the "Army" (that's the word she used) or "Cancer" (I didn't ask further).

Travelling with "the boy"

It was with mixed emotions that I woke up this morning. On the one hand, I was looking forward to some quality bonding time 1:1 with Erez. On the other hand, I was thinking about all of the possible snafus that could evolve in 7 hours of travel, two airplanes, a connection in Detroit, and a 5 month old infant.

Key lesson of the day is that when a father is travelling alone with a child, the attitude of the people around you changes dramatically. Let's say a mother is there with a crying child, people are thinking "hmmm, why can't this woman control her kid?"

With a father, there are no expectations, people think that he's naturally incompetent. Women flock to you (particularly those between 45-65 with no grandkids of their own), and you're the object of empathy and patient understanding.

On flight 1 (which suffered a 45 minute delay on an uncomfortalby hot day), I enlisted the aid of 4 flight attendants and 5 other passengers. It was great. Flight 2 wasn't as bad from a crying perspective (we had about a 25 minute episode on the first flight) and we made it very well.

I guess the key for today was attitude and perspective. If you think it's going to be stressful and difficult, it will be. If you give yourself plenty of time, plan and think ahead, and maintain your composure, it's generally going to work out pretty well.

Erez was a total trooper and did a great job of putting up with all of the movement. A bonding day indeed.

Memphians....

It took me 36 hours on the ground in this city by the Mississippi to get the answer to the question of "what is a person from Memphis called?" but I was relentless and succeeded.

The other questions I asked were, "what do Memphians take pride in for their city?" (Blues, BarBQ, FedEx" and "what are real estate prices like?" ($200k for a 4 bdrm/2 bath in a nice neighborhood.) That was just the tipe of the iceberg as tte four of us spent the weekend in Tennessee as part of the wedding festivites for Tamar's family.

A firm believer in the need to learn about the location you visit and experience its unique attributes, I made sure we (well, at least Calanit and I) were off and running as soon as we landed. (The logistical elements of moving 2 kids, getting up at 4.30am, taking car seats, strollers, and clothes is a story for another day. The rough parallel is the US Army invading Iraq.)

Anyway, I took Calanit to Graceland and, like my dad did for my siblings and me, made a point of explaining the significance of Elvis to American pop culture. We also talked down to the river, where I told Calanit about its importance to American economic development. Beale St. is the heart of the Blues culture, which was complemented by a visit to the Stax museum of Soul Music, so we could talk about American music and the African American culture of the Deep South. We also saw the famous ducks of the Peabody hotel parade out of the elevator and into the pond.

All of this plus tremendous family bonding time, including a mock football game in the conference room of the hotel where we dstayed, made for a memorable weekend.

(The picture at right is Calanit in front of Elvis' fur covered bed in Graceland.)

Calanit's identity

“Calanit, are you Jewish?”

“No!”

“Really, why not?”

“Cuz I’m Calanit!”

 

 

Ariel Sharon's words.

On this sad day (Sharon has suffered from two strokes) I found a May 2003 quote from Haaretz:

"A senior security official recently told [journalist Akiva] Eldar of a conversation with Sharon, in which the prime minister said Israel must stick to its guns for the next 30 years, at which time alternative technologies will reduce the need for oil, thus sapping Arab influence on Europe and the world."www.SetAmericaFree.org

Learning science...

I've got a great little "con" that I put on.

I've taught Calanit that when I say "Ar" she says "chimedes." As in, Archimedes, the Greek philosopher/scientist who postulated that the amount of water displaced from a bathtub when a person enters it is equal to the mass (or volume, honestly I don't even remember) of the person.

So, what I do is the following.
"Calanit, what was the name of the Greek philosopher who, while sitting in a bathtub, came up with the principle identifying water displacement based on volume of the object inserted into the water? His name was 'Ar..."
"chimedes!!!"

People are blown away and say "I didn't even know that!"
Of course, I could say, "who was the guy at the grocery store? His name was "Ar..."
"chimedes!"

Anyway, it's pretty cute.

I do have her refined on the following:
"What's a major component of blood?"
"Hemoglobin!!"

All she needs to hear is 'blood' and she's off and running.

I'm working on some more. I'll keep you posted.

What I love about America...

My cleaning lady has a nicer (as defined by price) car than either my wife or I do.
What a country.

I know you're going to ask.
She's got a Hyundai Sonata. I have a Hyundai Elantra and Tamar drives a '91 Camry.

Multiple choice questions...

My dad used to use multiple choice questions very effectively. I've started having fun with them (and hopefully teaching my kids as well.)

Last night's was the following:
"What time do you go to bed?
A. 3 o'clock
B. 8 o'clock
c. 10 o'clock"

"10!"
"I'm sorry that's incorrect. Would you like to try again?"
I repeated the answers.
"8!" she yelled.
"Good job."
Then she said, "thirty," as in eight-thirty.

Tamar and I just looked at each other wondering how she knew that one. Kids pick up the darndest things.

Macro and micro-balancing

I was explaining to Erez this morning that one life's challenges is sweating the small stuff, the details that do matter and which together form the building blocks of our lives, but at the same time, being able to stop and smell the roses and appreciate life's great dramas like love, struggling with issues of mortality, a baby's smile, and of course, a great football game.

Nothing too profound here, just still marvelling at how we can (and have to) exist on both planes simultaneously.

What a game

Tamar came down at 12.15 or so and chided me for staying up to watch the Texas-USC national championship game. Texas was down by 5 points with 3 minutes to go or something like that.

 

“Sometimes,” I said, “there is no doubt that I waste my life watching too much football. Tonight, however, is not one of those nights. This is one of the greatest college football games of all time, maybe the greatest and this quarterback is incredible. I’ve never seen anyone like him.”

 

And at that point, the game wasn’t even over. It just got better after that. Whoa!

 

The first-ever "Blogvey"

If Blog=Web + log

Then Blogvey= Blog + survey

 

Anyway, since there’s no easy way for me to track who reads the Blog, would you mind just posting a comment to this entry? Let’s give it a week and see how many people actually do read the blog.

 

Thanks for humoring me on the first, as far as I know, Blogvey on the Internet.

Blogvey addendum...

It doesn't help if you don't sign it. Enough with the "anonymous" :-)
Throw me a bone here, man.

Big Girl Bed

My little girl is growing up. The last 4 nights she hasn’t slept in a crib and now prefers the “big girl bed.”

Certainly one of life’s little exciting moments (or maybe a big exciting moment).

What it means to have a kosher kitchen

Heard this the other day and thought it was spot on.

 

“To have a kosher kitchen means you have two of everything and prepare a Thanksgiving meal every week.”

New perspective on some of the challenging aspects of parenting...

Some of the late nights are very tough. The fatigue wears on you. There are times, when I selfishly look at my son and beg him to sleep or I ask him to not require that he be held so often.

Then, this morning at 6 am, I had a flash.

At some point, in the not too distant future, he's probably not going to want to be held by me. In fact, he may even run in the opposite direction. Better cherish these moments of when he really wants me to hold him, no matter how tired I am.

Sometimes a change in perspective is all it takes.

So, what is a Great Mind?

If the New Year's resolution is to spend times with great minds, then a definition is probably warranted. I suppose it's a person who likes to ask "Why?" and likes to spend time talking about ideas, as Eleanor Roosevelt said, and is also comfortable talking about the important aspects of life-like death-in non-emotional terms. Someone who is comfortable discussing the uncomfortable and seeking answers within them. Someone who would rather talk about this and gets annoyed, possibly, when a comment like "nice weather..." is thrown at him.

I'm sure there'll be more on this.